My daughter got invited to the Prom and got stood up by her boyfriend, AFTER we

[madinmaryland]

bought the dress. $400 fucking bucks for a fucking dress. His mother wouldn't "lend" him the money to take them.

Our daughter is clueless about the money and is still hanging out with him.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Wow. I'm sorry she is so clueless.

indeed!

[madinmaryland]

4. Let me add a little more to explain it better...

Our daughter is a sophomore and he is a senior. She does understand that if she goes next year, she will be wearing the dress that we bought her this year.

BTW, our daughter has the same brilliant smile and face that you do!!!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. Ah, that does help!

And.....thank you...

[madinmaryland]

10. No. Thank you.

You add a big sunshine to the Lounge (and DU!!)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. Aw...

[In_The_Wind]

2. OMG

How horrible for both of the kids.

[madinmaryland]

3. If I was not unemployed, I would have assisted the boy

in getting the tickets. They are $65 each.

Neither kid seems upset about not going. Our daughter is a sophomore and he is a senior, so it is his prom.

[olddots]

6. Yikes proms

clothes , limos and now they want money for ( no kidding ) renting a hotel room --our daughter didn't ask for the hotel room money because hopefully that was a bribe tactic for more money for booze and drugs .

[Kali]

7. something wrong

$400 for a high school prom dress?

I don't mean to be that asshole that shits on somebody's good fortune and ability to pay for things that I couldn't. but jeebus. $400?

That is half a ticket to Europe. An easy week in Mexico. A train trip in the US.

If kids expect that kind of spending, maybe they should be working/earning at least some of it themselves?

[madinmaryland]

9. Well...

We paid for a school trip to France for our daughter. A bit more than what you suggested it was.

It's been 30+ years since I went to a prom, but it was definitely cheaper back then. I drove everyone, (me, my date, and my sister and her date) in the old family Chevy station wagon to dinner and then to the Prom. My Dad would not let me take the Chevrolet Caprice. Yeah, my Dad was a Chevy Man. He is now a Toyota man!!

[Kali]

12. My friend was here in Jan/Feb from Frankfurt to Tucson (through Dallas) RT was EUR 663.52

just checked the old e-mail.

yeah, I didn't go to mine. My sons didn't go to theirs either, but my niece went. I was probably in Mexico, but I think she got a used dress or my sister may have handed something down to her. She went with a girl friend and the husband drove them. It was in Tucson, rather than the local town and I don't know what tickets and pix were. I will ask when she gets off work.

I feel so bad for poor kids that really feel the pressure to compete with that kind of money for a social event in high school. Jebus, I bought my wedding dress new for half that (yes it was back in the dark ages but I felt guilty even then!)

GREAT to hear she has been away. SO good for anybody that can swing it.

[bluedigger]

8. That's too bad.

Proms have become a ridiculous prestige event, but of course the kids don't see it that way.

[rug]

13. Well, all things being equal, I'm glad she's still hanging out with him.

When I saw your headline I thought she was stood up by him, not that his parents wouldn't pay. That would have been horrible for her.

As it is, it's only money.

Your money.

[ConcernedCanuk]

14. $400 for a dress

.
.
.

but no $$ for the prom tickets?

Maybe you put your funds/priorities in the wrong direction.

CC

[madinmaryland]

17. Well...

He invited her to the Prom (his prom), so it was assumed he would be paying.

[Texasgal]

15. 400.00 for a dress?

No offense but that sounds outlandish!

I'm sorry to hear that the fellow stood her up, but 400.00 for a dress is insane!

[madinmaryland]

18. I agree with you on the price,

but I am not up to date on the dress price info. My sister and my mom made her prom dress by hand. It was beautiful.

[Texasgal]

22. I guess i am not either

if that's what dresses cost now days! Yikes!

[ConcernedCanuk]

23. Your sister and your mom charged you $400 for the dress?

.
.
.

Am I misunderstanding something here?

That would be her grandmother and an aunt if I'm correct.

I hope your daughter never sees this thread.

CC

[madinmaryland]

24. Oops...

My sister and my mother made a Prom dress for my sister. (30 years ago).

The dress my daughter bought was at a store.

Does that help?

[ConcernedCanuk]

25. Your OP clearly indicates

.
.
.

That YOU bought the dress.
___________________________________________________________________________

"My daughter got invited to the Prom and got stood up by her boyfriend, AFTER we

bought the dress. $400 fucking bucks for a fucking dress. His mother wouldn't "lend" him the money to take them.

Our daughter is clueless about the money and is still hanging out with him"
_________________________________________________________________________

explain.

CC

[antigone382]

26. Probably the daughter picked out the dress and the parents paid for it.

And as already stated, the homemade dress referred to previously was for the OP's sister, 30 years ago, not the daughter.

[madinmaryland]

28. Sigh....

We paid for the dress that she picked out. So yes, we did buy the dress.

[BlueJazz]

53. So you bought the dress for your sister 30 years ago ??

Why didn't your daughter just buy a dress instead of trying to make one ?

(after the last few posts, I couldn't resist)

[darkangel218]

16. JC Penny sells very nice prom dresses for under $100 nt

[madinmaryland]

19. Try explaining that to a 15 year old!

[darkangel218]

20. Well it depends how that 15 y old was raised

If was always bought the most expensive clothes, i guess there is no way out of buying an expensive prom dress.

[DebJ]

51. Or it could be very much the complete opposite.

As the child of a single parent with two jobs just to keep food on the table,
my daughter never got much of anything, certainly not fancy clothes, not EVER.

When it came time for her prom, her last big outing with the friends she had known
all her life, it was very important to her to get a good dress, at least once in all her life.


Story gets kind of funny after that..

At the time I had been dating a guy for about 13 years; we were supposedly planning to get
married after our children grew up (his children were drug users and my son
had bipolar disorder, so we were not going to put them in the same household).
My children actually could see much more clearly than I did what a jerk this
man had been to me all those years. They were long convinced that he was
just using me.


Well, my daughter somehow got my boyfriend to agree to buy her the prom dress.
She comes home with a very expensive dress that he paid for; I couldn't believe it.
But she is very attractive and knows how to bat those eyes. I told her how shocked
I was; she said that he owed me and our family something after being such an a%%
for so many years. She was getting two goals: revenge on a man that she could see
used her Mom, and she would at long last have something really nice to wear.

That vengeance was amplified when I took her to a friend's home, where a large
group of the prom attendees were meeting to go together in a limo. My daughter's
friends all came from very well-to-do homes; my apartment would have fit in
some of her friend's homes' hallways. Imagine my shock when I heard the daughter
from one of these families bragging about getting her dress for $15, another for $40,
and my daughter's dress had cost multiple hundreds (and this was in the late 90s.)
Turns out my daughter's dress cost more than any of her very well-off-friends dresses.
She liked that too; it was the only time in her life she had ever had the best of the best.
The boyfriend was both shocked and angry when he found out.

Shortly thereafter my children's opinion of this man were clearly confirmed, even
to naieve me. The prom dress gained new meaning for me then too. Touche, to
my daughter, who learned so well from all her Mom's mistakes!

[davsand]

21. Do they have the Deb chain in your area?

http://www.debshops.com/prom-dresses/1301,default,sc.html



Lots of dresses and a LOT cheaper than the local formal shops. I took my daughter and one of her pals shopping there then took them out to lunch. Lunch ended up costing me more than her prom dress...

I only wish I'd learned about that chain earlier.


Laura

[MissB]

27. Yet another reason why I'm glad to have boys!

Suits are way cheaper!

My oldest (freshman) went this year. A sophomore girl asked him. Tickets were $30 each. No limos, no fancy dinners out. Most of the folks in this neighborhood are quite well off (except us - we help represent economic diversity). Anyway, the prom ends up being a rather calm affair. All kids at the HS can go. No one wears a tux.

Sorry your daughter couldn't use the dress this year. Hopefully next!

[PasadenaTrudy]

30. Yet another reason I'm glad I don't have kids! n/t

[MissB]

31. Well, there is that! Certainly cheaper! (N/t)

[boston bean]

50. You have no idea how much I've paid for suits for my son.

It's put me in the poor house. A good suit is easily $400. Slacks, Shirt, Tie and Jacket and Shoes, aint cheap either!

Plus I've bought multiple one, because he grew or gained weight and then lost weight! I can't feaking keep up!

[MissB]

52. This is why I had two, a year apart.

They are built the same, one gets the stuff from last year!

[OriginalGeek]

29. Everyone is freaking out about the dress

but that seems dress price to me. I'm freaking out that it costs 65 bucks each to go a prom!

lol, my school didn't have one because dancing is a sin. We did have a Homecoming Banquet but the only costs I remember being associated with that were getting your girl a decorated mum.

[BainsBane]

32. How awful for her

I hope you can return the dress. But as someone else pointed out, it was incredibly inconsiderate. Did he cancel at the last minute? Just not turn up?

[Demo_Chris]

33. WTF people, why are you going on about the cost of the dress?

I am damn near as poor as they come. I have a freaking hole in my bathroom floor big enough that I actually fell through the damn thing a couple weeks ago. Every time I take a shower I am taking my life into my own hands. And Lord knows I am quick to jump on people with any money...

But it was this girl's prom, and if I could have spent that much money or more on my daughter's dress (she couldn't afford to go) I would have done so in a second and told any critics to fuck off. So, since I never got the chance with my own daughter consider it said on Madin's behalf.

[In_The_Wind]

34. .

[HappyMe]

35. At least they're still hanging out,

and don't seem to mind that they can't go. It is too bad the guy will miss his prom.

I guess $65 might sound a bit steep. I don't remember how much tickets were for mine. It was in a ballroom in a hotel, and the ticket price included dinner and dancing. I didn't go since I didn't have a boyfriend at the time.

[cherish44]

36. My daughter's prom dress was $89

Got it from Nordstrom even! She looked beautiful, went without a date, just hung out with her friends. Had a blast. I'd say I'd have to add another $150 for shoes, jewelry, mani-pedi and hair. (Mani-pedi was the most expensive at $50) We probably could have done her nails and hair ourselves but sometimes a girl has to pamper herself a little Oh her prom ticket itself was $20 for a single and $40 for a couple. Her class did fundraisers their Sophomore year to help with offset the cost.

[Maine-ah]

37. I can't believe they charge for the prom.

$65 for prom tickets? The classes are supposed to raise money through out the years to pay for this stuff. We never had to pay for prom tickets. Each senior got two tickets. This is one of the reasons for each class to have a president, vp, and a secretary. We started in Jr. high raising money for our senior trip, prom, and other activities. We had money left over after graduation and that has payed for our reunions. Our 20th is this summer. We also had jobs - payed for our own dresses/suits, dinners and cars. He is a senior, he should have a job and not have to ask his Mum for the money. I wouldn't be surprised if she had a good reason for not loaning it to him.

[Phentex]

46. Ours was in the gym with a centerpiece made of tissue and chickenwire...

no limos, no dinner - just mints and nuts and punch. There may have been a cost for tickets but I don't remember anything about that. Like you said, the Junior class did fundraisers to pay for the Senior prom. We did have a live band and I remember that being the most expensive part of the night. Then there were the engraved glasses to give out as favors, lol. There was also a little folded paper program.

Times have changed and proms have come a long way since those days!

[Maine-ah]

48. "those days"...lol

thanks I'm really feeling old

Yes, our proms were held in the gym but we had a DJ - kids decorated the space - no ice sculptures or anything crazy like that...I think I still have my engraved champagne flute somewhere....the kids around here don't even go somewhere nice for dinner. They all end up at Applebee's - SMH - ugh, I think "those days" may have been a bit better. Now, GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

[CBGLuthier]

38. take the little shit to small claims court

Teach him a lesson in adult responsibility.

[HappyMe]

42. Really?

[Earth_First]

43. I think we have an early frontrunner for most ridiculous post of the day! nt

[dembotoz]

39. my son is going to prom on saturday

junior prom--both 17

don't know about her dress

but

tickets 130
tux 140
her flowers believe 40

and on and on
his money is coming out of what he gets paid working at a mc donalds


the school had PREFERED PROVIDERS for the tux and flowers

One of the girls friends has a father who has a limo service
so the group is getting that for free????


upon entering the prom each participant gets to blow on a breathalyzer to check for alcohol--nice romantic touch don't you think....

it goes on and on....

So madinmaryland I feel you pain
this is my son's first girlfriend and they have only just started dating
I haven't even met the girl--I hear she is nice enough....

when I went to prom it was a complete and utter disaster.....

[avebury]

40. I am sorry that your

daughter did not get to go to the prom. Not knowing the boy's parents or their financial situation it is not really fair to jump on them for not handing their son the money to go to his prom. Unless the boy is handicapped in some way he certainly could have earned the money himself to pay for his prom expense.

What disturbs me the most about many children today (not all, but too many) is that they are raised to think that Mom and Dad will fork over the money for whatever they need. That is just to practical in this day and age when some families have a difficult time just covering the necessities. There was a news piece on TV recently about how much kids spend on proms and it was insane. After buying a prom dress, shoes, accessories, hair, make-up etc., for girls the cost can sometimes be close to $1,000 or more. Then you look at the boy with a tux rental, tickets, dinner, and any additional expenses. I think that if kids want to splurge overboard on their prom they they should earn the money to cover their expenses. I have known some kids that, when they have to pay out of their own pocket for stuff, all of a sudden become a lot more financially conservative.

[GreenPartyVoter]

41. Ay-yi-yi! That's what I spent on my wedding dress! My prom gowns were hand-me-downs and

absolutely lovely. One was a very sweet Victorian-esque Gunne Sax, the other was a bombshell of a dress from the 50s that belonged to my late grandmother.

I am so sorry your daughter got stood up. My bf (now hubby) couldn't go for religious reasons, so I went without him.

[Earth_First]

44. I'm sorrt to hear that...

However it doesn't sound like they are too broken up about it.

Fortunately enough for your daughter she has her own prom ahead of her to lool forward to.

As a side note, our daughter is going to the prom this year (as a Freshman) ...don't get me started, with her sophmore boyfriend and we found her dress at Ann Taylor, a stunning vintage look for $99 onsale.

I hope your daughter enjoys her time spent as an adoslecent, it goes quickly!

Enjoy your day!

[Xyzse]

45. Hanging out with the guy is fine.

It is the fault of irrational exuberation.
Guy "thought" he could afford going to the Prom and was wrong. Should not be the cause of a break up, especially on these trying times.

It is a shame she spent that much on a dress and she should be able to use it next year.

All I can think of is that you guys were able to save money on the other incidentals that come with going to the Prom(especially if she gets to use that handmade dress next year), and it is one less unsupervised time period with an older guy.

Maybe she can work towards defraying the cost of the dress which should teach her more on the value of money.

Still, sorry to hear about that. As a guy, when my niece grows older, I'd be happy if as a sophomore she doesn't go to Prom...
<--Over-protective.

[noamnety]

47. You seem upset that they are still together

and I'm not sure why.

It wasn't his decision to spend hundreds on a dress, and the money didn't come out of her pocket, so it doesn't seem like she would have a reason to resent him for it. I'm not sure even why you would resent him for it - it was your decision to spend a large budget on it, not his, and she can still use the dress. There are places that sell used prom dresses for next to nothing if money is a problem. If the money's not a problem - then it's not a problem, right? She's not even a senior, so it's not even like she's missed her only chance to go to prom.

Personally though I don't get the big deals about prom anyway. It's just a high school dance, and not so different from a wedding reception - and I hate going to those. I didn't go to my prom. Oddly, neither did my husband, his parents, his brother, or my daughter. It's just a thing we don't put value on, we aren't pageant types.

My daughter spent that weekend with her best friend out of town in chicago. They took a train, stayed at a relative's place house sitting while those folks were out of town, spent way less money than a prom would have cost for the whole weekend, and I suspect ended up with way better memories and some life lessons.

[auntAgonist]

49. Did she get "stood up" or was the date called off?

Stood up = left waiting for him to show up.
Cancelled = circumstances changed.

Anyway, I'm flabbergasted at the price that was paid for the dress and yes, I'm being judgemental but you said in the thread you're unemployed. I'd not have given in to paying that kind of money for a dress. My daughter would have to realize that there are just some things that can be done with a lot less expense. (yes I have children, yes they were raised to be frugal and yes I've been extravagant at times but not beyond my means)

Can the dress be returned?

It sounds like the young man is somewhat responsible or at least his parents are in that they wouldn't 'lend' him the ticket money.

The price of Prom is obscene.

Too much peer pressure.

Teaches the wrong lesson IMHO..