Joke heard on The Sopranos ("Adult" joke)

[red dog 1]

Rich man and poor man have the same wedding anniversary, so every year they meet and tell each other what they got for their wives.

POOR MAN:
"What did you buy your wife this year?"

RICH MAN:
"This year I got her a Rolls Royce and a diamond necklace"

POOR MAN:
"Why a Rolls Royce AND a diamond necklace?"

RICH MAN:
"Well, if she doesn't like the necklace, she can drive the Rolls Royce to return it and still be happy"..."What did you get your wife this year?"

POOR MAN:
"I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo"

RICH MAN:
"Why did you get her a pair of slippers and a dildo?"

POOR MAN:
"Well, if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself"

[PJMcK]

1. Sorry, but you reminded me of this chestnut

The Three Stages of Marital Sex

STAGE ONE: Anywhere Sex
The young couple is totally in love and constantly hot for one another. They make out everywhere they can.

STAGE TWO: Bedroom Sex
The slightly older couple has settled down as they've spent more and more time together. They still love one another but their love-making has tempered somewhat and they've settled into a "Saturday Night in the Bedroom" routine.

STAGE THREE: Hallway Sex
The now older couple still care about one another but time has taken its toll. When they pass one another in the hallway, they snarl, "Fuck you."
==============

Thank you. I'll be here through Monday night. Please tip your servers.

[Hotler]

2. A classic..... nt

[red dog 1]

3. What about Tuesday night?

(I always tip my servers)

[A HERETIC I AM]

4. Old dude is laying next to his old wife...

They’ve been married 65 years.

He reaches over and places his hand on her in a spot he hasn’t felt get wet in 25 years

“If this would get wet, I could get rid of my porn.”

She reaches over and grabs his flaccid junk and says

“If this would get hard we could get rid of the gardener “

[PJMcK]

5. Thank you

You've relieved me of my guilt for posting the other joke.

Have a great week, Heretic!

[A HERETIC I AM]

6. Humor has no guilt!

If you can't take a joke, take a number.

No...wrong idiom.


If you can't take a joke, take the dog for a walk.

No..lemmee see....


If you can't take a joke, you can't take a joke.

There.