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cloudbase

(5,511 posts) Wed Mar 20, 2013, 08:26 AM Mar 2013

Your Passover Jokes.

I need some new material.

Here's one of mine, but my wife will probably kill me if I use it again:

One year we had a blind gentleman at our seder. While we were passing the matzoh around the table, he ran his fingers over it and said
"Who wrote this dreck?"

4 replies

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Your Passover Jokes. (Original Post) cloudbase Mar 2013 OP

That really made me laugh. harmonicon Mar 2013 #1

"Hey man, it's Passover." - "Give me a bloody break, will ya?" talkingmime Mar 2013 #2

I'm stealing that thanks olddots Mar 2013 #3

I though this one was pretty cute..... WCGreen Mar 2013 #4

harmonicon

(12,008 posts)

1. That really made me laugh.

Reply to cloudbase (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2013, 08:34 AM

Mar 2013

I've only ever been to one seder dinner, but it was fantastic - my favourite holiday I've been involved with. Scripted drinking is the best. It was hosted by a couple I went to college with. They each invited a gentile friend, and knowing that, my joke was to say when I showed up, "I haven't been to schul in years."

talkingmime

(2,173 posts)

2. "Hey man, it's Passover." - "Give me a bloody break, will ya?"

Reply to cloudbase (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2013, 01:16 PM

Mar 2013

olddots

(10,237 posts)

3. I'm stealing that thanks

Reply to cloudbase (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2013, 01:22 PM

Mar 2013

This reminds me to search for my Milton Berle joke collection book to be prepared for the seder .

WCGreen

(45,558 posts)

4. I though this one was pretty cute.....

Reply to cloudbase (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2013, 01:51 PM

Mar 2013

Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:
"You, Moses, heed me ! I have good news, and bad news."
Moses was staggered. The voice continued:
"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite Egypt with a rain of frogs"
"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt with a plague of Locust."
"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh's army pursues you, I will part the waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land."
Moses was stunned. He stammered, "That's.... that's fantastic. I can't believe it! --- But what's the bad news?"
"You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement."

Read more at http://www.theholidayspot.com/passover/jokes_for_passover.htm#rJ0bHK8XwYJh3Zi5.99

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