"I didn't know him from Adam's housecat" and other sayings...

[steve2470]

Aerow's comment about "grilled them like a Porterhouse" made me think of my mother's expression in the subject line.

You have a favorite your parents or grandparents said ?

[Squinch]

1. "The house was so small, there wasn't enough room to swing a dead cat."

Because in big houses, you tend to do that a lot, I guess.

[steve2470]

3. what's with all the fascination with dead cats lol

Dead cat bounce, anyone ?

[Squinch]

11. I guess dead cats were a thing. That people liked to handle a lot.

[meow2u3]

2. If my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car

That was my mom's favorite saying.

[loli phabay]

4. throwing the cat amongst the pigeons

[sarge43]

5. "Crazier than an outhouse rat" n/t

[winter is coming]

6. "Couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle". n/t

[Denninmi]

7. It doesn't taste like it's spent the night where a blueberry's been.

A friend from Appalachia originally would say that about fake blueberry muffins from a mix. Could be used with any processed, artificially food product.

[Rowdyboy]

8. "Shit fire and save the matches!" and "I see said the blind man walking off the cliff backwards"

come to mind. The first was used in place of "Dammit", the second to say that you don't know what you're talking about or "I call bullshit".

[Behind the Aegis]

12. Those are Southern colloquialisms.

We do have a colorful lexicon.

[Rowdyboy]

31. Don't we though! My uncle, a farmer used to say "That ain't no hill for a stepper"

As in a job that should be easy for me and referring to a "stepping horse"

[becca da bakkah]

9. When Things Got Rough, My Mother Would Always Say....

"Horsey, Keep Your Tail Up! I guess so you wouldn't get shit on it! Another favorite of hers was, "About as useful as tits on a boar hog!" My dad also used to say, "he/she's as happy as if they had good sense!"

I don't think my kids will remember me for such colorful remarks!

[Squinch]

10. If you looked sloppy, my mother would say "You look like Annie off the pickle boat."

Do pickles have boats?

[steve2470]

13. lmao never heard this one nt

[Behind the Aegis]

14. "The Devil is beating his wife."

This seems to be one only used in the South, because when I came to OK, no one, not even my partner had heard that saying.

[Arkansas Granny]

21. The old folks used to say that when the sun was shining and it was raining at the same time.

[Behind the Aegis]

23. Us young (well kinda) folks say it too.

I was just surprised when I came to Oklahoma how no one had heard the phrase. I always thought it was common.

[Arkansas Granny]

24. I heard it as a kid in SW Missouri. I'm surprised Oklahoma folks didn't know it.

[Behind the Aegis]

25. I think it is a Southern phrase. I don't consider OK to be Southern.

[Sentath]

39. OK would certainly be insulted to hear that,

But, I have to say I agree.

They're their own kind of weirdness.

[Behind the Aegis]

40. Actually, I don't think they would be.

I always grouped OK and TX together. OK is a bit odd, it doesn't really fit with the South, nor the Plains States; that's why I just put it with TX.

[sharp_stick]

15. Two from January mornings

during my childhood while unplugging the block heater from the car Dad would often be heard:

"Dammit...colder than a witches tit out here"

I had no idea that witches had that problem but it must be true.

Also to be heard at the same time because in January at that latitude the sun didn't come up till about 8:30:

"Blacker than a coal-miners arse"

I think that one is pretty much self-explanatory.

[steve2470]

17. yea, the witch's tit one always puzzled me a tad nt

[hack89]

18. Witches tit (or teat) goes back to the 16th century

and is a reference to the mark Satan supposedly put on his disciples to seal their obedience.

[sharp_stick]

19. Cool

it's a term I've heard since I was really small. I've even used it myself but never bothered to look it up before.

Thanks.

[Rowdyboy]

33. Older southern folks also used "Colder than a well-diggers ass in Idaho"

[Aristus]

16. "Ugly words and filthy phrases!"

My Alabama-born mother would often say that in lieu of actual profanity when she was frustrated.

[Arkansas Granny]

20. "It's raining pitchforks and hammer handles" was one of my mother's sayings.

"It's time to piss on the fire and call in the dogs" is one that my boss uses from time to time.

[pink-o]

22. My dad would say: "he's not playin' with a full deck" and "his elevator doesn't go to the top floor

...which means the same as us saying Not the sharpest tool in the shed or the brightest star in the sky.

Someday someone will start a thread about our old phrases like "dumb as a bag of hair" which can only get better with age!

[Behind the Aegis]

26. My fave is "The porch light is on, but no one is home!"

I always thought that was funny.

[Squinch]

27. "They're so poor, they don't have a pot to piss in."

I have a million of these. My grandmother was very colorful.

[Rowdyboy]

30. "He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel"

That's courtesy of my grandfather, rest his soul!

[Squinch]

34. LOLOLOLOL!!!

[Graybeard]

29. Mike Malloy's , "sack of doorknobs."

On his nightly radio show (9pm- Mid ET) Mike Malloy's favorite put-down for Repukes and RWers of all sorts is, "They don't have the common sense of a sack of doorknobs."

Now why anyone would have a sack of doorknobs, or why anyone would keep their doorknobs in a sack in the first place are questions that make the whole proposition even more applicable to RWers.

[arely staircase]

32. torn up like a snake in a lawnmower

Meaning- very drunk

[antiquie]

35. It'll never be seen on a galloping horse.

My mother's response to complaints about stained or mended clothes.

[Arkansas Granny]

36. Here's another: Slower than molasses running uphill in January.

[awoke_in_2003]

37. "I'd rather drink turpentine and piss on a grass fire"...

said about something you don't really want to do.

[steve2470]

38. lmao too funny ! nt

[TorchTheWitch]

41. "I trust him about as far as I can sling a piano"

Got that from the movie "Hearts in Atlantis".

[steve2470]

42. "can't win a piss fight with a skunk" and....

"cash on the barrelhead"....never heard anyone else use that one.