Does anyone else have trouble being understood by their phones?

[Baitball Blogger]

Has this happened to you?

You press the button on your phone.

"How can I help you?" it says.

"Directions to Floor and Decor," you reply.

"There is no record for Floor and Declore."

"No! Floor and DE-CORE."

"I have no record for Noflore and Declor."

Exasperated you press the button and try again, but your brain is rattled and you say the wrong thing,

"I need directions to Floor and Declore."

Before you can correct yourself, the phone lady in the machine says, "Beginning directions to Floor and Decor."

- - - - -

People have said I have a bit of an accent. Maybe I do?

[BlueStreak]

1. My phone thinks I'm a pompous ass, but I'm really not.

[HarveyDarkey]

2. My phone is even stupider than I am.

I don't talk to it, and it doesn't talk to me. I occasionally talk to other people on it though.

[Baitball Blogger]

3. I'm just one technology away from becoming a Lobot.

[grilled onions]

4. I Can't Hear Much On Any Phone

I had a hearing test and discovered that my hearing was bad in the mid range which is what most voice levels are on a phone because the person who looked at my testing results strip said "You have trouble hearing others on the phone don't you?" and all the time I was blaming every phone I ever used!

[Baitball Blogger]

5. I'm sure there's an app for that.

[MiddleFingerMom]

6. !!!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.

.
.
.

[Baitball Blogger]

11. It would be devastating to learn that we're being manipulated by our cats

and dogs.

Well, cats are a given.

[bluesbassman]

7. You should seek counseling for your communication problems.

There's a psychologist group that specializes in this problem, Dewey, Cheetom, and Howe. Ask your phone to look up the number for the office nearest you.

[Baitball Blogger]

12. I would think a therapist would be more appropriate.

Therapist: So what's going on today.

Me: My phone doesn't understand me.

[hobbit709]

8. My phone only does 2 things, and it does them very well.

Makes calls, receives calls.

[Baitball Blogger]

13. Do you have to put it on any parental settings?

[Generic Brad]

9. My phone doesn't seem to understand me at all

Sometimes I long to find the intimate solace of a walkie talkie, but instead I dirty myself and give into using a cheap public pay phone.

[Baitball Blogger]

14. I would think the interruption of the coin dropping would make the experience

less pleasant.

[Generic Brad]

18. Sometimes I just want to cuddle with a receiver

But those pay phones are set up to so you conduct your business quickly and move on.

[Katashi_itto]

10. My phone and I are no longer on speaking terms

[NV Whino]

15. I call Siri an idiot on a regular basis

She's good at setting the timer, though.

[DinahMoeHum]

16. "Everybody's on the phone. . .so connected and all alone. . ."

. . .from the pizza boy to socialite,
We all salute the satellite.
Won't you text me with your master plan?
You're loud and clear but I don't understand,
I'm a digital explorer in analog roam,
And everybody's on the phone. . ."

- Jimmy Buffett: "Everybody's On The Phone"

[Baitball Blogger]

17. That's a JB I hadn't heard before.

Very good.