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Last edited Mon Jun 24, 2013, 04:31 PM - Edit history (70)
[center] Welcome to the DUzy Awards!
Flying Squirrel before compiling the DUzy Awards:
Flying Squirrel while reading the first few submissions:
Flying Squirrel continues to read DUzy submissions:
Flying Squirrel finishes compiling the DUzy Awards:
To nominate a post for a DUzy, simply reply to the post with "DUzy"
somewhere in your response, and I'll do a search;
if you want to make sure I notice it, PM a link to "The DUzy Awards."
DUzy winners are noted in [font color=#800080]purple;[/font]
Editorial comments by me are in [font color=#FF0000] red italics. [/font]
[font color=blue][center]Special thanks to:
DUer1, DUer2, DUer3, DUer4, DUer5, and DUer6
for their invaluable assistance with this edition.[/center][/font]
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by jberryhill
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023044896
[font color=black] Do you know where your shit goes?
For those of you who do not have your own septic system, but are hooked into a sewer system...
Serious question:
Do you know, as you sit here right now, where your shit goes after you flush the toilet?
And I mean specifically, so that if I handed you a map, you could point to a spot on it and say, "My shit goes here!"
And, if you do know, do you know how it gets there? How many other people's shit goes there? And what happens to it there?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by Major Nikon
[font color=black] I'm pretty sure it goes downhill
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by Tx4obama
[font color=black] I heard someone say that NSA is collecting it all, then they do analysis on it to see what everyone
is eating 
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 40 by customerserviceguy
[font color=black] Ridiculous
They're only keeping metapoop.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 43 by FSogol
[font color=black] As a mechancial engineer, I often get to decide where your shit goes.
How do you like them apples? 
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=#800080] [center] Poll by In_The_Wind
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018416850
[font color=black] Do we fart while we sleep ?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by LiberalEsto
[font color=black] Genteel ladies never participate in such vulgar practices
If anything, we might -- and I emphasize might -- evoke ethereal nocturnal zephyrs.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 5 by pipi_k
[font color=black] You call 'em
zephyrs...
I call 'em Nor'easters...
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 14 by winter is coming
[font color=black] Maybe it's zephyrs in your bedroom.
In mine, global warming has clearly contributed to violent weather patterns. 
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 7 by ConcernedCanuk
[font color=black] The answer my friend, is blowin In The Wind!
.
.
.
Quite an interesting topic for someone with your username!
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by applegrove
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018415766
[font color=black] WHY! WHY! WHY is my keyboard not rendering the proper punctuation
marks (insert question mark here).
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by pscot
[font color=black] I think that's a new feature
that came with your last Windows update. You'll learn to love it. Or not.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by applegrove
[font color=black] I shut down my whole computer and rebooted. Problem gone.
Reply continuation text
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by pinboy3niner
[font color=black] Good!
That could be crippling for a Canadian, eh?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by Enrique
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023056895
[font color=black] Michael Hastings' widow to Geraldo: You are a sick bastard
Geraldo hasn't forgiven Hastings, even in death, for reporting on his beloved General.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by warrprayer
[font color=black] Geraldo has nothing to worry about
they only murder real journalists.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 17 by red dog 1
[font color=black] I was taping that show where the white supremicist threw the chair at him
and hit him in his big nose.
I must have watched & re-watched that segment 100 times.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 20 by MADem
[font color=black] Now he has the smaller nose...and don't ever kiss his forehead, because you'll be kissing his ass.
The plastic surgeon took fat out of his ass and put it in his forehead (to say nothing of other parts of his face) to smooth out his wrinkles.
No, I am not making this up...!
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/211526/CHEEK-TO-CHEEK-FAT-TRANSFER-FLESHES-OUT-GERALDOS-LINES.html?pg=all
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 39 by mountain grammy
[font color=black] wondering what to do with my excess ass fat... will send it to Geraldo.
Reply continuation text
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 55 by MADem
[font color=black] Ha ha ha!! He's so vain, he probably kisses himself in the mirror every morning...
So he'd be kissing YOUR ass!!
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 5 by lpbk2713
[font color=black] She's pointing out the obvious.
He works for Faux. Therefore it goes without saying that he is a sick bastard.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by warrior1
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023048236
[font color=black] Statistics on phone calls, text messages, emails,etc.
[/center]http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_phone_calls_are_made_daily_in_the_US
Question: Hope many on average phones are made a day in US
I estimate about 2 billion calls are made in a day.
http://email.about.com/od/emailtrivia/f/emails_per_day.htm
Question: How Many Emails Are Sent Every Day?
Answer: Statistics, extrapolations and counting by Radicati Group from April 2010 estimate the number of emails sent per day (in 2010) to be around 294 billion.
294 billion messages per day means more than 2.8 million emails are sent every second and some 90 trillion emails are sent per year. Around 90% of these millions and trillions of message are but spam and viruses.
The genuine emails are sent by around 1.9 billion email users.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Text_messaging
In the United States, text messaging is also popular; as reported by CTIA in December 2009, the 286 million US subscribers sent 152.7 billion text messages per month, for an average of 534 messages per subscriber per month. The Pew Research Center found in May 2010 that 72% of U.S. adult cellphone users send and receive text messages.
In the U.S., SMS is often charged both at the sender and at the destination, but, unlike phone calls, it cannot be rejected or dismissed. The reasons for lower uptake than other countries are varied—many users have unlimited "mobile-to-mobile" minutes, high monthly minute allotments, or unlimited service. Moreover, push to talk services offer the instant connectivity of SMS and are typically unlimited. Furthermore, the integration between competing providers and technologies necessary for cross-network text messaging has only been available recently. Some providers originally charged extra to enable use of text, further reducing its usefulness and appeal. In the third quarter of 2006, at least 12 billion text messages crossed AT&T's network, up almost 15 percent from the preceding quarter.
In the United States, while texting is widely popular among the ages of 13–22 years old, it is increasing among adults and business users as well. The age that a child receives his/her first cell phone has also decreased, making text messaging a very popular way of communication for all ages. The number of texts being sent in the United States has gone up over the years as the price has gone down to an average of $0.10 per text sent and received.
In order to convince more customers to include text messaging plans, some major cellphone providers have recently increased the price to send and receive text messages from $.15 to $.20 per message. This is over $1,300 per megabyte. Many providers offer unlimited plans, which can result in a lower rate per text given sufficient volume.
So, tell me how the NSA manages to listen, read all this information?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 6 by FSogol
[font color=black] I should go work for the NSA, I listen to people's phone calls when in the grocery store.
[/center]They fall into 4 categories:
1. Self actualization: I am here.............in the produce aisle
2. Human Desires: "I don't know where they keep the Ho-hos" or in a Barry White voice, "Hey Baby..."
3. Incomprehensible: "uh huh.....yeah, uh huh..."
4. Never-ending: So Suze says to Brenda, no way! and I say, you didna girl, so she says nope, I 'm not play'n that, so I say...."
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=black] [center] Reply 2 by FSogol
[font color=black] So, tell me how the NSA manages to listen, read all this information, with a measly $20 million?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by HappyMe
[font color=black] Workers get paid in popcorn.
They have to have something to munch on while they sift through the kitteh pictures, drunk texts, and horrifically boring phone calls.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 9 by randome
[font color=black] It's one hell of an If statement. In VBA.
If Instr(text, "kitteh"
goto forgetIt
elseif Instr(text, "mom"
goto forgetIt
elseif Instr(text, "poser"
goto forgetIt
And so on and so on.
Of course a devious terrorist would write something like this:
"Don't forget to tell the kitteh that muffins will arrive at 8pm."
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by Galraedia
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014514612
[font color=black] McConnell: ‘Absurd’ to ban corporations from having same rights as ‘people’
[/center]Source: Raw Story
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) on Friday said that he opposed a constitutional amendment to ban corporations from having the same rights as people because the idea was “absurd.”
Speaking to the conservative American Enterprise Institute, McConnell accused President Barack Obama’s administration of using a “culture of intimidation” to stifle free speech.
Following the remarks, the Washington Free Beacon’s Lachlan Markay asked McConnell for his thoughts on a constitutional amendment proposed by Sens. Jon Tester (D-MT) and Chris Murphy (D-CT) to clarify that corporations are not “people” and restore Congress’ ability to limit corporate influence in elections.
“Well you have to give them some points for not hiding it,” McConnell quipped. “They are uncomfortable with corporate free speech obviously.”
Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/06/21/mcconnell-absurd-to-ban-corporations-from-having-same-rights-as-people/
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 13 by ZRT2209
[font color=black] What does God have to say about it?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by marmar
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023045720
[font color=black] Just when you think they can't get any more foaming-at-the-mouth insane ......
GOP Congressman: Abortions Should Be Banned Because Male Fetuses Masturbate
Posted on Jun 18, 2013
[/center]During debate Monday on a House bill that would ban virtually all abortions starting 20 weeks after conception, Rep. Michael Burgess, R-Texas, made what likely amounts to be the most absurd argument ever for why the country should outlaw the medical procedure.
“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” Burgess said during a late-night House Rules Committee meeting on the Republican bill. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”
That’s right. Burgess is suggesting abortions should be banned as early as 15 weeks after fertilization because male fetuses masturbate. And he knows this because—as a former ob-gyn—he’s witnessed it himself (but apparently this is a phenomena he’s seen only in male fetuses, not female ones).
“There is no question in my mind that a baby at 20 weeks after conception can feel pain,” he said. “The fact of the matter is, I argue with the chairman because I thought the date was far too late. We should be setting this at 15 weeks, 16 weeks.” ........................(more)
Complete piece
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by LonePirate
[font color=black] Is Burgess now guilty of possessing/viewing child pornography?
If he wants to make such ridiculous claims, perhaps he should be investigated and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 5 by Initech
[font color=black] I think The Masturbating Fetuses are playing Austin City Limits this year.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by boston bean
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023038822
[font color=black] Texas Congressman: Masturbating Fetuses Prove Need for Abortion Ban
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 21 by Hassin Bin Sober
[font color=black] Life begins at fwap fwap fwap.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=#800080] [center] OP by ChoppinBroccoli
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023053750
[font color=black] CNN Isn't Afraid To Tackle The Hard-Hitting Topics Of The Day
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by FSogol
[font color=black] Was he busted down to Lieutenant Commander because his cereal removes the skin from your gums?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 20 by kentauros
[font color=black] If so, then he advanced in the ranks again,
and by the 31st century was an Admiral 
http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-fictional.html
"Admiral Crunch" and "Archduke Chocula" were both 31st century breakfast cereals depicted on the animated TV series "Futurama". They were seen on the second episode of the series, episode 1ACV02, "The Series Has Landed". The routine went like this:
[div class=”excerpt”]Fry: "I'm never gonna get used to the thirty-first century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?"
Leela: "Well if you don't like that, try some Archduke Chocula."
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 31 by awoke_in_2003
[font color=black] Caffeinated bacon and baconated grapefruit?...
Color me there.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 6 by Major Hogwash
[font color=black] You can't make this stuff up.
Next week: Count Chocula, not a real member of royalty.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 7 by AndyA
[font color=black] This is better than what I thought it was.
[/center]Figured Kim K. found a pimple on her butt, Beiber got stopped for speeding (again), some celebrity wore the same outfit that another celeb had already worn, one of the "Real Housewives" got into a verbal confrontation with another housewife, new photos of a totally ripped __________________ (insert name of favorite star) have appeared, Rand Paul said something stupid, Michele Bachmann said something stupid, Rush Limbaugh said something stupid, Louie Gohmert said something stupid, Jim Inhofe said something stupid, Harry Reid threatened to deal with the filibuster situation again, Paris Hilton has done something outrageous for the free publicity, The Donald said something stupid again, Lindsay Lohan is back in court for something, another reality show has been revealed to be a fraud, Sarah Palin said something stupid, etc., etc., etc.
Gotta admit, they're getting more creative: Cap'n Crunch is a new one. What's next?
The Leprechaun hawking Lucky Charms isn't real?
Anything they can do to divert attention from the real issues. Why talk about jobs, corruption in government, people in Congress who lie to us, failure to prosecute Wall Street, etc., when you've got pimples on the butt of people who are famous for no reason at all?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 10 by arcane1
[font color=black] The Leprechaun is real, but he's in the country illegally
:rofl
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 14 by valerief
[font color=black] T'is the Cap'n News Network, matey! Aarrrr! nt
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 15 by Recursion
[font color=black] Any commissioned commander of a vessel is called by right "Captain"
These people can't even get their stupid non-stories right...
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 28 by Buns_of_Fire
[font color=black] But was he REALLY commissioned?
Either way, I want to see his birth certificate and schedule of service to his crunchry.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 30 by zappaman
[font color=black] I have actually had that debate!
Our excuse was that we were stoned.
Could that be an explanation here...?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=#800080] [center] OP by snooper2
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023060763
[font color=black] So what am I supposed to do with my Paula Deen cookware set?
That shit wasn't cheap
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by IDemo
[font color=black] Continue using it but omit butter and 'N words' from all recipes n/t
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 7 by bunnies
[font color=black] lol!
toss your oodles with pine uts and add utmeg to taste. Garnish with aval oranges. 
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 12 by QC
[font color=black] You could whip up a big batch of Klan Chowder in that stockpot. n/t
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 14 by Bay Boy
[font color=black] I corrected the ad copy...
...Rubberized handle for a cool touch; copper-plated ring for convenient hanging
Tempered glass lids lock in flavors and provide easy monitoring of cooking progress
Oven safe to 350 degrees F; whites only
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 45 by pipi_k
[font color=black] Well...
If you catch the pot calling the kettle black, kick it to the curb
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by malaise
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023039037
[font color=black] ''Baked Alaska'': 90-95° temps shatter all-time records
[/center]http://www.katu.com/blogs/weather/All-time-record-heat-in-Alaska-has-locals-sweltering-211932651.html
Many people head to Alaska to visit the snow-capped mountains and awe-inspiring glaciers.
Monday, sitting on a glacier might not have been a bad idea.
A major ridge of high pressure brought intense heat to south-central Alaska with four towns experiencing heat never before felt in their record-keeping history.
* Talkeetna hit 96 degrees (Old record: 91, set three dates, most recently... Sunday)
* Cordova hit 90 (Old record: 89, set July 16, 1995)
* Valdez also hit 90 in the city (Old record: 87 set on back-to-back days of June 25-26 in 1953)
* Seward hit 88 degrees, breaking the old record of 87 set on July 4, 1999.
Remember air conditioning is in extreme short supply there, if not non-existent.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by marmar
[font color=black] It's so hot Sarah Palin's IQ soared to 75.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by Robb
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023045929
[font color=black] Gun owners target family event (Stay classy!)
[/center]Advocates are encouraging gun owners to bring their weapons to Open Streets family-oriented events in Minneapolis and St. Paul.
A group of gun owners have set their sights on a series of Twin Cities neighborhood family events for their own gun-toting get-togethers, beginning this weekend.
The gun owners “meet-up” events, in which the promoters suggest guns be carried openly and not just concealed, came as a surprise to some city officials and organizers of the Open Streets neighborhood gatherings.
“I’m shocked and saddened,” said Nancy Homans, policy director for St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman. “It seems like guns isn’t the right kind of activity for this event. We’re not even allowing alcohol. … I’m not sure there’s much of a connection between these two events.”
The Facebook page promoting Open Streets-Open Carry says gun owners will add “their own twist” to the neighborhood events by “encouraging ‘open carry’ for pro-active, positive visibility of law abiding gun owners participating in normal social activity … Like normal people!”
(snip)
In an e-mail to Minneapolis city officials, Shelley Leeson, the gun group’s director, said she was informing them of her group’s plans as a professional courtesy. “I do not find it necessary to seek ‘permission’ or give ‘warnings’ to police about our lawful activities.”
Read More: http://www.startribune.com/local/minneapolis/212085201.html
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 5 by Turbineguy
[font color=black] No alcohol?
I would never go to a gun event where no alcohol was permitted.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=#800080] [center] OP by Earth_First
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023057200
[font color=black] We've got a live one!
This is the type of crap that I'm surrounded by in Conservative Western, New York...
Yes, the license plate reads 'NRA R US'
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by Liberal Veteran
[font color=black] That van couldn't be more creepy if it had "Free Candy" painted on it.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 5 by DisgustipatedinCA
[font color=black] No blue stripe on the van. I question the driver's patriotism
Also, do you know what the back of the van says? It looks like it could be God Knows....or something else with G and Kn...
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 8 by Liberal Veteran
[font color=black] It might say "God Bless the KKK"
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 11 by Earth_First
[font color=black] You wanted the back...?
There's a whole other side to the van plastered in a similar fashion, I wasn't able to capture a photograph...
This guy lives in the same community as me?! J.F.C.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 30 by scarletwoman
[font color=black] Wait! Are those bullet holes in the back?!?!
I must say, they certainly add to the overall effect...
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 18 by Scuba
[font color=black] 275 horses under the hood, and one jackass behind the wheel.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=#800080] [center] OP by TalkingDog
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023039149
[font color=black] OH NOES1!! SATIN!
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by annabanana
[font color=black] Wait.. I thought we elected muslin?
I just don't cotton to these threads..
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 26 by Blue Owl
[font color=black] Muslin... Satin... The fabrics of their pathetic lives...
n/t
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 50 by GraniteDem
[font color=black] Those racists ......
are out of their Cotton picking minds!
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 131 by Tommy_Carcetti
[font color=black] I thought we elected the second coming of Linen. nt
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 47 by tarheelsunc
[font color=black] False...
we elected al-gora, and we got satin instead.
[font color=#FF0000] Many, many, MANY more puns at the link... DUzy to all! [/font]
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=#800080] [center] OP by Major Nikon
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018415285
[font color=black] Watch out
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by damnedifIknow
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023060863
[font color=black] Spank your wife for Jesus
[/center]"Christian Domestic Discipline, or CDD as its adherents call it, is a movement that seeks to carry out God's will. Which specific plan of God's? Oh, you know, just that all women obey their husbands fastidiously — a dynamic that CDD thinks is best maintained through doling out out corporal punishments. Its few thousand practitioners, however, claim that it's not domestic abuse."
We offer a LOVING approach to all who wish to learn and grow in a traditional Male, head of household, female submissive, Christian Domestic Discipline relationship."
http://jezebel.com/spanking-for-jesus-is-exactly-as-fucked-up-as-it-soun-514271243
Amen 
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 5 by riqster
[font color=black] I'll have to consult my Jesus Magic 8-Ball before responding:
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by Bay Boy
[font color=black] There is also "Spank it for Jesus"
but that's slightly different.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by UrbScotty
http://www.democraticunderground.com/11034586
[font color=black] Woman allegedly bites off finger of another woman during fight over cigarettes
[/center]A fight over 50 cents and a cigarette resulted in a Muskegon woman’s finger being bitten off and spit out in a front yard Monday evening on Southern Avenue.
Danielle Lott, 46, who lives in the 400 block of West Southern where the brawl occurred, said Tuesday all that’s left of her finger is "a nub.”
The finger was bitten off just under the first knuckle.
It was gathered up at the scene and transported, along with Lott, to a local hospital Monday night. But the damage to the digit was too extensive, and it could not be reattached, Lott said.
http://www.mlive.com/news/muskegon/index.ssf/2013/06/post_265.html
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by Dr. Strange
[font color=black] They'd rather fight...
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by Arugula Latte
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018415315
[font color=black] Well, we can all go on with our lives now. Kim Kardashian's baby's name has been revealed.
"Kaidence Donda West"
Which brings up the topic -- Truly Bad Baby Names
What baby names make you cringe?
I can't stand the super trendy, weirdly spelled ones (Helllooooo, "Kaidence" . The worst one, though, IMO, is "Nevaeh" -- "heaven" spelled backwards. Gag. It seems to be popular with fundies, not surprisingly.
Others?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 46 by KamaAina
[font color=black] Who named their kid Apple?
Steve Jobs?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by ret5hd
[font color=black] Has anyone used the name "Trendi" yet? If not, they should.
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[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by NightWatcher
[font color=black] Will the name pass the Walmart Test?
What will the name sound like when you scream it out while looking for them in the aisles of Walmart? I heard a woman screaming "Serenity, Serenity!" The irony was great.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 5 by Arugula Latte
[font color=black] middle name: "Now!"
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 10 by Quantess
[font color=black] What's up with people naming their kids Blue?
t sounds exactly like blew.
Yes, it's a pretty color, but it's not that pretty of a word.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 27 by Blue_In_AK
[font color=black] Whachu talkin' about???
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 18 by avebury
[font color=black] We have a summer intern with the first name of Princess.
My reaction when I heard - Are you serious? She will be going into the navy at the end of the year. Boot camp will probably be interesting.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 21 by Boomerproud
[font color=black] I went to school with a a girl named Mary Juana.
I heard a story from my best friend's mom who worked with a guy whose last name was Lear. He had twin daughters named Chrystal Chanda Lear and Gay Cava Lear. I bet he thought he was being so clever.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 28 by Blue_In_AK
[font color=black] I'm doing data entry of names being gathered
for a ballot referendum here, and I've seen some doozies. The weird spellings kill me because I'm trying to match them up with the voter rolls, and people's printing is horrendous.
The funniest one I've seen was Grey Skythes. Mr. and Mrs. Skythes probably thought they were very clever.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 33 by MiddleFingerMom
[font color=black] It could have been worse... It could have been Blue Skythes.
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Oops.
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No offense.
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[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by HarveyDarkey
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018415405
[font color=black] I want one of these
and the kayak is pretty nice too:
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by MiddleFingerMom
[font color=black] I would want a transparent seat so that I could moon snorkelers and such. Otherwise...
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... what's the point?
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[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by pinboy3niner
[font color=black] When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, thaaaaat's MFM's dory
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 9 by ConcernedCanuk
[font color=black] you want a bikini?
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and that ain't a kayak
it's a canoe/kayak
but it IS awesome!
(I stole the girl)
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [font color=black] [center] On an OP by onehandle
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023064822
[font color=black] SUPERMOON On Sunday! Runnnnnnn!
[/center]Supermoon June 2013: Everything You Need To Know About Perigee Moon This Weekend
One of the biggest celestial events of the year is almost upon us!
Set to peak on Sunday, June 23, the 2013 supermoon is noteworthy not only for the remarkable sight it will present to skywatchers but also because it will be the largest supermoon this year.
Also known as a perigee moon, the event occurs when a full moon lines up with the Earth and the sun at a specific point in its orbit, called the lunar perigee. That's the point at which the moon is nearest to Earth as it traces its elliptical path around our planet.
Since it's closer to us, the moon appears up to 14 percent bigger and 30 percent brighter than usual. Coined by astrologer Richard Nolle, the term "supermoon" essentially means a bigger and brighter full moon.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/20/supermoon-june-2013-perigee-moon_n_3461899.html
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by BlueStreak
[font color=black] I think that thing is Mooning us
= new reply since forum marked as read
