College Students' Thesis Topics Are Hilarious, Depressing

[ashling]

http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2013/12/31/lolmythesis_tumblr_college_students_summarize_their_thesis_in_one_sentence.html

Rocks that are next to each other in Massachusetts now were also next to each other 400 million years ago.
- Geology, Amherst College

Jellyfish don’t like it when you acidify their tank.
- Marine Biology, St Andrews


People get really bored listening to beeping for an hour, but they’ll do it when professors require experiment credit.
- Psychology, University of Chicago

Once there were some lost lobsters who were maybe a tiny bit different from some other lobsters, so I killed lots of their larvae to find out if they were actually a tiny bit different. Turns out I don’t know, so I have to do it again.
- Earth Systems, Stanford University

Just because there’s a bike lane on your street doesn’t mean your rent will be higher. Or lower. Bikes are statistically insignificant to your rent.
- Economics, Reed College

Online ads that claim you are the 100000th visitor are surprisingly effective.
- Computer Science, Harvard

Mark Rothko was a huge asshole.
- Theatre, Dickinson College.

There was this Hittite king who might or might not have had a son, but definitely moved his seat of government from one place to another, and then his brother moved it back, and all 8 people who care are like “Why’d he do that? Tevs.”
- Cuneiform Studies, University of Chicago



-Benton Love
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I am going to write my thesis about how dicking around on the internet is important for art and intimacy and stuff, just as soon as I get off this tumblr.
- English and Gender Studies, University of Chicago

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The strangest thing I found is that there is a department at the University of Chicago on Cuneiform Studies

my response is as follows:

<< <<^^^>>|| VVV V V >>> <<<<<||||\\||||V !

[redqueen]

1. these

There was this Hittite king who might or might not have had a son, but definitely moved his seat of government from one place to another, and then his brother moved it back, and all 8 people who care are like “Why’d he do that? Tevs.”
- Cuneiform Studies, University of Chicago

I am going to write my thesis about how dicking around on the internet is important for art and intimacy and stuff, just as soon as I get off this tumblr.
- English and Gender Studies, University of Chicago

[Locut0s]

2. Lol thanks for that...

[ZombieHorde]

3. This one sounds profound.

FML: All my feelings are constructed.
- Religion & Women and Gender Studies, Harvard

Most people don't realize this.