I lost all patience yesterday

[Loryn]

My father has Alzheimer's. He is still very functional, in a completely un-functional way.
I had to lock myself in my room for most of yesterday afternoon/evening to stay away from him.

Sometimes

[hlthe2b]

1. Heavens... I am so empathetic/sympathetic to those in your shoes.

I can do nothing but listen, but I hope you are ok.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. work with that population, totally understand ...

[Loryn]

3. Thank you

This morning he doesn't remember.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. it is minute to minute. they live in the present. take care of yourself. do you have respite?

do you get some time to yourself?

you need this.

[darkangel218]

4. Dont feel bad, you need to look after yourself too.

[HappyMe]

6. Caring for a parent

with this horrible illness has to be draining emotionally and physically. In order to find the strength to do this, you do need some down time and time for yourself.

[LiberalEsto]

7. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, Loryn

You need MANY hugs


But I also would encourage you to contact your county or city office on aging and ask what they can do to get you respite care, so you can get away once in a while. They may also have caregiver support groups. Nobody truly understands what you're going through except people who are also living with loved ones with Alzheimers.

Here is a link to aging resources in Oregon:

https://adrcoforegon.org/home.php?t=Home

Good luck, dear

[Neoma]

8. Take care of yourself first.

Yoga helps with me. Physically and mentally. Still working on eating healthier. That's harder to me. (I had a salad yesterday! Then Ramen noodles...)

I've met plenty of people that had to go to psychward for putting other people first, rather than themselves. You break down, plain and simple. Find "me time."

[Puzzledtraveller]

9. You have folks here that care

Post, message, many of us, myself included will take the time to just listen/read when you need to let things out.

[olddots]

10. You do have friends here

Find a support group as soon as you can,it might take a few before you find the right one but it's worth it.Don't think it's hokey and wooey to commiserate people come up with coping skills in these groups that help .

[Loryn]

11. Thank you all for your kind words

Next week I'm having a nice little beach getaway. Just me, my ipod, kindle, and camera!


Of course the beach will be there too!

[fizzgig]

12. sounds like you deserve it

i hope you have a wonderful time

[ConcernedCanuk]

14. Why wait until next week - sounds like you need a break NOW!

.
.
.

I understand the obligation some feel for their parents, siblings, children . .

But ya can't do a good job of it if you are all messed up

TAKE THE BREAK

soon

you will be of more use to them if you are less stressed

and you will feel better

take a break

now



ponder it

be well

CC

[texanwitch]

13. Been there, done that.

You need some help.

Check to see if there is adult daycare for your Father.

Taking care of someone with Alzheimer is rough.

You are just one person, take care of yourself also.

[libodem]

15. Sorry

What a hard path. Best of luck to you in coping.

[talkingmime]

16. Hang in there. A lot of us have been through the same. My grandmother didn't know who I was.

My wife said it was much harder losing her father because he was still "with us". She considered her mother gone long before she actually died because she just wasn't inside the body anymore. She didn't know who anyone was, including "that man in my room" (her husband). So when she passed, it was not as emotionally difficult for my wife since she'd already come to terms with it. Her father passing is what crushed her because he was of full wits.

With it on both sides of my family, I've already accepted that my kids are likely to have to deal with me in the capacity you are dealing with him. And they've got a double whammy since it will be on both sides of their family.

Just comfort yourself in the fact that he knows you care, even if at times he doesn't know who you are. The attention is still appreciated. One of the last meals my mother-in-law had was one I made - a BLT. She ate the entire thing when normally it was a challenge to get her to eat two bites of anything.

Another thing I would like you to consider is finding an Alzheimer's support group. Most areas have them and sometimes just having other people to dump on, hug you, and provide understanding does more good than anything else.

You've got my thoughts. Try to keep your chin up and if you want to talk about it in private, I'll be there. Just PM me.

TM

[triguy46]

17. I know how you feel...

had to put father in law in an alzheimer's care facility last week, after 2 weeks in a gero psych unit. He was violent and out of control. Better now. We have to keep telling ourselves that it is not "him", rather "he" left that body long ago.

[Lars39]

18. Is your father a veteran?

There might be a program that would help with sitters. I don't know if it's a federal program or state program, but I know TN has one.

Been there, it's tough.

[texanwitch]

21. If your Father is a vet who served in time of war, he can get 1800 a month.

He didn't have to be in combat, just served during a period of war.

A spouse can also get this 1800.

A neighbor collects this money, her husband served during Korea.

She is able to stay in her home. someone comes in and helps her.

Take care of yourself.

I can't remember the name of the program but

[Lars39]

23. Yes, even those classified as a Viet Nam era veteran can get benefits, spouse, too,

When veteran dies, if she has no other income. A lot of people don't know about thee programs.

[texanwitch]

25. It is sad, so many people could use the money.

My neighbor just needs help around the house, cleaning and cooking.

This money is allowing her to stay home, inside of in a home.

[Kali]

19. I know this may be taken wrong by some

but humor HAS to be a part of a caretaker's sanity when dealing with this affliction. One thing is if you lose your temper and yell, they won't remember.

You have to see them as simple children. Trying to explain things from the past doesn't work. They aren't there anymore.

My Grandfather was an old cowboy. He kept his gun until the end. We tried to slip blanks in place of his last 6 bullets. OH he figured THAT out right away, despite constantly losing the gun itself - including in his boot one day...

funny now, total frustration and stress back then

[polly7]

20. I've worked with many in nursing homes.

I'm so sorry, it's very, very difficult. Looking into respite care is a must, this isn't something you can do alone for long. Take care of yourself, and for you both.

[sheshe2]

22. Loryn, so sorry

I know what you are going through. My sister and I tried to home care for my dad for 8 months. She worked part time and I worked full time. It just about killed us.

He is 91 now and in a nursing home. There is care and financial support out there. My sister is the one that has with power of attorney, so she did the research. Dad has always known who I was, until the last few times I visited. Now he thinks I am his sister. Very sad!

to you Loryn.

[susanr516]

24. Been through this with my dad, now my mother-in-law

Hugs to you.



If you live in an urban area, you might contact MHMR to see if there is a respite program or an adult day-care that could step in and give you a break.

You are in my thoughts.