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Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 01:33 AM Aug 2013

What is the most non PC discussion you've had with your parents...

Do you have an unconventional relationship with either parents?

I've always treated my father as my best friend and now I'm sort of learning through visits with my psychiatrist that I'm rather too close to him. I don't mean that in any creepy Freudian sense, just that developmentally we are more like best friends than father and son. Because of this we tend to talk about any and all subjects that friends might talk about. He reads literature a lot and will discuss with me the latest book he's reading, sometimes including bits that parents might not talk about with their kids but friends would, like sexual details and the like. Again nothing Freudian going on here, nothing creepy certainly, it's just that we don't see each other as father and son that much, something that may not be good I don't know. And this isn't a trend or something that happens often I'm just suing a more extreme example to illustrate the overall feeling that we are friends and not parent and son so much.

But I'm sure that societal norms vis a vi family relationships are bent all the time. What's the most "non PC" discussion you've had with your parents? Topics that you didn't think you would have talked about with them.

Perhaps non PC is taking things too far, just simply realizing at some point that you weren't mother and daughter / father and son at that point but good friends.

32 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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What is the most non PC discussion you've had with your parents... (Original Post) Locut0s Aug 2013 OP
I told my mom I was gay at 15 and she said she needed to sleep on it. hrmjustin Aug 2013 #1
Good for you! But I don't think that's quite what I meant... Locut0s Aug 2013 #2
Would the first time I brought a guy home to get lucky with at age 16 count. The conversation hrmjustin Aug 2013 #3
Yeah that might :P... Locut0s Aug 2013 #4
She told me never to do it again but i got horny over the years and I did it again and again. hrmjustin Aug 2013 #5
That conversation went like this for me... Agschmid Aug 2013 #6
My mom was polite to them always. hrmjustin Aug 2013 #7
I asked them if they were still having sex.. HipChick Aug 2013 #8
Lol that's nice of you.. Locut0s Aug 2013 #9
well..these are parents that will get up and leave if HBO is on.. HipChick Aug 2013 #11
I walked in on mine once at 10 years old. hrmjustin Aug 2013 #14
When we talk about how guys spell "discrete" on Grindr... Agschmid Aug 2013 #10
I told my mom I had a hemorrhoid and she asked me if I had anal sex recently. Gravitycollapse Aug 2013 #12
Maybe your dad is concerned marzipanni Aug 2013 #13
when i was around 18 i became my dad's dad olddots Aug 2013 #15
How about as bitter enemies? Denninmi Aug 2013 #16
My mom and I don't have any conversations about personal things very often davidpdx Aug 2013 #17
my non pc conversation centered around MrYikes Aug 2013 #18
I talked to them about an Apple Mac BlueJazz Aug 2013 #19
BLASPHEMY! nt. Locut0s Aug 2013 #24
my folks and i have very open relationships fizzgig Aug 2013 #20
See I think that's great!... Locut0s Aug 2013 #23
I discussed tops and bottoms and pitchers and catchers with my dad... Tom Ripley Aug 2013 #21
Lol, that's a good one :P nt. Locut0s Aug 2013 #22
Well, my mom was a Young Earth Creationist and children's evangelist clown OriginalGeek Aug 2013 #25
That's... Locut0s Aug 2013 #26
The time my dad decided he wanted to talk about someone getting their male organs cut off. 47of74 Aug 2013 #27
Try having my sisters. a la izquierda Aug 2013 #28
That's... interesting lol. nt. Locut0s Aug 2013 #29
None. LWolf Aug 2013 #30
I'm the most "PC" person among my parents and siblings. hunter Aug 2013 #31
Answering that assumes that there is a "proper" parent/child relationship Xithras Aug 2013 #32
 

hrmjustin

(71,265 posts)
1. I told my mom I was gay at 15 and she said she needed to sleep on it.
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 01:42 AM
Aug 2013

She woke up and cried on my shoulder for a minute and told me to clean my room. She has been fine with it ever since.

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
2. Good for you! But I don't think that's quite what I meant...
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 01:45 AM
Aug 2013

That's great for you and it's fantastic all worked out, as it should. But that still sounds like an otherwise normal parent child type conversation. Replace gay with some other big life news for example.

 

hrmjustin

(71,265 posts)
3. Would the first time I brought a guy home to get lucky with at age 16 count. The conversation
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 01:49 AM
Aug 2013

that happened that night. Before and after.

Agschmid

(28,749 posts)
6. That conversation went like this for me...
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 02:02 AM
Aug 2013

Dad: Did Tony stay the night his mom called looking for him.
Me: Yes.
Dad: I didn't see him downstairs, did he already go home?
Me: No.
Dad: Well where is he?
Tony: Here.
Dad: Oh
.
.
Pause
.
.
Dad: Tony call your mom.

HipChick

(25,485 posts)
8. I asked them if they were still having sex..
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 02:07 AM
Aug 2013

and if they needed to close their bedroom door, when I was due home to visit

HipChick

(25,485 posts)
11. well..these are parents that will get up and leave if HBO is on..
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 02:22 AM
Aug 2013

and a sex scene comes on...

my Dad stays now...though..

sometimes I wonder how they even had 4 kids to begin with..

And I am still trying to work with them though the whole gay issue...

at least they are to the point, where they agree gays should be allowed to be married..

 

hrmjustin

(71,265 posts)
14. I walked in on mine once at 10 years old.
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 02:38 AM
Aug 2013

I pretended I was sleep walking and when they mentioned it in the n morning I said I did not remember it.

Gravitycollapse

(8,155 posts)
12. I told my mom I had a hemorrhoid and she asked me if I had anal sex recently.
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 02:24 AM
Aug 2013

Most awkward 5 seconds of silence in my entire life.

marzipanni

(6,011 posts)
13. Maybe your dad is concerned
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 02:33 AM
Aug 2013

and by speaking about the things he has read that involve sex he can see if you'll let him know how you feel about it.
Like most parents, he would probably like to see you having a good relationship with someone eventually.
Also he probably figures that a 31 year old guy is not a kid, so a conversation like that isn't off limits.

If it wasn't about our own personal sexual relationships my mom and I could talk freely about stuff.

 

olddots

(10,237 posts)
15. when i was around 18 i became my dad's dad
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 02:57 AM
Aug 2013

that's probably typical for the circumstances but uncomfortable .

Denninmi

(6,581 posts)
16. How about as bitter enemies?
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 03:51 AM
Aug 2013

I'll spare the Lounge the torture of detail, let me just say some if the fights I had with him were over subject matter that one would think could only come from Hollywood. Let's just say my dad was kinda Norman Bates in a lotta ways, just didn't take it quite all the way.

davidpdx

(22,000 posts)
17. My mom and I don't have any conversations about personal things very often
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 05:26 AM
Aug 2013

They often turn into arguments so it's best just to avoid them all together. When we go to visit I purposely ask my wife to not talk or ask about certain things to avoid conflict.

fizzgig

(24,146 posts)
20. my folks and i have very open relationships
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 01:19 PM
Aug 2013

we don't go into gory details about sex or anything, but we talk about everything openly.

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
23. See I think that's great!...
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 08:10 PM
Aug 2013

That's the type of relationship I have with my father. With my mother it's more formal but I can still talk with her about most things.

 

Tom Ripley

(4,945 posts)
21. I discussed tops and bottoms and pitchers and catchers with my dad...
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 04:32 PM
Aug 2013

he had started watching "Six Feet Under" and found it "fascinating that they had their own lingo and everything!"

OriginalGeek

(12,132 posts)
25. Well, my mom was a Young Earth Creationist and children's evangelist clown
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 08:29 PM
Aug 2013

(I mean she dressed up as a clown - she also put on religious puppet shows with my step-father)

and I'm an atheist.

Pretty much all of our conversations were odd.

My dad, however, was unafraid to discuss anything with me and often did whether I wanted to hear it or not. One thing we did NOT discuss, though, was the time I found a VHS tape of him and my step-mother.

That was the day I learned not to rummage through other people's closets.

Locut0s

(6,154 posts)
26. That's...
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 08:31 PM
Aug 2013

That sets a new watermark for awkward lol. And I'd have great difficulty with the fringe religious creationist stuff as I'm a strong atheist myself. I was never raised with any religion to begin with.

 

47of74

(18,470 posts)
27. The time my dad decided he wanted to talk about someone getting their male organs cut off.
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 10:09 PM
Aug 2013

We were up at the assisted living place visiting Grandma and Grandpa when out of the blue dad decided to mention that someone had either a penis or testicle cut off during surgery. (I'm not sure and I'm NOT going to ask dad if he remembers which it was). Sometimes I still think Grandpa and Grandpa (when he was still with us) weren't as hard of hearing as they let on, I think they both turned the HOH up a bit and pretended they didn't hear what he said. I still laugh about it sometimes.

a la izquierda

(11,791 posts)
28. Try having my sisters.
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 10:17 PM
Aug 2013

Both will talk about blowjobs and how often they get it. In front of my mother. My sister will often bump and grind with anyone while at parties. The first time I witnessed (with my mom present of course) this I just wanted the house to collapse on us all.

I'm the reserved one in the family.

LWolf

(46,179 posts)
30. None.
Mon Aug 5, 2013, 11:31 PM
Aug 2013

Why? I have one parent. She has no social filters. Anything I talk to her about is immediately going to get discussed with a dozen of her closest friends.

And sometimes in front of complete strangers, because, when it comes to what comes out of her mouth, she is oblivious.

It's been that way all of my life. I learned, painfully, during puberty not to ever talk to her about anything personal.

Growing up, though, my friends thought she was the "coolest," and told her all kinds of things I never would have.

All of that said, I love my mom. My role, though, is as the listener. Not the talker, especially about anything I don't want broadcast to a wide area.

hunter

(38,300 posts)
31. I'm the most "PC" person among my parents and siblings.
Tue Aug 6, 2013, 01:32 AM
Aug 2013

My brother once asked a building inspector, who was being an officious ass, "Can I just give you a blow job instead?" That comment cost him a few thousand dollars in unnecessary work.

As kids we fled Franco's Spain in the middle of the night because my mom couldn't be polite to a Spanish official who had "questions." My dad couldn't sleep that night, woke us all up, we put all our stuff in the car, and we left. We were living in a French park when the local officials bought the crazy Americans tickets to Southampton. Let the English have 'em.

My grandma was insane. It's amazing the cops didn't shoot her when they and the paramedics came to remove her from her house as a danger to herself and others. Some of the things that would come from her mouth....



The only serious girlfriend my parents ever met is my wife.

In my family there are no limits. My mom still occasionally comes up with stories of her childhood that are... okay, her daycare providers were nice ladies with sailor friends. Thy lived down by the docks during World War II. This was my mom's childhood normal. My dad's family is simply autistic spectrum, artists, engineers, and scientists. Mildly inappropriate at times, and those who are not functional in the "real" world simply don't talk much.

My wife's family is more traditional. They don't say the first things that occur to them. Or maybe they don't even think those things.



Xithras

(16,191 posts)
32. Answering that assumes that there is a "proper" parent/child relationship
Tue Aug 6, 2013, 01:58 PM
Aug 2013

When we're kids, parents clearly need to be the authority figure and set boundaries, but once we reach adulthood that relationship SHOULD be abolished. What is the "proper" thing to replace it?

My parents and I don't agree on everything, but we can talk about anything. Sex, drugs, health, marriage problems, you name it. We talk like friends, and that's normal to me. I have actual friends who oog out when they learn that I can discuss sex with my parents, and that just seems like an immature and ABNORMAL way to live your life. It's one thing for sex to be an "icky" topic when you're 15, but if you're still drawing artificial boundaries like that when you're 35, I think you've got issues.

But everyones relationship with their parents is different, so YMMV.

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