Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation

[Earth_First]

RENTON, WA—Local man Paul Campbell confirmed Saturday he was raising his daughter Emma on a variety of media carefully selected to help her cultivate an appreciation for artistic quality, a move that will reportedly put the 12-year-old girl hopelessly out of touch with her generation.

Perusing his music and film collections and showing reporters distinctive, well-regarded works that will thoroughly alienate Emma from her sixth-grade classmates, Campbell said he wanted to make sure his daughter enjoyed the benefits of a cultural education he never received at her age.

"Well, I'm not making the same mistake he did," Campbell continued as he pulled out vinyl copies of Television's Marquee Moon, Miles Davis'Sketches Of Spain, and Big Star's #1 Record, highly influential albums that will in no way help his daughter interact with her peers at a particularly delicate time in her social development. "There's a lot of cool stuff out there, and it's never too early to start learning what's worth your time. I'm just glad I have the know-how to guide her."

"Jean-Luc Godard, Stanley Kubrick, Billy Wilder—you simply need to know who these men are if you want to call yourself culturally literate," Campbell said of the three iconic directors whose creations could not have less utility to his daughter as she searches for a way to achieve a sense of belonging among her fellow middle-schoolers. "Sure, she makes a face when I don't let her see some ridiculous movie with CGI robots because it's John Sayles Night and we're watching The Secret Of Roan Inish instead. But I'm giving her a leg up, even if she doesn't know it."

You guessed it: http://www.theonion.com/articles/cool-dad-raising-daughter-on-media-that-will-put-h,26132/

[cyberswede]

1. LOL - but I've actually had my kids listen to a variety of music, so they can appreciate it.

I've exposed them to everything from classical to big band to classic rock and jazz.

My 11 y.o. daughter still prefers whatever pop music her friends are listening to, but my 13 y.o. son just gave me a list of songs he wants me to add to hid iPod, including Ozzy, Alice Cooper, Slipknot, Jimi Hendrix, Metallica, and Prodigy.

[Liberal_in_LA]

2. child abuse. lol

[malthaussen]

3. Shame he didn't teach her how to properly take a record out of the sleeve. n/t

[Kali]

5. bingo!

that pic just made me

[Paulie]

7. Oh! That's what that is.

[Earth_First]

11. Good catch!

Hadn't noticed that...

[nolabear]

4. LOL! Wonder how they chose Renton.

Yeah it's rude but it's OUR rude.

[treestar]

6. Kids are lucky these days

They can listen to it all! Just throwing that out there though it's the Onion. In my day, the radio stations mostly just played current songs.

[Arugula Latte]

8. Agree.

It's cool to see kids discovering great music from the past 50 years, while still embracing new music...That's what I try to do as a middle-aged person. The older people I've admired in my life were usually those who didn't get firmly mired in the past but were accepting of change and new things.

[treestar]

9. I had a great time discovering 60s music.

It was before my time, but like brand new stuff to me. That was in the 80s when they started playing the classic rock stations.

[Arugula Latte]

10. Me too. I liked the British Invasion stuff and Motown.

I'd just reeeeally gotten into the Beatles at age 13-14 and then John Lennon was shot. It broke my heart at a very vulnerable age.

[Tom Ripley]

12. I actually saw some parents take their very fortunate children to a Television concert last week

and know lots of kids who are exposed to Big Star, Velvet Underground, Miles Davis, Cramps, etc....but I live in a hipster mecca.