My wife just left me. She thinks I'm too insecure.

[NightWatcher]

Wait she's back, she just went to get groceries. Never mind.



Heard on the xm comedy channel and almost sprayed RedBull all over myself.

[Karadeniz]

1. Thanks, we needed that ❤

[Jewls2]

2. That was funny.

[braddy]

3. Good one.

[Binkie The Clown]

4. I'm terrible at remembering names.

My wife what's-her-name tells me that all the time.

[NightWatcher]

5. My wife tells me I never listen. Or was going on a mission. Or was busy in the kitchen.

What were you saying?

[UTUSN]

6. Ya got me!1 Was going to say, well if you run to an internet board...

[Major Nikon]

7. I get this from my dogs every day

I suspect every time I leave they are convinced this time it's forever.