Pardoned turkey should face death penalty, insist Republicans.

[dipsydoodle]

The thanksgiving turkey pardoned by President Obama yesterday should face death by lethal injection after looking at the president’s daughter Malia in the wrong way, republican hard-liners claimed last night.

Despite the tradition which dates back to the 1989, republicans say the decision to pardon the suspected-homosexual turkey is further evidence that the Democrat administration has gone soft on sexually-deviant oven-ready poultry.

However, while the beleaguered president joked that the pardon was something he could do without the approval of an obstructive Congress, unhinged republican leadership challenger Rick Perry insisted, “Oh no you fucking can’t “.

Meanwhile, rival fruitcake Michele Bachmann claimed the turkey’s feathers represented moral weakness and that it would encourage citizens to pursue a masturbatory agenda even after its neck had been wrung.

http://newsthump.com/2011/11/24/pardoned-turkey-should-face-death-penalty-insist-republicans/

[BlancheSplanchnik]

1. rival fruitcake Michelle Bachman.....

Citizens encouraged to pursue a masturbatory agenda....

[jakeXT]

2. I didn't know it started with Iran Contra

Ronald Reagan was technically the first president to "pardon" a Thanksgiving turkey, in 1987 — but he did it as a joke to distract the press from scandal. Reporters had been hounding the president about whether he planned to grant pardons to key Iran-Contra figures like Oliver North and John Poindexter. Reagan merely quipped that he would have pardoned that year's turkey had it not been en route to a petting zoo already.

Two years later, in 1989, Reagan's successor George H.W. Bush made the turkey pardon an annual ritual. But it all started as a glib one-liner meant to deflect attention away from White House lawbreaking. Hardly a sacred convention.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/11/26/the-turkey-pardon-is-americas-dumbest-tradition/