Friend requests on Facebook.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

I almost posted this on FB, and then decided it might be far too rude there, but here goes.

Friend requests. If I've never met you, even though we may have several friends in common, I'm not likely to accept the request. A bit ago I was scrolling through some friend requests, and to my delight I had one from someone I actually know. I don't understand sending friend requests to everyone out there. I'll admit that several of the requests I've been ignoring for years are from old high school classmates, but honestly, we weren't friends back then, I haven't seen you outside a reunion in over 50 years, so no, I'm not going to accept.

I've also gotten burned by friended some former co-workers who have turned out to be right wing nutcases. Oh, dear.

[Honeycombe8]

1. I put a notice on my page, too.

I say something like, "I'm sorry, but I don't respond to friend requests. I don't really "do" Facebook. I just have an account to participate in some FB groups."

I should probably re-word it to make it friendlier. I just put something on the page in haste to stop the friend requests. I was getting requests from a number of the people in this groups, and owners of local businesses, and a few people I actually know but don't know well.

I think avid FB users are into the # of friends they have? And businesses want to spread their names around, and for "friends" to automatically get their business posts.

[CurtEastPoint]

2. So if you have it set that only friends can see your page, potential friends won't see your notice

If you have your security set to public, then of course everyone will see it.

But you may know this. If so, I apologize for intruding.

I get friend requests and only accept them if I have some common friend or similar interests.

I've been on FB for 10 years and have about 300 friends. I've seen people who have 5000. How? Ridiculous.

[Honeycombe8]

4. I quit getting friend requests.

So I guess I put it on "bio" section. Something that's public.

I don't have kids, and I don't have an exciting life. So I don't post pictures. I also am just not interested in all that. I don't want my life on the internet like that.

I just don't want to turn into one of those people who posts his lunch and dinner pics on the FB. I know someone who does that.

[skypilot]

3. The thing that bothered me...

...about friend requests on Facebook was when I would accept them and then hear NOTHING from the persons who submitted the requests, not even a hello. Just one of the many reasons I deactivated my account.

[Honeycombe8]

5. There's a trend of neighborhood online groups doing it in FB.

Which requires members to have a FB account, of course. I wish they would use something else. Nextdoor.com is an alternate.

I don't have any bio info, and I have a notice that I don't respond to friend requests.

[RKP5637]

6. Yep, Nextdoor.com seems to really work well! n/t

[jimlup]

7. I just don't find Facebook worth bothering with

I've found some people that I'm happy to have found but most of the stuff I can just do without.

[Sherman A1]

15. I enjoy it for my hobbies

And making connections to share ideas and information regarding them. I have picked up numerous ideas and tips on them. Certainly a lot of the general Facebook stuff is simply drivel and high school classmates posting stuff of which I have zero interest, but a little curation of the newsfeed does wonders to correct that.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

8. I have very high privacy settings.

Because I hang out in the science fiction world, go to a few cons each year, I have become acquainted with any number of well known, at least with in the field, authors. If I send them a friend request, or even if I send a friend request to someone I used to know a long time ago, I will always also send a message on FB, telling them who I am, how I know them, and that I will not take offense if they do not accept my request.

More than once I've been gratified by "Of COURSE I remember you, Poindexter," which really makes my day every time.

More recently I sent a friend request and message to someone who accepted the request, but messaged back that he wasn't sure he remembered me. I responded with information about our previous acquaintance, and after a bit he knew who I was. However, had he not responded at all I'd have been at best mildly disappointed.

[True Dough]

9. I'm with you, PoindexterOglethorpe

I have three friends from high school as friends on FB because we were all close back then. One of those friends has "friended" almost everyone from school and started "recommending" friends to me via FB. I told him I have absolutely no interest in being virtual buddies with these people who had little to no meaning in my life back then.

It's impossible to put a singular reason on what motivates some people to add anyone and everyone as a Facebook friend, but some people treat it like a competition and want to drive up their numbers as high as possible.

Not me.

[pnwmom]

10. If I get one from a friend I know, I'll message that person and ask

how well they know the person and if they think I should accept a friend request. And my pre-existing friends have been honest with me: "no, don't bother, I don't really know that person." "Yeah, I've known her for 30 years, you'll like her," etc.

[OhZone]

11. I've been cutting down on FB.

A lot of my friends and relatives have too.

[VarryOn]

12. I'm going on 3 months without FB...

And its been no problem. I dont miss it. And with 2020 approaching, I certainly wont miss it!!

[The Wizard]

13. Do a little vetting.

Go to the person's page and click on a tab marked "More" A drop down menu will appear. Click on About, Groups, Likes, TV Shows. You'll get some background on the Friend Request.

[Return to Sanity]

14. As a 60+ YO I am astonished at how many 20-something girls in tight tee shirts

and short shorts keep wanting to friend me. I suspect many of them may be related to the Nigerian Prince that keeps emailing me to give me money.

[Sherman A1]

16. Ah, Yes!

She is that tall girl, that’s really short and sooooooo wants to be your bestest buddy. I think I heard from her and her cousins more than once.

[DFW]

17. My wife gets a drowned in friend requests

My wife gets something like a dozen requests a week. She has a photo up there that is pretty much representative of her comely self, and the friend requests come mostly from what appear to be single American men (a few from the Middle East) touting their military backgrounds. Maybe if they knew that her dad got a leg blown off in a war, and she is a passionate pacifist, they'd back off, but she doesn't mention that. Now her profile clearly says she married to me, but this doesn't appear to hinder any of these guys from tying. Maybe they hit on every woman whose picture they like, and hope to get that one out of a thousand who will respond (and not be a Russian hooker or a Nigerian scam center).

I get far less (ha! there ARE advantages to not looking like Tom Cruise) requests, and many are from people I do know or have known, but just do not want contact with. On the other hand, I did connect with a Swedish friend I knew in the sixties, before I even knew his language. So there was that, and since that was his last visit to North America, my Swedish is now better than his English (by HIS admission!). But I don't even look at new friend requests more than once a month. Hell, I don't even open Facebook more than once or twice a week.