HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » The DU Lounge (Forum) » I need one of these signs

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 07:50 PM

I need one of these signs

21 replies, 3487 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 21 replies Author Time Post
Reply I need one of these signs (Original post)
Wicked Blue Dec 2020 OP
OAITW r.2.0 Dec 2020 #1
Trueblue Texan Dec 2020 #2
Blue Owl Dec 2020 #3
hlthe2b Dec 2020 #4
drmeow Dec 2020 #5
AZ8theist Dec 2020 #14
PoliticAverse Dec 2020 #6
Wicked Blue Dec 2020 #7
soldierant Dec 2020 #18
PoliticAverse Dec 2020 #20
BigmanPigman Dec 2020 #8
Mickju Dec 2020 #9
birdographer Dec 2020 #11
BigmanPigman Dec 2020 #17
Collimator Dec 2020 #10
marlakay Dec 2020 #15
Wicked Blue Dec 2020 #21
niyad Dec 2020 #12
2naSalit Dec 2020 #13
Danascot Dec 2020 #16
RainCaster Dec 2020 #19

Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 08:00 PM

1. Payable in cash, upfront.

You want 5 minutes? Cost you $100.00. No negotiations. LOL.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 08:03 PM

2. this reminds me of my "Witness Protection" sign...

...I used to hang outside the front door when my kids were growing up. I got fed up with evangelicals and Jehovah Witnesses proselytizing to my children when I wasn't home or when the kids were out in public like the mall or the library. I put a sign up by the door that basically told them we had heard all their witness bullshit already and they were not welcome to share it with us again and if that's what they were there for, to just turn around and go on to the next address. No one ever stopped to witness at my house again. Very effective.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 08:11 PM

3. K&R

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 08:13 PM

4. Love it!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 08:15 PM

5. I once lectured a pair of (if I remember correctly) Mormons

about how it was insulting (among other things) for them basically come to my door to tell me that I was wrong and they were right. The older/more senior of the two kept a serene slightly smug look on her face the whole time (I could see her thinking to her self "but its true) until I said "and its not very Christian of you, either." The flash of rage her eyes was well worth having opened the door in the first place! Deeply satisfying!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to drmeow (Reply #5)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 10:20 PM

14. We used to get Mormons all the time....

We have a "NO SOLICITING" sign above the doorbell. They always claimed "We aren't soliciting"

I finally got rid of them permanently by explaining to them how they've been LIED TO their entire lives by their parents and clergy.

Believe me, as an atheist, I can counter ANY ARGUMENT they put forward. They finally left in frustration and never came back.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink



Response to PoliticAverse (Reply #6)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 09:01 PM

7. Nice! nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to PoliticAverse (Reply #6)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 11:33 PM

18. I need one that says "Leaving literature is soliciting.

The charge for that is $100.00 per flyer. Please fasten the currency securely to the flyer."

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to soldierant (Reply #18)

Tue Dec 22, 2020, 11:22 AM

20. When I lived in New York City there were so many takeout restaraunts in some areas...

that would leave takeout menu flyers outside people's doors that "no menus" was a very popular door sign.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 09:10 PM

8. Too bad they don't have that for the hundreds of robot calls I get each week.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to BigmanPigman (Reply #8)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 09:25 PM

9. Good God, yes!

I would love something like that.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to BigmanPigman (Reply #8)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 09:52 PM

11. OMG please

It doesn't even make sense to bother blocking them since they pick the numbers out of the white pages and so you would have to block basically every number in the country. Did you see the Letterman interview where he talked about bantering with them? He says his name is Larry and he plays along until they ask for a credit card number. Since he had no idea how many numbers were in a credit card, he starts with 6 numbers. Someone in the background says "We need more numbers" so he adds more. And they hang up on him. It was a funny interview. I'm pretty sure it was on a Kimmel.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to birdographer (Reply #11)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 11:28 PM

17. I may try that but I probably would

screw it up either laugh or yell at them.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 09:44 PM

10. Couple of thoughts here. . .

One, I have always been tempted to answer the door to the religious sorts while holding a bloody knife in my hand. (Friend even gave me some fake blood.)

"What do you want? I was right in the middle of a ritual! That goat ain't gonna sacrifice itself!"

Two, I thought of having my own little tracts/leaflets printed up. One would simply read: "You're practicing the wrong religion." One other was inspired by the appallingly youthful Mormon fellows who came to my door and announced themselves as "Elder" So-and-So.

"Hey, baby-face! Where do you get off trying to tell me about life? Come back when the warranty on your knees expires."

The only thing that I have ever done is put my fake, latex python on the porch. (His name was Monty, of course,) Unfortunately, he could not deter either the feral cats or the Jehovah's Witnesses in my neighborhood.

I have made a point of telling the religious visitors that I really, really know the Bible and have come to an informed decision on the subject. The cats were less than impressed by this.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Reply #10)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 10:40 PM

15. I never had the nerve but was tempted

To answer the door naked and say nothing just stand there. If they say anything I could say we are nudists here. I bet taken off list fast.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Reply #10)

Tue Dec 22, 2020, 12:14 PM

21. I have, when some demon or other possessed me

told a few of them:

"Sorry, we worship Satan here."

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 10:05 PM

12. I used to have a sign that read "no peddlers allowed. I don't care what you are hawking,

including religion. The dog doesn't bite. I do."

Rather effective.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 10:08 PM

13. Nice!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Mon Dec 21, 2020, 10:59 PM

16. "Oh yes, please come in! Come in!

I so much to tell you about all our amazing herbal supplements!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Wicked Blue (Original post)

Tue Dec 22, 2020, 01:32 AM

19. I used to tell the phone solicitors...

... "thank you so much for calling, nobody wants to talk to me since I filed for bankruptcy".

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread