How not to make Fickelgruber's Never Melting Ice Cream
In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, one of the magical and impossible treats Wonka was supposedly working on was an ice cream that never melts. Grandpa Joe said you could leave it in the hot sun all day and it would never go runny.
Then the spies stole the recipe for this and sold it to one of Wonka's competitors, and the next thing you know there's a shop on the way that sells Fickelgruber's Never Melting Ice Cream.
On to the present time...one of my nieces gave me an ice cream maker attachment for my stand mixer, and of course I've been using the hell out of it. (I have the most wonderful idea that I'll tell you about after I see if it actually works.) On Monday I decided to make an especially rich and creamy ice cream, so I whipped up a batch of batter and froze it. The next day I had some, and there was a lump of it in the bottom of the dish. I wash my dishes in the morning so I put the bowl in the sink and forgot about it.
The next day, the lump (which had been at room temperature all night) was exactly the same shape. So I did what any curious soul would do: put a spoonful of it in a custard cup and stuck it outside all day. The lump was exactly the same shape--hadn't melted at all.
You should not make this because it's like eating a bowl full of sweetened butter, but here's how if you're as insane as I am:
5 cups heavy whipping cream (there is "whipping cream" and "heavy whipping cream," and for this you want the heavy, higher-fat version)
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla
8 egg yolks
Put all this shit in a pan and bring to a slow simmer, stirring constantly. When done, put in fridge overnight to cool. The next morning, freeze according to the directions on your ice cream freezer.
Nutritional information: You don't really want to know.