1. Buy a turkey.
2. If it's frozen start thawing in the fridge on Monday.
3. Make stuffing. I'm fond of Pepperidge Farm, and I use some combination of cornbread, cubed, and herbed seasoning. Whatever your preferred stuffing is, that's perfect.
4. Rinse the bird under cold water. Take out the giblets, neck, and whatever other dreck is inside the bird.*
5. Stuff the bird. I hope you prepared the dressing early enough that it's no longer hot. There are two places to stuff, and do them both. Oh, and the notion that cooking the stuffing inside the turkey can lead to terrible things happening, is just bullshit. Ignore it.
6. Smear butter, and I mean butter not margarine, over the bird.
7. Put it inside a pre-heated 300 degree oven.
8. I'm hoping your bird has one of those pop-up thermometers. They are wonderful.
9. Check in on the bird every so often. If the wings seems to be browning more than you want, cover with foil. You can also cover the entire bird with foil early on. Just be sure to leave an opening for the thermometric to pop up.
Here's another topic entirely. What do you bake it in? I know most people today use those awful aluminum pans. But let me tell you a story. Many years ago, around 1991 or so, I went looking for an aluminum pan for my Thanksgiving Day turkey, and weirdly enough, they had all been bought up already. This was the day before T-Day. So I went to something along the lines of Bed Bath and Beyond (maybe that specific franchise, maybe something else similar, I don't recall) and they didn't have aluminum pans, but they did have real baking pans. I bought one. It is of some kind of solid metal and has a solid metal rack. As I recall, it cost me $75.00. I want to tell you that was the very best seventy-five dollars I ever spent. The dark metal holds heat in a way the flimsy aluminum pans can't begin to imagine. Plus, the turkey was above the bottom of the pan on a rack. Shall I share that it cooked up in about half the time I'd expected? It did.
So forget about the aluminum pans and buy a real one. Trust me, it's worth it.
Let's see, $75 divided by about 25 years so far. That's three bucks a year. I have no idea what the aluminum pans cost, and even if they are a dollar or less, trust me, the quality of the end product is vastly worth it.
Back to the dinner.
About an hour before you think it will be ready, peel potatoes. Open a can of yams and dump into a pyrex dish. Sprinkle some brown sugar on them. I like peas, so at this point I open a bag of frozen peas and put into a pot. Do the same with whatever vegetables you like.
Fifteen minutes before the turkey comes out of the oven, start boiling the potatoes. If you happen to use a pressure cooker (I don't, so I don't know enough about them) make the appropriate changes.
When the turkey comes out, it will need to sit for about fifteen minutes. Then take the stuffing out and put into a serving dish.
Some fifteen minutes later, whoever is assigned to carve the turkey can start carving.
Around this time the potatoes should be properly boiled. Mash them. I recommend using cream cheese, along with half and half and some butter as the flavoring/mashing elements.
Make gravy.
Whatever other vegetables you're cooking should be done by now.
Dish up everything and have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Back in the day, when my sons were little, about every six or so weeks I'd bake a turkey. Usually in the middle of the week. I did not make as many side dishes on Thanksgiving. Sometimes I'd stuff, sometimes not. There would always be mashed potatoes and gravy. Sometimes sweet potatoes, sometimes peas. It varied. The point was the wonderfulness of turkey.
I want to encourage people to make turkey more than once or twice a year. It really isn't hard and it's WONDERFUL!!
* Last year I actually had Thanksgiving with a friend who had apparently NEVER baked a turkey before and didn't know to take those things out. Really? Not to mention this friend was in her forties.
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