so, my daughter has a new friend...
Last edited Sat Mar 23, 2013, 02:32 PM - Edit history (1)
My daughter is six, her friend is seven and her father lives next door - she's only there on the weekends. She came over last weekend to meet my daughter and play. She's a good kid, and I honestly don't know her father. I just met him last weekend too.
Today, she shows up on our doorstep to play - that's cool. It's after lunch when she came over. Come to find out she hadn't eaten. So I fed her. Then I find out that he hasn't had heat over there this winter and has been living in two main rooms of the house to stay warm. I saw the inside of the house last weekend, and I don't have the cleanest house in the world, even I was a bit appalled to see what he was living in.
I do not know the girl's mother, as she lives about an hour south of us and brings her daughter up to be with her father on the weekends. The girl is clean, well mannered and is clothed nicely.
Oh, and right now they're playing on the floor - and I have music going - this little girl sings like a little bird, has a great voice.
I'm not trying to "come down" on the father. He and his daughter seem to love each other very much. I just think it's a sad situation, and I wish I could help, but I'm pretty much broke myself. I have way to much of my own shit to deal with...I just don't know what to do. 
**editing to add....
I have to head off to work, but I do appreciate the replies and suggestions about what I can do to help with out a budget of my own to work with 
= new reply since forum marked as read
Does the father work? That makes me so sad---I know what you mean about not having the neatest house---mine isn't spotless either.
The fact that it's so cold where you are and they don't have heat is so bad----I remember your Gov was going to cut that program for the poor, but haven't read much since.
The fact that she is clean and well-mannered is good---she probably loves coming over to your house. I really don't know what to tell you. 
I just met him last week...I still don't know his last name, I'll find that out before she leaves today.
as for what I mean about "cleanest house" - many people I know are so afraid of shit, their house is so clean you could eat off the floor...personally, I'd rather live in my house 
So, it's a little cluttered, dishes aren't always done right off the bat etc...she just asked to spend the night tonight, which we can't manage this weekend, but we'll try next weekend.
These kids need to eat.
Hope you find a way to help by finding help.
do what you're doing: provide her with warmth and food when she visits. (Maybe suggest the girls do some 'cooking' when she's there, so she can take some back with her at the end of her visits?)
I have absolutely no doubt at all that you'll do the right thing and be a blessing to this child, but keep in mind that people can get very defensive an prideful when they've got their back against the wall. Sounds like this fellow may be in that spot, and he could pull in if he perceives your kindness and caring for his daughter as an affront. Your family may be a critical lifeline for her, and that is really the most important thing.
Best wishes to you as you navigate this situation.
Sounds like the Dad needs a friend just as much as his little girl does. Let us know how it goes. 
out of season at the moment. I wish I had known sooner. Hubby says he's been staying warm all winter by running his kitchen stove.
Work starts up again soon for him, and I think the best that we can do is just be around for the daughter. I don't have the financial ability to help him out, and most likely because he isn't the custodial parent, he's not eligible for any benefits from the state.