Bet I'm stupider than you are

[IrishAyes]

I proved it this morning when I put a pot of coffee on to perk and left the top off. What a mess! To make matters worse, that's at least the second time in my life I've done that.

Ha! Try to top that if you can.

[benld74]

1. I got out of bed on a 7 degree morning,,,,

[IrishAyes]

2. Ha! It was ZERO degrees here this morning, and I still got up.

Well, mostly because the dogs would've given me an even bigger mess to clean up otherwise. Dogs have awesome power. By refusing to paper train or use a nice box filled with real potting soil, they only have to whine and I leap to attention.

[Baitball Blogger]

3. After my mother died...

there was one morning where something strange occurred. As I was preparing breakfast I felt my hand burning. It was weird. There was no reason for the pain and I just rubbed it away. I was half asleep and I went to prepare the coffee. I don't remember the configuration of the old coffee maker, but somehow, when the time came to pour the coffee something I hadn't tighten down came loose and the coffee poured over the same spot that had been burning all morning--and the sensation was the same.

[IrishAyes]

15. Prescient, I believe you were. If you ever get a bad feeling about a plane, don't fly!

When he was about 3 or 4, my son, who was normally a good sleeper, suddenly started having terrible nightmares one night. Got so bad I had to sit in his room with him. He wouldn't say what the nightmares were about.

That morning I picked up the newspaper on the front porch and brought in still wrapped into the house. My son looked at me and said, "They're wrong." Who's wrong? "Those people who write stories in the newspaper. They're wrong. It was closer to 3 thousand."

When I opened the paper and saw the headlines, I almost fainted. Banner headline: Chile Earthquake! Subtitle read: Two Thousand Feared Dead.

There had been no radio or tv broadcasts yet that my son could've heard. Less than a week later the fatality count had risen to pretty near what he had said. He was always like that, although as he grew older and realized the flack it drew, he refused to say anything. I think most people are born with some degree of prescience but have it drummed out of them by society. Don't know if it runs deeper in Irish veins or not, but there are those who think so.

[Baitball Blogger]

16. Well, I'm giving it a shot with Mega millions lotto numbers.

That's the real test.

[pipi_k]

4. We have double stupid

at my house.

How many times have I left the top off the blender while using it...

The time I nearly poisoned us with plastic fumes when I decided to boil my toothbrush after a camping trip (instead of, like, just soaking the damned thing in peroxide or bleach...duhhhh) and the water boiled away and the toothbrush melted all over the bottom of the pan.

Then there was the time I put my plastic dish rack and drainboard in the oven when we were selling our old house (to clear the counter) and...yes...forgot about it when I preheated the oven to cook something.

Do you know how hard it is to get hardened melted plastic off the inside of an oven?

I often do laundry, forgetting to put the clothes in the washer, then when the washer stops, freak out, wondering where my laundry went to.


Mr Pipi is just as bad. No...worse. He's just downright dangerous without adult supervision.

[LiberalEsto]

17. These are what we call "senior moments", pipi

Don't be hard on yourself.
We all have them.
And now we've reached that age where we can blame everything on being a senior.

[rudolph the red]

5. I just did that exact same thing

last Friday! I actually realized what I had done a few minutes later when I was in the shower and ran to the kitchen dripping and nekid, but it was too late. What a huge mess.

[sharp_stick]

6. I did that once with a drip coffeemaker

I set it up, went upstairs to take a shower. When I came back down I realized that the pot was still in the dishwasher and the coffee was all over the floor.

My wife laughed at me for a long time. At least my daughter helped me mop it up while laughing along with my wife.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

7. Try putting dish soap in the frying pan instead of oil to fry eggs.

It took a week to get the smell out of the apartment.

[Rambis]

8. I found a knife once took it up to the bar "someone named L L Bean lost this"

I had no idea it was a brand of something?

[Lars39]

9. I have succeeded in every possible coffee maker disaster except burning down the house.

Some things just shouldn't be attempted until you have coffee.

[newcriminal]

10. My husband has set his own pants on fire twice now.

[lastlib]

11. Liar, liar....!

[edbermac]

12. Ever brush your teeth with hydrocortisone?

[bluesbassman]

14. No, but I did it with A&D ointment once.

It was a rough night to say the least.

[MissMillie]

13. Once I was holding a glass of milk in my hand

and when someone asked me what time it was, I flipped my wrist to look at my watch and I poured milk all over myself.

[hobbit709]

18. My wife once managed to set her hair on fire while completely surrounded by water.

I came home from work one morning and she goes "Notice anything different about me?"--A dangerous question.
Finally I went "What did you do to your hair?"

She liked to take a hot bath with a bunch of candles on the edge of the tub. when she leaned forward to turn the water off, her hair fell onto an open flame and singed it a little.

[femmocrat]

19. I used Stain Stick for deodorant.

They are the same size and shape... in the dark how can you tell?

[Callmecrazy]

20. My mom was putting in eye drops...

and it turned out to be super glue!
She felt pretty stupid trying to explain it at the ER.
And I once did an oil change and forgot to put the drain plug back in and poured 5 quarts of oil onto the ground. Doh!

[dixiegrrrrl]

21. ok,I will fess up..but DON'T tell anybody!!!!

Mr. dixie was away for the day, I decided to surprise him by dehydrating a bowl of red chili peppers he had brought in from the garden. We had tons of the damn things growing like weeds.

And I remembered reading that you could dehydrate vegies in a mircrowave.

so I laid a plateful of them in the microwave, set the thing for lowest temp possible and walked away, anticipating a happy surprise when he got home.
And after about 35 minutes, the entire house was filled with chili pepper vapor.

My eyes were burning, the dog was gasping, the cats fled the minute I opened a door.

took me all day to de-vapor the house, hacking and coughing as I worked. Had to wash curtains, sheets,
pillow covers, scrub down the kitchen, and clean out the microwave filter. Odor was still pretty strong by the time Mr. Dixie came home.

Well, he WAS surprised,I can say that much.

Not quite as bad as the time i stabbed myseld in the knee, but .............

[IrishAyes]

22. Oh my, all these wonderful stories reminded me of another dumb thing I once did.

I was sitting on a chair and decided to scoot it forward instead of standing up like a lady and moving it properly. Somehow one of the chair legs landed on my bare foot. What a dilemma. It hurt too much for me to gather strength to stand up and relieve my foot, but my foot hurt too much for me to keep sitting down.... Eventually I tilted the chair sideways and fell on the floor like a drunken fool, even though I was stone cold sober.