Well, fuck. They closed down the META 'recreational area'...I gotta sell some stuff....

[cliffordu]

Lessee -

I got a hammer and some tongs,
A flamethrower and a (slightly used) hazmat suit.
A dozen HOT-SHOT cattle prods and a gallon or so of mace (Industrial grade sprayer not included).

A pallet of pristine bear traps
(#16 Grizzly Bear Trap: 42 1/2" long. Each trap weighs 48 lbs., 24 to to the pallet. Stakes extra. You pick up.)

Two industrial bench presses, a cranial saw, a pressure washer, an autoclave (never used).

A gross of purity tests, all shined and ready to go.


Make me an offer.

I also gotta bunch of odds and ends. Pitbull ball gags, Gift certs to the olive Garden, a case or so of Camel Straights..Breast pumps.



And will SOMEONE call grantcart and tell him his wife and dog are outside my house, shaking down winos and stealing the fixed gear bicyles off the hipsters.

Parking here is a bitch. Why add to the chaos??

[MiddleFingerMom]

1. You forgot about all the heavily-used gigantic novelty shwitzzle sticks.

[cliffordu]

6. Right, but They're so fouled that I dunno who'd want them

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. what did you do with taterguy's bike?

[cliffordu]

7. hmm...We had some drinks right before lights out and

I don't remember much after the cockroach races.

He didn't have a very good lock for that bike.

He didn't have a very good roach, either.

[In_The_Wind]

3. A gross of purity tests, all shined and ready to go.

[cliffordu]

18. Well....

[In_The_Wind]

19. well .........

[Major Nikon]

4. I've got a dead horse. I'll trade ya straight across for everything.

[cliffordu]

8. Hmm......Don't think I can do that,

but I'll give you half the purity tests.

[Major Nikon]

10. It's only been dead one week and has yet to be beaten

You could butcher it if you want.

[cliffordu]

11. Then I'd have my own horse's ass

and I could retire grantcart from the role.......hmmm....interesting....

[Baitball Blogger]

13. I don't think the meat will be any good.

Not with all the bruising from all the kicking.

[Major Nikon]

14. You never hear of tenderizing?

[Baitball Blogger]

17. We have come here to eat Meta, not to praise it.

[cliffordu]

20. LOL....

[Kennah]

43. Et tu, Baitball? Et tu?

[olddots]

30. i can't beat your dead horse

even with my "win debates thru boredom " motivational 8 track cartridge tapes ( 2 for 3$ )

[cliffordu]

40. I'll give you a buck forty for the lot.

[Kennah]

44. If I can't get it on vinyl, I'm telling MIRT

[polly7]

5. I might be interested in that cranial saw ....

would you consider a pair of (almost completed) ultra-adorable crocheted newborn monster booties in trade? If no teeny ones in your family, they'd probably make pretty nifty ear-warmers.

[cliffordu]

9. I LIKE earwarmers....

[polly7]

12. That's awesome! I'll finish them up quick.

So anxious for my cranial saw!!!

[magical thyme]

15. my stuff for sale is a little more mundane...

Anybody up for leather riding boots, with fringed leather chaps? Also rowel spurs (tips a little blunt, but could be re-sharpened), dressage whip for riding, plaited rawhide longe whip, oh, and a nice lariat for roping, hog-tying, etc.

[cliffordu]

16. Hmm...Mebbe we could work something out on them Rowell Spurs...

And that rawhide whip.........

[magical thyme]

21. I could use the flamethrower and the hazmat suit

Do you know of any asbestos flameproof suits on the market?

I have a pesky neighbor that needs to be, er, attended to.

[cliffordu]

22. Lemme go into the back room - I think I have an old one that

belonged to 'Better Believe It' but IIRC, it's pretty crispy, even for asbestos.

[magical thyme]

32. hmmm, howbout the hazmat suit?

That needs to be in top notch condition. After I take out the neighbor, I'll need to clean out the toxic waste dump that he calls home.

Let me know what you find out about the asbestos suit. I need it in case the neighbor gets off a couple rounds before I finish him off with the flamethrower.

[cliffordu]

33. I't's essentially new. I used it once for

an unfortunate grave dancing thread that wound up being a bloody knock down drag out melee.

It cleaned up perfectly.

HALF PRICE!!

[magical thyme]

35. SOLD!

After I take out the neighbor and finishing cleaning his toxic waste dump, I can use it to clean the toxic waste site under my family room, where all the neighborhood rats go to die.

[cliffordu]

36. Most excellent!!

[pipi_k]

26. I'll take the

leather riding boots in trade for a barrel full of hair of all colors and textures with scalp tissue still attached.

[polly7]

29. Wait .......

did you use my cranial saw??? I hope you didn't dull it all up.

[magical thyme]

31. hmmmmm....how big is that barrel?

Those scalps sound pretty interesting. I've been wanting to redecorate the living room and need new wallpaper. Also something to re-upholster the armchair.

[rrneck]

23. All these boston creme pies are gonna go to waste if you guys don't eat them. nt

[cliffordu]

34. Are these the pies that have already been thrown or the ones still in the fridge?

You DO know that people were keeping their 'specimens' in there for the poo flinging threads, right??

[rrneck]

37. I thought those were French Silk.

Oh shit.

[cliffordu]

38. Well....

Everybody in META were convinced their shit didn't stink.....

Just sayin'

[rrneck]

39. I guess Lone Watie had the best advice...

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

24. Got any spare Ding Dongs?

There was a big chorus of "Ding Dong" in there when a particular someone was shown the door.

There's gotta be a few leftover Ding Dongs.

[cliffordu]

25. I gotta couple over in the corner, but my cat has been nibbling at the packaging.

You can have 'em for free.

[olddots]

27. You got a claw hammer ?

I'll give you 5 bucks for a politically correct claw hammer and those olive garden coupons ----got some left ????

[cliffordu]

28. Yep - there's rust like substance on the hammer

and I gotta half dozen of the coupons. Sold.

[NYC_SKP]

41. First- keep the odds. The ends are. Mine....

Per settlement.

51% of everything else.


And the Airstream we share, six months of the year on, six off, alternating seasons...

Keep the ball gags- you never used them right anyway...

[cliffordu]

42. Oh for fucks sake. ONE LITTLE MISTAKE with a ball gag..

and you go all sensitive on me.


As Bonny Tyler said:

[grantcart]

45. It's time to take real steps to clean up this place, forget about Meta and

[font color="red" size="28" ]And CONTAIN THE CLIFFORDU[/font]

[cliffordu]

46. You heard about the handcuffs, then??

you wouldn't have a key, wouldja??

I dont wanna tell you how I'm typing this....


PS -
That was my favorite sweatshirt, ya know.

[Ptah]

47. I'll trade three acres of quicksand for some of those bear traps.

[cliffordu]

48. SOLD!!!

Bring your truck to the loading dock and we'll use my forklift to load 'em.

Watch these things, they can take out a 12 foot troll.

[pinboy3niner]

49. Meh. MIRT bags 12-foot trolls before breakfast. One-handed.

For them it's just another feet accompli.

[cliffordu]

50. Where do you think they got the bear traps??

[Kurovski]

51. I logged in to see that someone responded to a post of mine from a few months ago

And now I shall never know what wisdom was handed to me--or flung at me--as the case may be.

I had some juicy confessions written in Meta. it's just as well.

I do wish I had captured some pages, tho.

Tra la, such fun.