My niece was found dead tonight

[csziggy]

This is the one who with my sister, her mother, treated Mom horribly when Dad was dying back in 2013. I have not spoken to either of them since then, but it is still a shock.

She was a hypochondriac and years ago bragged about how she used different names to get drugs and hospital care without paying. The last time I saw her, she dropped her purse and dozens of prescription pill bottles fell out. She'd go doctor shopping to get different drugs for her various ailments.

It's not yet known what she died of. Her brother went by to check on her and when he couldn't get a response, called the police who gained entry and found her. Apparently she'd been dead for at least a couple of days.

Her mother is on a cruise off of Spain. Her husband is in Morocco where his mother is dying.

I'm stunned. I worry about how her brother will handle this since he was left "in charge" of his older, mentally unstable sister.

[JoeOtterbein]

1. I'm so sorry.

Tears.

[csziggy]

3. Thank you

Even though I never got along with my sister or her oldest daughter, I still will mourn her death.

[JoeOtterbein]

6. I understand.

Life is so complicated sometimes.

Please take care.

[mopinko]

2. oh my. so sorry. so hard to deal w

complications like this. sad enough when people die, but when it leads to finger pointing, it makes everything so hard. so messy.

best to all, esp that brother.

[csziggy]

9. I hope my nephew can get help

He will need it to deal with the situation. He is too young to lose a sibling.

My other sister, the one I do talk to, was planning to drive to Orlando to be with him. She's the one in my generation who was left to clean up messes. I hope she can be a comfort to him.

Thank you.

[sheshe2]

4. I am so sorry for your whole family.

May your niece rest in peace now.

[Lefta Dissenter]

5. I don't even know what to say.

I’m so terribly sorry. There’s so much heartache in that story. I hope your family can find some sense of comfort and that there are memories that you will treasure in your heart.

[csziggy]

15. Right now all I can think is that she will not stir up any more trouble

I know that sounds hard but there is a long history of severe problems with her, even when she was a child. She was never a sweet or good child.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised she'd be found dead under odd circumstances.

[Lefta Dissenter]

17. Sometimes

Sometimes all you can do is focus on the here and now - on the survivors. It sounds like she was destined to walk her path of pain. Whatever you can do to help to provide peace to those most affected, including yourself, will reduce the ripple effects of the loss.

Again, I am so sorry.

[csziggy]

20. Thanks

The best thing I can do is to stay away. There is too much bad blood so me going down will just cause problems that no one needs.

The sister I do talk to is going up to help out our nephew. She was trying to figure out how to contact our niece's husband in Morocco. Since he now has a green card, I suggested she contact the State Department - I think they may be able to help with finding him. That sister is the person who is responsible for everyone now that our parents are gone, so I tend to listen to her talk about the problems and try to help her find solutions.

At least the other niece is still in the country. She works for non-governmental agencies and has been working to get a visa to help refugees in Ukraine. She's scheduled to leave in January. I'm not sure she will go down either, since she had a lot of problems with her sister, too much to talk about here. But at least she's in reach to let know. She would be a comfort to her brother but she won't talk to her mother at all.

[UTUSN]

7. My shock for you.

[handmade34]

8. so sorry...

[shenmue]

10. Very sorry

[tymorial]

11. I'm really sorry for you and your family

No matter the dysfunction or separation, they are still your family. You have my deepest sympathies.

[FeelingBlue]

12. I'm very sorry

For the degradation of these relationships and for the passing of your niece. If your niece was into drugs, then no brother, sister, parent or friend could have stopped this sad ending. I hope her brother can know this. And, frankly, if death is at all likely, does one cruise, passing along responsibility to another young person?! There had better be no recriminations. Wishing you all comfort and peace.

[csziggy]

16. Well the mental problems my niece had can be directly traced to her mother

My younger sister is a malignant narcissist, always has been. When her daughter began having mental problems in her preteen years, she refused to get treatment for her because "what would our friends think?" It's not surprising to me that she went off and left the most vulnerable of her children in charge of making sure that niece was OK.

Of my sister's four children, her second daughter has not spoken to her in over ten years. Her third child is the son left in charge. Her youngest son has serious problems of his own and would never be left in charge of anything by anyone with any sense.

I think the niece thought that since all the drugs she used were prescribed, she'd be OK. She was never very smart about things - any thing. She needed help a long time ago and never got it. That is the part I regret.

[2naSalit]

13. That's terrible!

[Laffy Kat]

14. OMG, I am so sorry.

How horrible. Your family and extended family are going through so much right now.

[3catwoman3]

18. Such a sad and complicated tale.

Wishing you strength if your nephew turns to you for support.

[smirkymonkey]

19. I am so sorry to hear that csziggy.

I know that she probably had a lot of problems, but I assume she was a tortured soul. My condolences to you and your family.

[cate94]

21. I'm so very sorry.

[RestoreAmerica2020]

22. Sorry for you loss.

paz.

[aeromanKC]

23. I'm so sorry for her mother and her husband

I sure hope her husband's mother is OK and he can see her again.

[Hekate]

24. I am so sorry, csziggy. It's a wrench to lose a famly member, even a problematic one...

All the might-have-beens arise, all the consciousness of a life wasted. At least, may your niece be at peace now.

[csziggy]

25. Thank you. I hope you are right and she is at peace

And I hope the family can get answers that will help them be at peace.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

26. How dreadful for you and your family, my dear csziggy...

Please take care of yourself...

My condolences on this dreadful loss...

[StevieM]

27. I am so sorry for your loss.

May she rest in peace.

[onecaliberal]

28. My condolences to you and your family.

[Aussie105]

29. Condolances.

The shock is great, I know.
Lost my son from an Oxycontin overdose.
I speak nothing negative about the dead, I rule I stick to. Try to remember her good points.

[CaptainTruth]

30. Dear lord ... you have all my sympathy ...

[murielm99]

31. I am very sorry.

[DarthDem]

32. Very sorry to hear this.

Sorry for your loss.

[lunatica]

33. Families can be such a complication on each other

It’s very sad to have someone’s life end on a downward spiral. I hope her brother is OK. I hope you’ll OK too. Hugs to you.

[democrank]

34. So sorry.

[Fla Dem]

35. Gosh, what a tragic, messed up situation. Nephew shouldn't blame himself.

It was the Mother who took off on a cruise and left her unstable daughter. I'm sure that even if you were not on the best of terms with your sister and niece, there's still a sadness. I'm sorry for the family.

[csziggy]

36. Thank you

Just talked to my older sister (not the mother). There will be an autopsy, of course, since she died not under medical supervision.

We both think there was probably not an overdose but that years of taking multiple medications from multiple doctors may have overwhelmed her system. Her brother tried to get her to go to a hospital the last time they talked. She refused, partly because she owed so much to the various hospitals in the region. <sigh>

[Fla Dem]

37. I hear stories like this and think how very lucky I and my family have been.

We have a fairly large extended family. To the best of my knowledge, there has been almost no issues of drug use, alcohol abuse or other activities that can tear a family apart. At least in the first couple of layers of generations; sister, brothers, grandchildren nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles. So fortunate.

I hope you and your family find peace over the upcoming holiday season and in the New Year.

[csziggy]

38. Our family has had enough tragedy - we need some good news

Hopefully that will come soon.

Thank you.

[Celerity]

39. so sorry to her, I hope it all works out for the best outcome for you and your family

[Skittles]

40. I am so sorry, csziggy

[csziggy]

41. Thank you, Skittles

Good news is, her family is gathering from all over Europe. Her mom was on a ship off of Spain, husband was in Morocco and flying home via France, sister is flying home from Ukraine, where she had just arrived to start a new post.

Cousins are coming from Boston and Tampa.

No word on funeral - there will be an autopsy. That's good since we don't know what she died of.

I'm glad Mom didn't live to see this. It almost killed her when my oldest sister died. And when this girl's father died, Mom took it very hard, too. To lose a grandchild would have been unbearable.

[Skittles]

42. and it's tougher around the holidays

I know - my brother died the day before Thanksgiving (years ago)

[csziggy]

43. Yeah - there have been a lot of deaths on birthdays in our family

It really sucks for the person whose birthday it is to have a loved one died that day. So far in our family it hasn't happened on a holiday.

Yesterday was my oldest nephew's birthday - son of the sister who died in 1993. He was delivered (caesarean) the day before Thanksgiving. His mother died the day after his brother's birthday when he turned six - she was on a ventilator and they kept her "alive" so she wouldn't pass on his birthday, technically.

My little sister's husband died on her birthday - and their anniversary.

[Skittles]

44. omg csziggy, hoo boy do I know

my dad shot himself in the head three days before my birthday, and died six days later

[csziggy]

45. Oh, man, that had to be rough

Glad you survived with a sense of humor. We all need it at times like these and our friends.

[Skittles]

46. I know it sounds like a cliche

but.......life goes on; you can either let the demons get to you or you can accept and move on....I do think some families seem to bear the brunt of tragedies much more so than others, it's the luck of the draw I guess

[Demovictory9]

47. how sad

[sakabatou]

48. :(