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If you had it to do all over again... (Original Post) Indi Guy May 2013 OP
Not sure, my dear Indi Guy... CaliforniaPeggy May 2013 #1
The very first thing that comes to mind Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #2
That's funny.... I would have stayed in VA instead of moving to PA! femmocrat May 2013 #11
Crazy circles and coincidences! Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #12
We probably crossed paths on the Turnpike or I-70! femmocrat May 2013 #13
I-70 for sure! Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #14
"It" is life and... CBHagman May 2013 #3
I'd have picked different parents, to start with. nt LiberalEsto May 2013 #4
+1 In_The_Wind May 2013 #41
For better or worse it made me what I am! ohiosmith May 2013 #5
There's a science fiction short story. ... Demoiselle May 2013 #15
Yes! Sound of Thunder! Very good! ohiosmith May 2013 #16
Thank you for the title! I'm going to find it and re-read it... Demoiselle May 2013 #19
Recent movie on that premise. trof May 2013 #22
Butterfly Effect? ohiosmith May 2013 #60
That's it. Was on the toob recently. trof May 2013 #64
"The Butterfly Effect" nomorenomore08 May 2013 #61
+1 ConcernedCanuk May 2013 #26
+ 1 Bertha Venation May 2013 #57
I wouldn't have moved in with Georgia olddots May 2013 #6
Last Saturday. Iggo May 2013 #7
I wouldn't have married at 16 years old and quit high school. RebelOne May 2013 #8
When I was 22, I met the most incredible young woman DFW May 2013 #9
I fucked up a whole lot since I was 22 sir pball May 2013 #18
There's no one "true way" to get there DFW May 2013 #37
I have a time machine. hunter May 2013 #10
"It" would be the exact same thing, warts and all. sir pball May 2013 #17
Heard the song "This" by Darrius Rucker? - great lyrics and even better music. LuckyLib May 2013 #66
I would have gotten the soup instead of the sandwich. Apophis May 2013 #20
I would have gone to the store with him. ScreamingMeemie May 2013 #21
... CaliforniaPeggy May 2013 #25
-- Tuesday Afternoon May 2013 #30
! In_The_Wind May 2013 #42
Can I wait until tomorrow and go back just 1 day? Incitatus May 2013 #23
The single biggest regret of my life mythology May 2013 #24
I wouldn't have changed my major to please my parents. IrishEyes May 2013 #27
Remembering that I wrote a manual for Exchange 2003 whistler162 May 2013 #28
go to law school BainsBane May 2013 #29
How do you think... Indi Guy May 2013 #38
well BainsBane May 2013 #50
Haha. I thanks the gods everyday... a la izquierda May 2013 #47
I'm gainfully employed too BainsBane May 2013 #48
It was touch and go for awhile... a la izquierda May 2013 #49
Wall Street? BainsBane May 2013 #51
Answering phones for a company... a la izquierda May 2013 #52
wow, that's a lot of loans BainsBane May 2013 #54
Thanks! a la izquierda May 2013 #55
I would have stayed when I went and went when I stayed. Tuesday Afternoon May 2013 #31
Retired when I was 48 instead of when I was 50. Moondog May 2013 #32
I would have 840high May 2013 #33
I would have went to Canada sorefeet May 2013 #34
Life. Assuming that I get to take the lessons of this life with me... Locut0s May 2013 #35
Have you ever considered yoga? a la izquierda May 2013 #46
I've occasionally pondered the roads not taken HeiressofBickworth May 2013 #36
I would go back only a few years lost-in-nj May 2013 #39
I would let her explain why she wanted to break up. Xipe Totec May 2013 #40
Never should have gotten married and moved to New York. In_The_Wind May 2013 #43
Dont marry Cathy G mysuzuki2 May 2013 #44
Not much...except I'd have gone on study abroad... a la izquierda May 2013 #45
I would be more outgoing in high school Jamaal510 May 2013 #53
It's great to have good plans, isn't it? Bertha Venation May 2013 #58
Thanks! Jamaal510 May 2013 #59
College Bertha Venation May 2013 #56
I would've nipped certain things in the bud, before they started. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #62
No doubt. Indi Guy May 2013 #71
Who knows? I don't really go for the 12 Step sort of approach, and I'm an introvert anyhow. nomorenomore08 May 2013 #73
You don't necessarily have to do the 12 step thing... Indi Guy Jun 2013 #74
No way I would do it over again. No effing way. nt raccoon May 2013 #63
+1 ConcernedCanuk Jun 2013 #75
There have been so many forks in my road Art_from_Ark May 2013 #65
The Big Bang TrogL May 2013 #67
Plank's constant is an arbitrary number... Indi Guy May 2013 #69
one of two things tabbycat31 May 2013 #68
I would have gotten on that bus to Chicago... Earth_First May 2013 #70
I would not have taken the job I have now. alarimer May 2013 #72
" I wish I didn't eat the whole thing" olddots Jun 2013 #76
Ah yes, I remember it well (don't forget the 'Plop plop - fizz fizz')... Indi Guy Jun 2013 #81
Majored in PR in NYC rather than Political Theory in DC. Chan790 Jun 2013 #77
Not listened to people who made me feel inadequate. Quantess Jun 2013 #78
Feeling sorry for my Mother. Doc_Technical Jun 2013 #79
Probably double major in French and some sort of textile design Flaxbee Jun 2013 #80
I would have had a LOT more fun with my best friend in high school.... Rowdyboy Jun 2013 #82

Sekhmets Daughter

(7,515 posts)
2. The very first thing that comes to mind
Sat May 18, 2013, 02:01 PM
May 2013

is that I would have moved from VA to CA in 1969 as I had been planning to do. Things happened and I remained in VA.

But what I have to ask is: 'would I even recognize myself today if I had done so?' And what if that person would answer...'I would have stayed in VA instead of moving to CA'?

It's fun to speculate, but that's because we always view the alternative as the better decision... I'm not certain that's true.

femmocrat

(28,394 posts)
11. That's funny.... I would have stayed in VA instead of moving to PA!
Sat May 18, 2013, 05:46 PM
May 2013

Also 1969! CA wasn't an option, though.

I moved back to PA because that is where my family was. Now my son is living in VA! Life is a crazy circle sometimes.

Sekhmets Daughter

(7,515 posts)
12. Crazy circles and coincidences!
Sat May 18, 2013, 05:51 PM
May 2013

My family moved to PA in 1972. I was in NJ by that time, newly married. I often wonder what different turns my life would have taken, but I don't look back in regret.

CBHagman

(16,984 posts)
3. "It" is life and...
Sat May 18, 2013, 02:05 PM
May 2013

...I'd have been kinder, I've have enjoyed experiences and people more, and I'd not have worried what others thought unless someone had actually been hurt. That matters, but many other things don't.

On edit: Of course my life is not over (at least not as of this posting! ), and I'm referring to my earlier years.

Demoiselle

(6,787 posts)
15. There's a science fiction short story. ...
Sat May 18, 2013, 06:05 PM
May 2013

Is it Bradbury? A group of explorers time-travels back to prehistoric times and one of them steps on a butterfly by accident...And then when they go back to the future...everything is horrible and sucky.
(Yes, thank you, I've always been noted for my intelligent literary analysis.)

 

olddots

(10,237 posts)
6. I wouldn't have moved in with Georgia
Sat May 18, 2013, 02:30 PM
May 2013

I wouldn't have eaten at Buzzy's Roast Beef in Boston and I would have joined that one band I hated .

Iggo

(47,545 posts)
7. Last Saturday.
Sat May 18, 2013, 02:45 PM
May 2013

I'd've left the bicycle home and walked.

Then I wouldnt've dislocated the 3rd and 4th fingers on my left hand.

Of course, I could've been hit by a crosstown bus instead, so you know, whatevs.

RebelOne

(30,947 posts)
8. I wouldn't have married at 16 years old and quit high school.
Sat May 18, 2013, 02:48 PM
May 2013

But despite being divorced at 25 with 2 kids, I haven't fared badly in my life. I have done a lot that even college graduates haven't.

DFW

(54,326 posts)
9. When I was 22, I met the most incredible young woman
Sat May 18, 2013, 02:50 PM
May 2013

She was tall, gorgeous, totally natural, loved to cook, travel, was studying to become a professional social worker, had guys chasing after her in droves. We were introduced by a mutual acquaintance She spoke little English, though I knew some of her language.

I figured guys like me NEVER have a chance with girls like that, so why even bother, just to set myself up for the inevitable let-down?

It was either me or my defeatist attitude (brought on by being put down by countless girls I had liked and struck out with in the past).

But then, I got a hold of myself. One of us had to go, so I kicked my defeatist attitude out the door, and never looked back. Hell, even women like her end up marrying SOMEBODY, so why NOT me? And what do you know? We're together now, 39 years later.

If I had to do it all over again, you had better believe I'd not do it ANY other way.

sir pball

(4,740 posts)
18. I fucked up a whole lot since I was 22
Sat May 18, 2013, 07:14 PM
May 2013

And now at 33 I finally have my better half - and you better bet I wouldn't change anything, either. Been a long, hard road - but sometimes that's the best way

hunter

(38,309 posts)
10. I have a time machine.
Sat May 18, 2013, 03:05 PM
May 2013

Every time I've followed the advice of my future selves I've fucked things up worse.

My future selves, at least those who bother to come back in time and give me advice, are ALL ASSHOLES.

I figure the ones who don't come back in time are okay with the way I am now.


sir pball

(4,740 posts)
17. "It" would be the exact same thing, warts and all.
Sat May 18, 2013, 07:12 PM
May 2013

Each good choice, each misstep, every love, every colossal fuckup, all the hard work, all the mistakes...the sum total of my life to this point, for better or for worse, has ended up with me proposing to the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. And her saying yes.

I change one thing, no matter how small, and it won't end up here. And that would crush me.

 

mythology

(9,527 posts)
24. The single biggest regret of my life
Sat May 18, 2013, 08:56 PM
May 2013

is not telling my dad to get out of it before I did. Every other regret stems from letting him influence me for longer than I should have.

 

whistler162

(11,155 posts)
28. Remembering that I wrote a manual for Exchange 2003
Sat May 18, 2013, 09:17 PM
May 2013

disaster recovery using HTML when I was filling out my Civil Service application. Would have put me higher on the eligibility list and saved getting fired, for 4 months, and probably burning my toes and about $10,000 in medical bills!


All for the want of a nail.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
50. well
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:24 PM
May 2013

I got a PhD. Being an academic is a very solitary life, and I didn't take well to it. I never liked it. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a lawyer, but I think I was unduly swayed by negative views of lawyers and law school by friends in college. I think I could have been a really good lawyer, and since that degree is so flexible in terms of what one can do with it, who knows what I might have ended up doing. I probably would have ended up doing anti-death penalty work.

a la izquierda

(11,791 posts)
47. Haha. I thanks the gods everyday...
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:20 PM
May 2013

that I didn't go to law school.

However, I am gainfully employed. If I wasn't, I might be singing a different tune

a la izquierda

(11,791 posts)
49. It was touch and go for awhile...
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:23 PM
May 2013

Thankfully, a university saw fit to give me a job. My other option was Wall Street with my dad. Um, no thanks.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
51. Wall Street?
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:25 PM
May 2013

My dad was a cab driver. No such option for me. I actually willingly left a tenure track job. I didn't like it.

a la izquierda

(11,791 posts)
52. Answering phones for a company...
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:30 PM
May 2013

better than unemployment and $100000 in student loans. I grew up dirt poor.

Moondog

(4,833 posts)
32. Retired when I was 48 instead of when I was 50.
Sat May 18, 2013, 09:31 PM
May 2013

The last two years were a waste of time, and a lot of pointless aggravation.

sorefeet

(1,241 posts)
34. I would have went to Canada
Sat May 18, 2013, 10:10 PM
May 2013

instead of joining the Army. My lottery number was 44, guaranteed infantry in Viet Nam if they drafted me.

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
35. Life. Assuming that I get to take the lessons of this life with me...
Sat May 18, 2013, 10:39 PM
May 2013

Mine is fucked up 6 ways to Sunday.

a la izquierda

(11,791 posts)
46. Have you ever considered yoga?
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:19 PM
May 2013

Even just doing it at home. It's very soothing and grounding.

Sorry for the OT response.

HeiressofBickworth

(2,682 posts)
36. I've occasionally pondered the roads not taken
Sun May 19, 2013, 12:02 AM
May 2013

But each road not taken also gave me something I appreciated.

For example, I should never have married my first husband. We were never emotionally suited to each other. I spent five of the loneliest years of my life as that man's wife. HOWEVER, by beautiful, intelligent daughter was the product of that marriage and I wouldn't exchange her for anything.

lost-in-nj

(18,339 posts)
39. I would go back only a few years
Sun May 19, 2013, 06:23 PM
May 2013

and change a decision I made when I was lonely..

woulda, coulda, shoulda


lost

Xipe Totec

(43,889 posts)
40. I would let her explain why she wanted to break up.
Sun May 19, 2013, 06:28 PM
May 2013

Instead of walking away without hearing her out.

That choice has haunted me for thirty five years.

a la izquierda

(11,791 posts)
45. Not much...except I'd have gone on study abroad...
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:18 PM
May 2013

as an undergraduate. And maybe I'd have visited Europe.

I have a very nice life, minus my student loans

Jamaal510

(10,893 posts)
53. I would be more outgoing in high school
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:34 PM
May 2013

I would ask for all of my friends' numbers so we could meet up outside of school and shoot some hoop. I literally have nobody to hang out with on weekends now because I lost contact with everybody I went to high school with. It was foolish of me to not even bother trying to keep in contact with anyone.

I would also try harder to meet girls. I was shy and mistakingly believed that guys could wait for girls to approach them like how it works vice-versa, but I eventually learned that it is very difficult to get girls to make the 1st move, even if a guy does happen to be rather good-looking or well-groomed. Sadly, I ended up going to the prom alone because of my shyness. It drove me nuts seeing guys who didn't even dress as fashionable as me or who may not have been as athletic or have as high GPA as me have better luck with the ladies than I did. I spent a lot of time racking my brain about how guys like them were able to get their time of day while I spent my Friday and Saturday nights alone.

My best hope for making new friends now is when I finish community college and transfer to Humboldt State University this fall.

Bertha Venation

(21,484 posts)
58. It's great to have good plans, isn't it?
Mon May 20, 2013, 03:03 PM
May 2013

Don't let anything hold you back from making those friends. I hope you have a great time at Humboldt State and exceed your wildest dreams.

Bertha Venation

(21,484 posts)
56. College
Mon May 20, 2013, 02:46 PM
May 2013

I should have studied music and sports medicine.

Instead I spent three years at a Baptist college, majoring in Bible and English (in that order), and getting engaged to a man while dodging the psychotic, stalking ex-lover who would never leave me alone.

I learned a lot of good there, just precious little of it academic.

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
62. I would've nipped certain things in the bud, before they started.
Mon May 20, 2013, 03:30 PM
May 2013

Let's just say some habits are very hard to break...

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
73. Who knows? I don't really go for the 12 Step sort of approach, and I'm an introvert anyhow.
Sat May 25, 2013, 06:37 PM
May 2013

But maybe...

Indi Guy

(3,992 posts)
74. You don't necessarily have to do the 12 step thing...
Tue Jun 11, 2013, 03:32 PM
Jun 2013

...to find a spiritual solution (tap into a power greater than yourself).

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
65. There have been so many forks in my road
Mon May 20, 2013, 10:09 PM
May 2013

if I had taken a different turn at any of them, my life would be completely different than what it is today. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. And right now I find myself standing at yet another fork...

Indi Guy

(3,992 posts)
69. Plank's constant is an arbitrary number...
Wed May 22, 2013, 01:50 AM
May 2013

...conceived of by visually challenged physicists. Astrophysicist Nassim Haramein seems to have discovered the holy grail -- the "unified theory" of the universe (exposing Plank's constant as meaningless).

Here's 4 hours you won't regret spending...

tabbycat31

(6,336 posts)
68. one of two things
Tue May 21, 2013, 05:33 PM
May 2013

First thing is college--- I listened to my mom instead of myself and let her steer me off a cliff when it came to college choices (size of the school, etc). I threw away my 20s.

The second thing is the men that I tend to fall for. My first love was dating 3 girls at once and would make an ideal polygamist. My second love is an alcoholic that I was ready to punch in the throat when I saw him last week. I have reason to believe he ruined my career thus my becoming increasingly desperate to get the hell out of my state once and for all. Those two have made me believe I am a loser magnet and I have to settle for anyone remotely attracted to me.

(I am sort of seeing Mr. Wonderful right now even though he lives 6 hours away and I hope to every higher power in the world that things work out).

Earth_First

(14,910 posts)
70. I would have gotten on that bus to Chicago...
Wed May 22, 2013, 05:53 AM
May 2013

It would have been the only (and ultimately last) time I would have had the chance to have seen the Grateful Dead.

Of course this isn't "it" however it was the first thing that popped into my head this morning. I'm not sure why.

Maybe its part of my longing to have taken some risks earlier in life that involved a desire to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do by myself. I've always been a social creature who enjoys sharing experiences with those dear to me. If I had gotten on that bus, how would things have been different in life.

Well, I met my wife a few years later by NOT getting on that bus to Chicago, so all is a matter of what's meant to be...so its not all bad at all...

alarimer

(16,245 posts)
72. I would not have taken the job I have now.
Sat May 25, 2013, 05:53 PM
May 2013

It ruined the only long-term relationship I have ever had. I hate the town I'm in and the people who live here. I will never find love again, not among these rednecks. And financially I took a major hit.

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
78. Not listened to people who made me feel inadequate.
Tue Jun 11, 2013, 04:05 PM
Jun 2013

I was too trusting, too naive. It was just another power play, I realized too late.

Flaxbee

(13,661 posts)
80. Probably double major in French and some sort of textile design
Tue Jun 11, 2013, 09:36 PM
Jun 2013

or other arts/crafts design as a second major.

Then picked up another language.

Not sure if I'd still have gone to law school -- I really loved law school and the friends I made there are some of the best friends I've ever had, but, practicing law sucked more than I'd have thought possible.

Then, I'd have made damn sure I found work where I wasn't so damn stressed all the time. Cut out debt immediately, and chosen to live very simply and efficiently, doing work I love.

I'm going to get there somehow; I've just had a 15 year detour.

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