So Who Has Had A Coffee Enema?

[ProudLib72]

Lots of information out there. Lots of pros and cons... some say it can kill you.


And then Florida Man had to get in on it: Java to Go: Couple Addicted to Coffee Enemas

Some people say they're addicted to coffee, but a couple in Florida has taken their coffee habit to a whole new level: coffee enemas.

Mike and Trina, who declined to give their last names (for reasons that may be obvious), are so hooked on coffee enemas that they use them to cleanse their colons at least four times daily, though Trina admitted using them up to 10 times in a single day, according to ABC News.

"I love the way it makes me feel," Trina told ABC News. "It gives me a sense of euphoria." Both she and Mike work from home — otherwise, their frequent enemas might not be possible. https://www.livescience.com/27011-coffee-enema-alcohol-enema.html

That's why I am turning to all the experts here on DU for advice about coffee enemas. Can I just go down to the Starbucks and order one up? Maybe this is a good use for the very patriotic new tRump straw?

[at140]

1. Only good enema is HHH

(I got that from my wife who was a nurse)
It means High, Hot and Hell of a lot.
Note: in the old days the enema was administered via a long rubber tube,
one end in your rectum and the other connected to a pot at higher level
and full of hot water+salt+oil

[LuckyCharms]

2. Who hasn't?

[Sneederbunk]

3. Florida? Should have known.

[calguy]

4. The thread contains waaaaay too much info.

I may have nightmares tonight just from clicking on it. OMG!

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

10. With friends like these, who needs enemas?

[Blue Owl]

5. Starbucks coffee tastes like ass

n/t

[ProudLib72]

15. It's used enema water anyway

[True Dough]

6. Is this related somehow?

[ProudLib72]

16. No

"Magic Bean" refers to the clitoris. I'm pretty sure that's what it means. This is miles away from the area I want to discuss.

[True Dough]

20. Good

so I didn't make an ass of myself!

[Revanchist]

21. Actually it's only a few inches away

[Arkansas Granny]

7. Cream and sugar or black?

[Niagara]

8. The bottom line here is that

Coffee is a natural laxative just by consuming it orally, like a normal person.


Some people have too much time on their hands or backs

[PoliticAverse]

9. "admitted using them up to 10 times in a single day," - yes, you can be addicted to anything.

And caffeine is a drug.

[jberryhill]

11. Why can't Starbucks just sell a normal cup of coffee?

[Bayard]

12. Kind of like spilling hot coffee in your lap.....

Only different.

[Laffy Kat]

19. You might be up all night.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. Thanks, I'll stick to ingesting coffee from the top end.

...the most common side effects of colon cleansing are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and abdominal pain. Depending on the solution used, patients can experience a serious loss of electrolytes — and coffee enemas are linked to potassium depletion.

Medical conditions such as kidney and liver failure, air emboli, rectal perforations, blood infections, colitis (inflammation of the colon) and death from dysentery can also result from colon cleansing.

[ProudLib72]

17. But there were pictures!

Yes, pictures of all the parasites that came out after people had a coffee enema. Lots of parasites. Made me wonder where the hell these people lived that they were getting so many parasites.

[Revanchist]

22. They probably weren't parasites

There's a good chance that they caused the lining of their intestines/colon to slough off and not being trained medical professionals had know idea what they were looking at.

[ProudLib72]

23. Whatever they were, they were gross enough that I resisted posting them

It did make me wonder, though, if the coffee might affect parasites (if a person truly had them.) I mean, you think about how they sold diet pills that were made of tapeworm larvae. At some point, you have to get those things out! *


* No, I am not making this up. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/woman-swallows-tapeworm-iowa_n_3780313

[sagesnow]

14. Please refer all questions to the helpful DUers in this thread:

A free referral just for you from the good folks of DU:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181242213

[ProudLib72]

18. Whaddaya think got me going on this thread?

[backtoblue]

24. You're grounded!

[ProudLib72]

25. Why is my enema thread not getting any recs?

I mean, this serious, need to know stuff right here! It's at least as important as the thread a month ago on anus bleaching.

[Midnight Writer]

26. They opened a coffee enema place in my rural hometown. They got shut down by Feds.

I think the major issue was they were "treating" cancer patients and telling them the coffee enema cured cancer.

[Generic Brad]

27. I've never had them simultaneously

I’ve had coffee I’ve had an enema. I’ve never had a coffee enema.

[dalton99a]

28. The enema couple:

[ProudLib72]

30. Gee Dalton, I'm sooooo glad you found that!

The only thing this thread was missing was a visual.

[dalton99a]

32. Well, whatever makes them poop

Last edited Sun Jul 21, 2019, 01:51 AM - Edit history (1)

Mike and Trina are both addicted to coffee enemas. They like to tweet and play games while waiting for it to run its course. They can't imagine life without it.

[ProudLib72]

33. What would happen if they couldn't work from home?

Think of the logistics. They are addicted to coffee enemas, so how is that going to go down during the job interviews?

Mike: "Do you have a coffee machine that can make 32 ounces of coffee at a time?"

Boss: "Uh, yes we do, but why is that so important to you?"

Mike: "I'm addicted to coffee enemas."

Boss: "Coffee WHAT?!?!"

Mike: "Coffee enemas. They get me through the day. I will require a cubicle with a toilet and at least two full buckets of coffee per day."

Boss: "I'm not sure we can accommodate that..."

[dalton99a]

34. LOL. "Mike, you want a cup of coffee?"

"No, thanks, I just had my enema."

[samnsara]

39. mike and trina need help asap

[denbot]

29. Seeing as coffee makes me poop..

A coffee enema sounds a little explosive to me.

[YOHABLO]

31. Remember when people use to say 'Oh for crying outloud' ?... Oh for crying out loud !!

[Historic NY]

35. Sounds like a pain in the ass....

have you consulted with a proctologist, I'm sure he could fill you in.

[emmaverybo]

36. Enemas can introduce infections, perforation, and kill you if you have appendicitis. Should be

administered professionally and for certain conditions, not .Willy hilly and foreign unsterile substances should not be in them.

[TEB]

37. Coffee with skim milk

Is my choice

[samnsara]

38. decaf or regular?