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Thu Feb 25, 2021, 09:42 PM

Trump's Taxes Reveal He Claimed Ted Cruz as Dependent

Not the Onion!

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In the first major bombshell to emerge from the handover of Donald J. Trump’s tax returns, the Manhattan district attorney has announced that the former President claimed Senator Ted Cruz as a dependent.

Speaking to reporters, Cyrus Vance, Jr., said that listing the Texas senator as a dependent was “highly unorthodox, to say the least.”

“For this deduction to be allowed, we would certainly need some documentation proving that Mr. Trump had adopted Mr. Cruz, or something to that effect,” Vance added.

From his home in Palm Beach, Trump issued a terse rebuttal to Vance’s statement. “Ted Cruz is my little baby, and everyone knows it,” Trump said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trumps-taxes-reveal-he-claimed-ted-cruz-as-dependent

9 replies, 379 views

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Arrow 9 replies Author Time Post
Reply Trump's Taxes Reveal He Claimed Ted Cruz as Dependent (Original post)
Major Nikon Feb 25 OP
jmbar2 Feb 25 #1
WVreaper Feb 25 #2
DBoon Feb 25 #3
Major Nikon Feb 25 #5
DBoon Feb 25 #6
brewens Feb 25 #4
PJMcK Feb 25 #9
rurallib Feb 25 #7
Ka-Dinh Oy Feb 25 #8

Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 09:48 PM

1. What about baby Lindsay

Hasn't the adoption gone thru yet?

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Response to jmbar2 (Reply #1)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 09:49 PM

2. Twins

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 09:53 PM

3. You can only count humans as dependents

dogs don't count

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Response to DBoon (Reply #3)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 09:56 PM

5. Now you tell me

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #5)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 09:58 PM

6. Your dog accepts some useless piece of metal?

Damn, my dog insists on meat

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 09:55 PM

4. I hate to admit that today, I'd like to see some tweets from the former guy. It might be worth

letting him back on just for today.

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Response to brewens (Reply #4)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 10:25 PM

9. No, no and no

It's been cathartic not hearing Trump's childish whining.

I love that he's seething and can't vent to his public. I love it.

But I don't want to hear or see it.

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 10:00 PM

7. Adopted? Cruz is attached lips to ass

That has to be some kind of dependency

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Feb 25, 2021, 10:07 PM

8. Awww, donny and vladi had a baby.

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