Making fun cop speak with my best friend.
Sitting drinking beer. Watching rescue 911 or some shit. He suddenly belches, crushes his empty on his forehead and hurls it at the TV.
Wanna talk about it big guy? I asked.
WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS THIS "ADVISED" HORSESHIT? WHY NOT" TOLD " OR "SAID " OR THEY ARE MAKING A STATEMENT SO JUST SAY THE SUBJECT "STATED" THUS AND SUCH . I ADVISE THEM THAT I HAVE A HEMORRHOID HANGING FROM MY ASS AND I ADVISE THEM THAT THEY CAN SUCK THE SHIT OFF OF IT! THEY THINK THEY ARE SOUNDING ALL MILITARY WITH THIS CRAP, AND IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF TV COP SHOW BULLSHIT!
Okaaaaaaay......
So naturally we spent the next hour or so imagining what we could advise the cops of that they would faithfully record in official reports.
I advised the officer that my penis was so long that there is a 10 second delay between bladder release and initial splash.
I don't think we ever topped his initial scatological outburst, but we had fun trying. It all ended with us getting yelled at by our wives for being too loud. We tried advising them that it was all in good fun, but they weren't self important douches so they weren't having any of it.
Feel free to add what you would advise popo of in the Hope's of making it official.
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