Need some advice on a totally non-politically related topic.

[MynameisBlarney]

A lady friend of mine who is in a relationship, and living with a man, invited me to meet her and some friends at the pub for a few drinks, (after I accept, she posts the news on facebook, which kind of bothered me), the friends never show up. No problem. I'm not thinking anything of it, we split some appetizers, and listen to music whilst having a few beers and talk about stuff. She did mention a few times that she is not particularly happy in her current relationship.

One of those ladies comes by that sells roses and cigars. So I bought a cigar and got a free rose, making sure to get one that wasn't red, lol.

So, it's time to leave, we part ways, and I was thinking it was just a friends hanging out type thing.
The next day she posts a picture of the rose on fb, thanking me for it, with a little heart icon in the text.
I'm like WTH lady?

Am I overreacting? Am I being used to make her bf jealous. Or am I over analyzing it?

Hell, maybe she just needed to vent. Who knows? PAH! I'll never understand women, lol.

I'm sure it's probably nothing...but my spider sense is tingling.

[In_The_Wind]

1. Your spider sense should be tingling.

Back a way carefully. It doesn't sound like she just wants to be just friends.

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[MynameisBlarney]

3. Ugh.

I may be lonely as heck, but not lonely enough to mess around with a woman that's in a relationship.

[In_The_Wind]

8. You're smart.

Sounds like she's been taking the class 101 How To Be A Heart Breaker.

[Scuba]

2. There's two ways to understand women ...

... no one knows either way.

[MynameisBlarney]

6. One cool thing about that evening though

was that another lady friend of mine, walked up while the one I showed up with was in the bathroom, to let me know she was newly single and wanted my digits.

I should go out more often, lol.

[PoliticAverse]

4. Seems like she's sent out enough signals to attract space aliens. n/t

[MynameisBlarney]

7. Probably

I have been out of the dating scene for about 2 years now. I'm kinda rusty on being able to pick up on such things.

[leftyohiolib]

5. Am I overreacting? Am I being used to make her bf jealous. Or am I over analyzing it?

probably all 3 - untill she moves out and spends sometime on her own (that way you avoid being the transition guy) you should stay back.

[MynameisBlarney]

11. That's kinda my thinking

Though, I don't mind being the transition guy.
I'm in no particular rush for a relationship.

[Orrex]

12. But are you overreacting enough?

That's the question.

[MynameisBlarney]

14. Hmmmm...

That IS a good question, lol.

[Orrex]

9. You should have given her the cigar

Which may or may not sound dirtier than I meant it.

[MynameisBlarney]

10. LMAO

Either way it's still funny.

[PoliticAverse]

13. Bill Clinton is that you ?... n/t

[rug]

15. Is her name Lucille?

[MynameisBlarney]

16. Delilah

lol

[rug]

17. I'll be damnedif I post Tom Jones.

[PoliticAverse]

18. I'll help you out...

[MynameisBlarney]

19. DAMMIT!

ya beat me to it!

[LWolf]

20. Listen to your spidey sense. nt

[pipi_k]

21. Overreacting...

Are you? I don't know.

I would be wary, though.


As far as her needing to vent, if she's not happy in her relationship, the person she should be talking with is her boyfriend.

Or a therapist.

At the very worst, a female friend.

Anyway, that whole Facebook deal was a pretty weasel move on her part, IMO.

How old is this friend, anyway?

[MynameisBlarney]

22. she's almost 40.

and I'm 42.
And yeah, I hear ya. I don't know why but a LOT of my friends seek me out to vent.

[pipi_k]

30. Huh. Now that's odd...

See, from your description of events, I would have judged her to be early/mid 20s.

A time when people are still doing relatively stupid/foolish things, socially (and personally).

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

23. Where did she post the picture of the rose?

Her FB page? or yours?

If it was on her FB page, it was probably to make BF jealous. And I'd have to ask why you're sniffing around her FB page? I mean, if you're not interested and all that.

If it was on your FB page, sometimes a "thank you" is just a "thank you".

Since I don't use FB, I don't even know if she can post on your page. I've just heard of things like "walls" whatever they are.

[MynameisBlarney]

24. It was posted.

where I could see it along with everyone else that is friends with either of us.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

27. Yikes. I think I'll stay away from FB a bit longer

Two courses of action come to mind:

1. email or PM and ask her to remove the pic of the rose and heart, tell her you thought it was supposed to be a private conversation.

or 2. ignore it, act dumb, never answer her phone calls again.

However, on my best days, I'm socially oblivious. My social skills just go downhill from there. So I recommend ignoring both of my recommendations.

[Taverner]

25. Heed thy spidey sense...

She's up to something...especially with the FB posts

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. You're overthinking it.

I put little hearts on fb posts all the time--the idea that those men would think I was into anything more than being their friend is laughable. You made her feel better last night. To put any more into it, if she's not texting you nonstop, calling you and asking you to get together again, etc... well, is a little goofy. Sometimes we all need to check our egos at the door when it comes to friends.

[MynameisBlarney]

28. I hope you're right.

Because I don't need any of that particular type of drama if she is scheming.

[RILib]

29. run n/t

[MynameisBlarney]

31. Well...just spoke with a mutual friend of the woman in question

and long story short it seems my spider sense tinglage was verified.

[840high]

32. Run!

[Xyzse]

33. All I can say is...

Thank god I don't have FB...
It keeps my life simple.

Either way... Jet.

[Katorama]

34. Sounds like a drama queen.

Run.

[Major Nikon]

35. I'll I can say is...Fuck I'm glad I'm not dating these days

Social media makes me want to be anti-social sometimes.

[Bucky]

36. You shouldn't have slept with her.

Or was that JUST a cigar?

[MynameisBlarney]

37. It was JUST a cigar!

lol

[Sweet Freedom]

38. Use FB to counteract

Post a reply to her FB rose picture that says, "No...thank you. The get together reminded me that I need to get out more. I ran into another friend that night and I'm thinking of asking her out. Wish me luck!"

(You can change the post settings so that only she sees it and it doesn't get plastered all over your wall.)

[MynameisBlarney]

39. Well, I don't want to be mean about it.

I'm just going to not let things go any further than friendship should we hang out again. And if we do, it will be with other friends there as well.
But I damn sure won't do the rose thing again, lol.

[fleur-de-lisa]

40. She's up to something . . .

probably trouble. Tread lightly!

[agracie]

41. Who has the energy to play such games? My advice is..

RUN LIKE THE WIND !!!