Florida cops Taser naked burglar who pooped and masturbated when homeowner pulled a gun

[ashling]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/01/23/florida-cops-taser-naked-burglar-who-pooped-and-masturbated-when-homeowner-pulled-a-gun/

“He dropped off my roof and run right in my house,” the homeowner said in a 911 call obtained by WBBH.

***

“He’s laying on my floor,” the homeowner told 911 operators. “He run in my fucking house naked, hooting and hollering and tearing shit up.”

***

“Deputies later discovered Bruni defecated near the front door and in a hallway inside the residence,” WTSP reported.

.... doctors had not yet been able to determine “what Bruni was on.”

=======================

[sakabatou]

1. Congrats to you for the weirdest (so far) headline.

[ohiosmith]

2. “He run in my fucking house naked, hooting and hollering and tearing shit up.”

[ashling]

13. That's the line I should have gone with

for my subject line in OP

[ohiosmith]

15. It's classic!

[Flaxbee]

22. I think that's the best line in the article, too.

Naked hooting and hollering is just ... well.

[harmonicon]

24. If I had a nickel for every time someone's described me that way... (nt)

[LiberalEsto]

3. Instead of stealing, he was giving (various personal deposits)

so why was he charged with burglary?

[Xyzse]

4. Ah, it's in Florida...

Why is the craziest things going on in FL? I don't understand it.

[RebelOne]

19. I grew up in Florida and some of those crazies is the reason I moved to Georgia. n/t

[Dr. Strange]

5. That's bullshit. I didn't drop off the roof!

I mean Bruni. Bruni didn't drop off the roof.

[In_The_Wind]

6. I Saw The Video!

I was hoping you didn't post it here.

Thank you

[sadbear]

7. Bath salts?

(The kind that don't do anything if you put them in the bath.)

[datasuspect]

8. i was not in florida

[LeftofObama]

9. It was a youthful indescretion.

Keep hounding me on it and I'll do it again!

[madinmaryland]

17. a youthful defecation??

[LeftofObama]

18. LOL!

[Moondog]

10. Impressive. Even by Florida standards.

[Brigid]

11. Now here is a headline . . .

That will never be equalled --here or elsewhere.

[Demoiselle]

12. Is it possible he was just simply manic?

...Not on drugs or anything, I mean.
I can't read a story like this without feeling terribly sad.

[graywarrior]

14. Hilarious!

I just wrote a short story based on a similar incident that happened to some seniors I knew back in the 70s.

[marzipanni]

25. Were the seniors the protagonists

or antagonists?

[graywarrior]

26. Protagonists

Altho it would be interesting to rewrite it with the intruder as the protagonist.

[Ron Obvious]

16. Geez, is everything illegal these days?

Talk about a harmless bit of fun.

[davsand]

20. The story itself is funny, but the comments at Raw Story cracked me up!

Come on--a nekkid guy running in, pooping, and whacking off in somebody's house--that is some decent comedic material all by itself. The comments just add to the fun:

lindylou•13 hours ago
Are you sure that isn't Ted Nugent?


Andy> lindylou•13 hours ago
Yes, this person shit in the front hall not in his pants.


Hooker> Andy•12 hours ago
A "dis-stink-tion" without a difference.


TheGuru> Andy•10 hours ago
Hey, we're not talking about Al Roker now.

Laura

[Lil Missy]

21. I always hate when that happens.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

23. bath salts is my best guess

or a psychotic break

[Incitatus]

27. OK, I can understand crapping when someone pulls a gun on you, but

um....

[Initech]

28. There is so much fail in this story - where to begin?