The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsI suppose this means I have officially gained little ol' lady status.
When I sent a text to the guy who mows my yard today, he referred to me as "sweetie" in his reply. 👵👵👵
Kath2
(3,054 posts)And a wonderful poster here!
Arkansas Granny
(31,484 posts)You'll make me blush.
Kath2
(3,054 posts)You rock, Granny.
LakeArenal
(28,729 posts)Wha?
Arkansas Granny
(31,484 posts)LakeArenal
(28,729 posts)That was decades ago. Sigh.
elleng
(130,156 posts)elleng
(130,156 posts)'first' ol lady status sign was 'Ma'am,' and it's not going away. (I know folks are being polite, but it pisses me OFF!)
whathehell
(28,969 posts)is patronizing, in my opinion..I won't take it from anyone.
whathehell
(28,969 posts)is patronizing in my opinion. ...I would have set him straight.
Deuxcents
(15,785 posts)Some young kid called me sweetie not long ago and I told him I am not your sweetie and is that what your manager instructed you to say? I thought he was gonna trip on his tongue there for a minute..I have not been back
whathehell
(28,969 posts)It usually takes them back, but they stop, and sometimes apologize.
Arkansas Granny
(31,484 posts)whathehell
(28,969 posts)agingdem
(7,759 posts)when the checker at Target asked me if I needed a carry-out...I had one bag with two boxes of Kleenex...I told her I was good..
Siwsan
(26,177 posts)He's such a sweet, kind young man, always taking the time to talk with me and ask how I'm doing, and he remembers things from our past conversations, so I really don't mind.
whathehell
(28,969 posts)Croney
(4,646 posts)And luckily I live in a state (MA) where ma'am is not used much.
I'm trying to picture some guy calling Nancy Pelosi "sweetie"... ha
dameatball
(7,380 posts)irrelevant. I called them that for decades. It is a term of affection, not necessarily an assignment to little ol lady status.
On second thought, different situation perhaps.... I dunno.
whathehell
(28,969 posts)situation than being addressed that way by some stranger.
dameatball
(7,380 posts)whathehell
(28,969 posts)stopdiggin
(11,095 posts)(for which I think allowances should be made) Lots of rural people have been 'sweetheart'-ing everybody forever -- and it's not a sign of disrespect at all. Then in my neighborhood -- if somebody is trying to denigrate or disrespect you -- there's going to very little 'sugar' added to the lump at all.
whathehell
(28,969 posts)I never said the terms "sweetie", "honey", etc, were disrespectful in themselves -- It's a matter of context. I said that when delivered by YOUNGER people to OLDER people it's inappropriate and patronizing.
stopdiggin
(11,095 posts)If you feel like you're being patronized I suppose you have a right to umbrage. Everyone of course have a right to be addressed respectfully. On the other hand, it would seem like (looking up and down the string) there seems to be a range of opinion on whether this constitutes an affront -- or just casual usage.
(The more I sit and consider this -- and the fact that you introduce an 'age qualifier' as having some significance to the conversation -- the more convinced I become that we just fundamentally disagree on the most basic level here. But I respect your right to have your own opinion -- and especially as it regards your own interactions and relationships.)
----- -----
whathehell
(28,969 posts)It's hardly just me who "feels they're being patronized"..If you read the thread, and adjust for age and degree of acquaintance, you'll see that most of the women here feel as I do. Frankly, you sound like a male who' is either unfamiliar with, or unreceptive to, the issue of sexist language and behavior.
stopdiggin
(11,095 posts)but then I notice that you didn't much care for her take on the matter either. In fact, found time to get pretty much in her face about it. But, your right -- it must be a matter of people being unfamiliar ....
whathehell
(28,969 posts)Last edited Mon Apr 12, 2021, 05:35 PM - Edit history (1)
".but then I noticed that you didn't much care for her take on the matter
either. In fact took the time to pretty much 'get in her face about it"
Lol., no, I think it's pretty obvious, to the unbiased mind, at least, just who "doesn't much care" for whose take on things, to the point "of pretty much getting in their face about it".
True Dough
(17,096 posts)people who consider themselves seniors and don't know how to text or just cannot be bothered. So good for you for being text-friendly (not to mention DU and internet-friendly).
Delmette2.0
(4,143 posts)When my brother died my sister, mother and I went to the small town funeral home to see him and make plans to take him to the funeral home of Mom's choice.
The Funeral Director (we think he was drunk) addressed Mom as sweetie. This was an 80 year old woman, five foot -zero, hunched over from osteoporosis and grief. The second time he said sweetie, I was ready. I firmly with out yelling said "No, no, no! You will address her as Mrs.(last name)." Sister and Mom saw the anger on my face and were surprised that the quite little sister would erupt and basically tell an older man to STFU.
He had no professional manners. When we got to the funeral home of choice, we were asked about the prior one. We told them how rude and unprofessional he was. I hope some how the message goes passed along to the powers that be.
My message is that women don't have to take any condescending crap from men.
Fla Dem
(23,352 posts)A non family member, especially a male really has no business calling a woman sweetie .
whathehell
(28,969 posts)and well said. I'm glad you spoke up.
Phentex
(16,330 posts)was called all kinds of ugly names and told to fuck off. ALL because I said I found it condescending in many situations, even though I understand the name caller might not have bad intentions. It's just something that needs to go away as far as I'm concerned.
Delmette2.0
(4,143 posts)If those men with old attitudes cannot get with the current trend, then f*** them. Those men need to listen and watch current news and the opinions from the last 12-14 years.
Equal means equal. Not greater than or less than, just equal to!
whathehell
(28,969 posts)They may not be the best gauge of public opinion.
Phentex
(16,330 posts)nothing shocks me anymore.
dweller
(23,562 posts)but as a little old man, I had a nurse call me sweetie, as in just follow me sweetie (she was middle aged) and I didnt mind
I followed her like a puppy ... its been a long time since anyone called me
sweet anything
✌🏻
Arkansas Granny
(31,484 posts)As I said earlier, he has been mowing my yard for several years now, so it's not like he's a total stranger.
whathehell
(28,969 posts)and haven't had a lifetime of being talked down to by the opposite sex.
Arkansas Granny
(31,484 posts)whathehell
(28,969 posts)We've already had our little exchange, remember?
Arkansas Granny
(31,484 posts)whathehell
(28,969 posts)hamsterjill
(15,214 posts)You have arrived!!! LOL
zanana1
(6,085 posts)I am a little old lady and I don't mind being called honey or sweetie, but I hate being called "young lady". It's just so condescending.
whathehell
(28,969 posts)Those called the rest of us those things can expect to be corrected.