Allow me to be old and cranky for a moment

[spinbaby]

When I was growing up, back in the Jurassic, it was understood that certain occasions called for dressing nicely. Not dressing up so much as dressing neatly and appropriately. I was at a funeral today with people dressed in ripped jeans, logo t-shirts, shorts, flip flops, etc., like they saw no difference between going to Walmart and respecting the departed.

[Anon-C]

1. Old and cranky? Tasteful and classy is more like it.

But that ship has sailed. You see it all these days. Literally.

[MuseRider]

2. It is odd but as I get older

I find I am accepting of the ease of this happening. I remember getting dressed like for church to go to the movie theater including the white gloves and hats for the women. We also applauded the end of everything from the documentary to the cartoon to the movie.

I was never so happy as I was when the traditional white gloves began to fade out. When I went to college in 1971 it was the first year women were allowed on campus without white gloves.

[3catwoman3]

27. Good grief - what school did you attend?

I started college in 1969, and nary a white glove in sight.

We were not allowed to wear pants in high school. Dresses or skirts only. And they couldn't be too short.

[MuseRider]

30. City University

in Kansas. I went to a campus style high school. No jeans, we had to come in dresses or skirts with nice shoes with small heels. When it dropped to below 0 we were allowed to wear pants to walk between the buildings but had to take them off for class. It sucked.

[Sherman A1]

3. +1000

I believe that a funeral requires a jacket and tie for the men and a dress or suit for the ladies attending.

[True Blue American]

6. At thevery least

Last edited Sun Sep 8, 2019, 03:29 AM - Edit history (1)

Nice shirt and dress pants for men at the least nice slacks and blouse for women.

I have seen them in skimpy tops, too short skirts but like the other poster said, that is gone

[Sherman A1]

11. I understand your point of view

But, I’m sticking with my original answer coat and tie, dress or suit.

I’m just as casual as the next guy in shorts and a t-shirt, but a wedding or a funeral is a coat and tie.

[True Blue American]

18. Funny you should say that

Last edited Sun Sep 8, 2019, 12:32 PM - Edit history (1)

A good friend of mine is always in a suit, white shirt and tie. I remarked how nice he always looked. His answer? ” I feel you should always present your best to the Lord!

So I guess that puts you in the category as my friend. My husband loved dressing up. Time and place.

And the way some people dress annoys me. I think it is disrespectful.

[Sherman A1]

19. I am just old school I suppose

and it was what I was trained to do as a kid. As to the Lord, well I'm not much of a believer in that respect, however I do believe in respecting the event I am attending.

[True Blue American]

21. I just thought it

Was a nice answer.

Going to Church has been a hard one for me. I left a Southern Baptist. Was lucky enough to find one close to me that simply teaches love and inclusion of all.

That fits my Democratic nature.

[sinkingfeeling]

4. I'm with you on this.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. Dressing up - or at least making a minimal effort to put on clothes

that don't look like they were collected from a dumpster - is an indication of respect for an occasion or a person being honored. You make that little extra effort because you give a damn. I'm glad we no longer have to wear white gloves and hats for dress-up occasions, but t-shirts and flip-flops at a funeral? Were those people raised by wolves?

[Siwsan]

7. My cousin showed up at our aunt's burial service, dressed in cargo shorts and a ratty t-shirt

He's considerably older than me (in his 70's!!!!) and should have known better. To me, it was far and away beyond disrespectful.

[True Blue American]

22. Trump fan?:)

[Siwsan]

25. Unfortunately, yes.

He's a high school grad who's draft lottery number never quite scored. He went to work for GM, in the facilities maintenance department, got married, had 2 kids, got divorced, retired, and now spends his days either at the library, using the computer (he refuses to buy one), watching Fox "News" or making his poor brother's life a complete misery. (The brother, who lives with him, is an honorably discharged Vietnam era Air Force vet who suffers from some military related health issues, and is a liberal. He was never in combat but served in some sort of security post that he still can't discuss.)

Oh, and the trump* worshiping cousin thinks one of the biggest mistakes this country ever made was giving women the vote. Needless to say, that view doesn't sit well with this female Navy veteran.

I now only see this cousin if he decides to join us, at the holidays. He will only show up if we all agree to NOT discuss politics because he knows he's the only trump*ster who will be in attendance.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. This brought to mind my niece's wedding a few years ago.

It wasn't a super formal affair, but everyone was dressed up as one would be for a wedding - except for the husband of the bridesmaid (the bride's sister), whom we really do suspect was raised by wolves. He accompanied his dressed-to-the-nines wife wearing a wrinkled white shirt, no tie, unbuttoned at the neck and not even tucked into his pants, which were also wrinkled, and work boots. Why she let him out of the house looking like that is beyond me, but I guess she must be used to him dressing like that and didn't want an argument. "He doesn't like to dress up," was the eye-rolled explanation I got from the bride's mother.

[Skittles]

9. it's not being old and cranky

it's just courtesy, which apparently is now not so common

[Control-Z]

10. It's funny (not haha), I instantly thought of

a funeral (before I read the part about it being one in your OP) where my son was a pallbearer. The funeral was for his best friend and I expected him and all the other boys to be dressed nicely. My son was the only one (though, still not as well as I had wanted). I bought a navy pants-suit for myself and black slacks and a white long sleeve button down shirt for my son.

The boy's mother was devastated, of course. But she didn't have a problem with the boys' attire, as far as I could tell, as her older son was one of the dressed down pallbearers.

Obviously I kept these thoughts to myself.

[eppur_se_muova]

12. Was anyone barefoot ?

I attended a funeral where the 18-yo (or so) pregnant girlfriend of one of the 50-yo guys in bib overalls and feed cap evidently considered shoes optional.

[NNadir]

23. Now that sounds like an interesting funeral, worthy of my ex-brother.

[JDC]

13. It feels a little disrespectful, unless the deceased was a big fan of casual

And dressing down is in conformance with prescribed or assumed wishes.

When I go, I plan to not care I suppose, but in the meantime, I'm more of a traditionalist, like you.

[captain queeg]

14. I remember my wife telling me about some sci-fi story and everyone was in space age garb

Think about it, in any sort of futurist story did anyone picture everyone in shorts, t-shirts, floppies, etc? Certainly have missed the mark on clothing.

[jpak]

15. Youngin's are always different and always annoy their elders - you were probably no different

Just go with the flow and be happy the youngin's are there.

Funerals without restless/wild/inappropriate young'ins are no fun at all.

and this

[spinbaby]

20. Not only the youngsters

Even some my age and older were dressed inappropriately. Maybe this is a cultural thing, I don’t know.

[Aristus]

16. I'm of two minds on the subject.

On the one hand, as a clothes-horse myself, I have a yen for the Rat-Pack days, when seemingly everyone dressed to the nines all the time.

Then I remember: everyone back then smoked like it was going out of style.

They probably smelled terrible, no matter how terrific they looked.

The truth is, I'll take someone who's well-groomed instead, no matter how casually they're dressed.

[Wounded Bear]

17. It might depend on how well they knew the deceased...

and whether maybe he put in a "last request" to "don't dress up for my funeral, dress like you did when you knew me."

I could see that, I guess.

For myself, I'd dress like you do.

[GemDigger]

26. And how hot it is during the funeral.

At 98 degrees with 80% humidity in the scorching sun with no shade and a lot of elders and people with health conditions, I say dress so you won't pass out or get heat stroke. The person we lost will appreciate you being there in this heat.

[Fla Dem]

24. I don't know about a suit and tie, or a dress and heels, but if you're going to pay your respects,

then your attire should reflect that respect. If you don't have the energy or motivation to put on clean decent clothes, then don't bother.

[Crafty Girl]

28. I think a lot of younger people

don't even own dress up clothes now. An investment in a suit that they will wear once or twice to a funeral is a bit too much to ask of people with student loans and a minimum wage job.

[Fla Dem]

33. I pretty much said a suit, tie or dress while nice, not necessary.

But surely a clean pair of slacks and a sports shirt should be in their wardrobe. I’m really not sure what you would consider appropriate. Hopefully not hip hanging shorts, a t-shirt and sandals.

[Crafty Girl]

34. Yes, I know you said that.

I was just thinking of my DH's nephew who didn't own a collared shirt to wear to his own father's funeral.

[SocialMediaInfluenza]

29. The country's gone to shit

Obama's fault, obviously.

[littlemissmartypants]

31. Maybe, if people could earn a living wage, weren't constantly

Stressed out about making ends meet and buying groceries, paying rent and having gas money, they could make the effort. But even then you might be looking at ball gowns with Doc Martins. So...
look for good hearts and sweet souls and not designer labels and suffer less disappointment.

Eminence Front The Who

The sun shines
And people forget
The spray flies as the speedboat glides
And people forget
Forget they're hiding
The girls smile
And people forget
The snow packs as the skier tracks
People forget
Forget they're hiding
Behind an eminence front
Eminence front, it's a put on
It's an eminence front
It's an eminence front, it's a put on
An eminence front
Eminence front, it's a put on
Eminence front
It's an eminence front
It's an eminence front, it's a put on
It's a put on, it's a put on, it's a put on
Come and join the party
Dress to kill
Won't you come and join the party
Dress to kill, dress to kill
Drinks flow
People forget
That big wheel spins, the hair thins
People forget
Forget they're hiding
The news slows
People forget
Their shares crash, hopes are dashed
People forget
Forget they're hiding
Behind an eminence front
An eminence front, it's a put on
It's just an eminence front
An eminence front, it's a put on
An eminence front
An eminence front, it's a put on
Eminence front
It's an eminence front, it's a put on
It's a put on, it's a put on, it's a put on
Come on join the party
Dress to
Come on join the party
Dress to
Come on join the party
Dress to
Come on join the party
Dress to kill
Dress yourself, dressed to kill
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Peter Dennis Blandfor Townshend
Eminence Front lyrics © Spirit Music Group

[KY_EnviroGuy]

32. Old-fashioned here, too. I think it's what we're comfortable with.

I still shave and dress neatly just to go to the store.

Suit coat and tie for funerals and weddings out of respect but may forgo the tie.

And, I still polish those shoes and hold the door for the ladies.

Those things still make me feel good about myself and that's good because damn few other things do these days.

KY...........