Update on the stealing from Mrs. V.'s mom

[Bertha Venation]

OP here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018461024

We won't know until we see the tapes, but things now point to the culprit being her caregiver. Things like mom looking everywhere for her debit card, and Mary (the caregiver) suddenly and quickly coming up with it. "Here it is!" I can imagine her saying. It is hard not to jump to conclusions but I admit I have already jumped.

Mrs. V. is in touch with the local police and they've opened an investigation. She also notified Mary's employer, who will run their own investigation. Even if it turns out that she is not the thief, mom needs someone new. Mrs. V. talked to her mom on Sunday and asked what she'd been doing that day. Cleaning her stove, cleaning the microwave, doing laundry . . . . Those are all Mary's tasks. Those are among her duties. It is not her job, Mrs. V. told her mom, to keep mom company.

Mom is beside herself with worry, though, because she cares about Mary and doesn't want to see her go to jail. It's very sad.

I hope the investigation goes swiftly. Please keep a good thought for Mrs. V., and send her some vibes. She is all torn up about this. She's in a really bad way. Thanks.

[LiberalEsto]

1. Blessings and good luck in working this situation out

It's hard for everyone when the people you need to trust to take care of your loved ones betray that trust. I hope it's possible to investigate the next caregiver and check out references, etc. This is really important.

We went through some awful stuff during the past year where my uncle's caregiver failed to get him to the hospital when ordered to do so by a doctor; he died that day. This same conniving caregiver, who had isolated our uncle from family members, suddenly turned out to be the new executor of his estate, replacing an old friend who was named executor in previous wills. This same caregiver also turned out to be the heiress to the entire estate including the house, and my uncle's car which he had willed to my brother in the previous will. We always expected the estate to go to my uncle's stepson. There was some sort of mediation about it last week; my brother got the price of the car, which she'd already wrecked, but we don't know how the rest was settled.

And when my mother-in-law died of Alzheimers 10 years ago, her daughters couldn't find any of her jewelry, but didn't know which of her caregivers had stolen it.

[Bertha Venation]

4. Good lord, LiberalEsto

I am so sorry to hear about all of this. It is shameful how some "caregivers" take advantage of the people they're supposed to be caring for. I'm sorry you had to go through this crap.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Vibes for Mrs.V and for you as well, my dear Bertha...

What a mess. I sure agree that Mary needs to go, and pronto. She has betrayed the trust placed in her and there's no coming back from that.

I hope all will be resolved very quickly.

[Bertha Venation]

5. Thank you, Peggy

[RudynJack]

3. Ugh... how awful

Sorry this is happening, and I hope it's resolved soon.

[Bertha Venation]

6. Thank you, RudynJack.

[Denninmi]

7. Well, if guilty, Mary needs to go to jail.

Exploitation if the elderly and disabled is too common, see a lot if it in my job. Two years ago one if the in-home caregivers of one if my clients stoke blank checks out of his checkbook and gave then to an accomplice who tried to cash 6 grand of bad checks. Luckily the bank teller caught hre first one and she fled, tried again an hour later at another branch, but acct was flagged and they called the cops.