""Is the building north or south of. . .?" "Depends on which direction you are coming from.""

[niyad]

I was asking directions from a staffer of a care facility with which I was not familiar, only that it was near one of our main hospitals. That was her response. I stared at the phone for several seconds. After that pause, she explained that she was new to the area, and relied on her gps.I just shook my head, refrained from pointing out the Front Range, a pretty serious directional guide).

The facility does have strict mask and vax for wich I am grateful. My friend is receiving good care (the person with whom I spoke is office staff, thank goodness). But. . .geez.

[CrispyQ]

1. The mountains are kind of like the North Star for us.

Glad your friend is getting the care they need.

[niyad]

2. I cannot count how many times that I have had to explain direction to people, even those who have

been here for a while. "Gee, I had no idea." Just shake my head.

I am grateful as well. She desrves the best care, as we all do. Glad that I did not have to
make a fuss.

[rsdsharp]

3. We once ordered from a local sandwich shop. After about an hour the delivery guy called us.

He couldn’t find the house. He didn’t have GPS, he was new to the area and didn’t know the major streets and/or their relationship to each other, which wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because he DIDN’T KNOW DIRECTIONS. He literally didn’t know how north, south, east and west were oriented.

I hadn’t been so flummoxed since a woman in Texas told me, “There ain’t no such state as Iowa!”

[niyad]

12. Do you ever wonder how people like the two you mentioned manage to function?

Another Iowa story: I was talking to a woman one day (about what, I no longer remember) and said something about Iowa. She gently corrected me, "no, dear, it is pronounced Ohio." I made my excuses and left to find a convenient wall.

[rsdsharp]

14. My Iowa story has an Ohio twist to it, too.

I was working as manager of a jewelry store that was part of Gordon’s Jewelry out of Houston, Texas. I had sold a wedding set, but needed it in a different color gold. So I called Houston and told her what I needed, and that I was at Jacquards 50538 (our store number) in Cedar Falls, Iowa.

She told me, “We ain’t got no stores in Idaho.” I corrected her and gave the city and state again. “We ain’t got no stores in Ohio, neither.” I slowly pronounced Iowa, and then spelled it. “There ain’t no such state as Iowa.”

Gordon’s was then the second largest jewelry chain in the country. It was publicly traded, but was run by the Gordon family, specifically “Mr.” Harry and “Mr.” Aaron. They, in turn, had sons working below them.

Gordon’s had five divisions, and my division was overseen by one of the sons — “Mr.” Danny. I asked the geography genius to conference in Danny Gordon, introduced myself (I had never met him), apologized for bothering him and calmly explained my problem. What followed was one of the most colorful, and creative, ass eatings I had ever heard.

I got the rings. In I-O-W-A.

[niyad]

15. You have no idea how that cheered my day! How DO these people function

without a keeper?

[rsdsharp]

16. That's the guy standing behind them reminding them to

“Breathe in.”
“Breathe out.”

[Totally Tunsie]

4. LOL - Direction vs. Location...

One of these things is not like the other!

An acquaintance once vehemently argued about the location of a particular town within our state. When I said "Cumberland, being in northern RI,...", he jumped in and replied "OH NO - not if you're in Massachusetts - Cumberland is south!" Well, it might be south of MA, but Cumberland was, is, and always will be in northern RI. He persisted "But it's east of New York." Yeah, but it's STILL in northern RI! To this day, he doesn't get it.

and ~

Years ago, a buddy sent directions to his fiance's home where their intimate wedding was to be held. On that day, we drove according to his directions and ended up in someone's driveway with no relation to the wedding. We backtracked from the highway exit and followed the directions again, thinking we had made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the same stranger's driveway. The light dawned: When this guy went from work to home, he drove north on Rte. 495 to get there. However, we and most of their guests were coming from the other direction, driving south on Rte. 495. Thus, "turning left off Rte. 495" sent us all in the wrong direction. The groom was visibly upset at all of us being delayed, and it took a lot of convincing to get him to understand why and how. BTW, the marriage didn't last.

[niyad]

11. What frustrating experiences! Did you have a sense that the marriage would not last?

[Totally Tunsie]

13. Yes, actually we did sense that.

It was the groom's third marriage and the bride's second, and she was a flake!

He then went on to a fourth marriage that has now lasted for twenty years - his longest, so never say "never". He definitely saved the best one for last!

In reality, both instances were more funny than frustrating. They made for some good laughs and funny memories.

[Wounded Bear]

5. Follow the River Road north and turn left where the McPherson's barn used to be...

[niyad]

10. Exactly.

[mnhtnbb]

6. People are stupid.

How else did we get the orange a$$hole?

[niyad]

9. That is true. But when one has the Front Range of the Rockies directly west, one would

think thar this would not be an issue. On the other hand, I was once trying to get transit information for a friend, was trying to explain to the information desk person what I needed. She replied that she did not know one of the streets I was talking about. I counted to ten, and said quietly, "Look over your left shoulder to the windows. You are looking at it twenty feet from you." I then called the transit director, and offered to teach a class on how this metropolis is laid out, at least the downtown.

[Piasladic]

7. Not saying this is the case, but

In a town near where I live there is a road that bifurcates with the eastbound side of the road going south around a few blocks of the downtown and the westbound side to the north. This means if you're heading west on the road some buildings are to south, and if you're heading east, they're to the north.

[niyad]

8. Not the case here. Straight roads.