I'm struggling terribly with my impending empty nest! The binge eating is

[GPV]

ramping up the closer we get to younger son’s departure date next week. My anxiety doesn’t do well with unknowns and grey areas, and there are a lot here. He’s going to be with a girl he met online, whom I’ve sorta seen in passing on Zoom but never conversed with. He’s renting a room from a family that her father knows, but he can’t tell me where in the city it is.

My brain is very negative and can come up with every terrible possibility. I’m trying to be positive. He’s worked hard to save up to move there. They finally get to meet. He’ll have an amazing adventure in a beautiful city. But, the negative thoughts keep intruding.

I still have another kiddo here, but he’s moving out by the end of the year. Thank god I have kitties to cuddle!!

[Freddie]

1. 5.5 years ago my son (then 25) moved to Florida without knowing a soul there

Recovering addict. During his 3rd IP rehab (local) he decided he needed a change of scenery - good idea. The rehab transferred him to a sister facility in FL. Long story short, he’s now 5+ years clean, married the girl of his dreams, has a great job and just bought a house. They want to start trying to start a family next year.
Kids having an “adventure” can be good.

[GPV]

2. Yes, it can! My Smart friends have been a lifeline for me as I process this life change. I'm so

happy to hear that your own son is thriving!

[viva la]

3. You might try to plunge into some new hobby or activity that you can't do with two kids home.

like remodelling their old bedrooms! Or turning one room into your craft room or reading nook or kitty haven.

Or start planning a great post-pandemic trip without them.

He's a brave kid-- venturing into the unknown. I think he'll be fine-- sounds like her parents are planning to watch out for them.

Now for you... time to start that new business! Or write that novel! Or whatever you've been refraining from doing because the kids will laugh at you.

[Marthe48]

4. It is an exciting time

My husband and I sent our daughters to college. The first few months, we went to bed early and watched tv. We were too young to be doing that and looked for something to recharge our lives. We ended up becoming volunteers for AFS, and hosted 6 students and met many more people, locally and all over the world. Our daughters did fine, and they loved that we opened our home to so many students. We are still in touch with many of the students. My daughters and family members are friends with the students and some of their family members. We stay in touch on Facebook, and they truly are an extended family

Your son sounds like he is going to have a great experience. I hope the romance takes hold. If you get an address, you can find the neighborhood on Google Maps, or Zillow, or other sites like that. Google maps never lands you right in front of the address you are looking for, but you can type in an address next to the one you want and use the arrows to see the one you want If it makes you feel better to see it

[agingdem]

5. Ok...tough love...

Last edited Fri Aug 27, 2021, 02:06 PM - Edit history (1)

I've been through this twice and I got my daughter through this...you don't have a choice...you've been "retired", they've left you behind..you grieve...hurts like hell..but understand this..the very instant your babies started to crawl, they left you behind...and if for one moment you think you're going to "lose" them, think again...they always come back...they need your emotional support, your unconditional love...if they're going off to college I can tell you this..the first time they come home at semester break (5-6 weeks) and they throw their clothes on the floor, leave the house at 10 at night to party with their friends, come home drunk at 2 in the morning and sleep until noon, somewhere around the third week into this you'll ask them "so when exactly are you going back to school?" and you'll intuitively know you're going to be ok... btw..it's much easier when the second one leaves...yes, you'll go into "mourning" but it lasts about two weeks..and that's when you rip out the brown carpet, replace it with white, and tell both your children that this will always be their home but it's not longer their house and there's a reason god invented kitchen tables...

[mopinko]

6. well, my last kid left w an escort from the cops. i'm still not used to it.

been a few years now. we talk, but he's still a mess.

going from a house w 7 people to me and the dogs and the chickens has been tough, mostly.
lot of days i'm grateful that someone else's troubles arent gonna jump out at my from the couch.

[Lars39]

7. A few red flags...

Never met her, renting a room from an unknown family unknown father knows, can’t say where.
Safety first.