Just got an email from one of the big box stores.

[LuckyCharms]

I apparently purchased the following product some time ago. I cannot remember what I used it for.

Loctite PL Premium 10 fl. oz. Polyurethane Construction Adhesive.



The email asked me if I could answer the following user "question" about this product. The "question" was worded exactly like this:

"Bullet hole porcelain sink to wood frame of the vanity"

I answered this question as follows:

No, this product will not attach bullet holes to porcelain. It will, however, adhere the sink to the wood frame of the vanity. I would perform the following steps in order to achieve your desired look: 1) use this product to adhere the sink to the vanity. 2) Shoot a bullet through the desired location in the porcelain sink. 3) Using a red sharpie, draw an arrow on the sink which points to the bullet hole. Write "CAUTION:BULLET HOLE" next to the arrow you drew. Cover the red ink with 3 coats of fast-drying polyurethane and let dry for 24 hours. The polyurethane will prevent the red ink from running when it gets wet. If the bullet hole causes a vapor lock problem when using the sink, cut some duct tape in the same shape as the bullet hole, only slightly larger than the hole itself, and place it over the hole. Take a small chip of the porcelain (that went flying across the room when you shot your sink) to the paint store. They will be able to color match the exact color of the porcelain. Have them make you a small can (pint) of paint that is the same color as the porcelain. Brush some of this paint over the duct tape that you used to cover the bullet hole. If you do this correctly, all you will be able to see now is the red arrow, and the words "CAUTION: BULLET HOLE". Good luck.

[True Dough]

1. That's amusing

I always ask for paper receipts and avoid giving stores my email address because I don't want uninvited questions or promotions like this.

[LuckyCharms]

2. I actually did get the above email, but I didn't answer it as I posted.

I just ignored it. But if i were inclined to answer, I would have posted something like I did above, because the question is so ridiculous. I actually signed up to be an "answerer" at this store, because sometimes the answers provided by other people help me decide what to buy. Also, this particular store has my email address anyway because I always purchase online.

I occasionally provide serious answers. I installed two new toilets in my home, and I gave detailed answers to questions about the toilets, as well as this new kind of wax ring that I used to install them.

i just kept looking at the question posted above and could not figure out what the person was asking for the life of me.

[True Dough]

6. You're number one, LuckyCharms

with a BULLET!!

[onethatcares]

3. after 8 years I keep getting

requests to answer questions about a time clock I purchased for a job I had. Best question to date:

" Will employees be able to change time and evade working full days?"

Answer: "If your employees would do that you have a bigger problem than a time clock".

[LuckyCharms]

4. Ha! Good answer!

[LuckyCharms]

5. Alright, his question is driving me nuts. The only thing I can figure that this

person is talking about is a type of drain stopper sometimes referred to as a bullet core.

https://www.amazon.com/Universal-Stainless-Overflow-Kitchen-Bathroom/dp/B094F77714

But you would probably use plumber's putty under the rim of that flange, not construction adhesive. And you wouldn't even use construction adhesive to adhere the underside of the sink to the top edge of the vanity. If you did that, you would tear the shit out of the vanity edge if you ever had to pull that sink off and replace it. You'd probably use something like a silicone sealant which would waterproof the gap, and hold the sink enough to keep it from moving, but not adhere it so tightly that you'd have to damage the vanity when you removed the sink.

So somebody get this guy's phone number, call him up, and ask him what the hell he's talking about.

[Donkees]

7. Maybe instructions are for *undermount sink* clips - those look 'holey' (?)

[Donkees]

9. Photos:

Photo with epoxy:




https://vanceind.com/undermountstuds-round8-pack.aspx

[yardwork]

8. I'm dying! I hope somebody reads that and gets a laugh.