I'm offended...
It's a general catch-all offense that applies to anything that one could come across in any day of living. I need no justification for the offense, nor do I request any recompense from whomever dares to express their own opinion without considering my own delicate sensibilities.
However, since I'm not going to be specific about what has offended me, in order to retain as much leverage over others as possible, I am hereby taking suggestions from anyone whose own self-defensiveness has been triggered by my declaration of offense. I will either engage or arbitrarily dismiss those suggests, without explanation, as I see fit. Consider it something akin to an Open Mic Night with no predetermined guidelines.
You are all free to personalize your own offensiveness in response to my declaration of offense, reading into it any form of guilty feeling, disdain for me in particular, propensity to be an interfering busy-body, or just acting on your own desire to watch the world burn from your own participation.
Tone is important. A sarcastic, condescending and angrily written reply makes it all the more engaging and increases the likelihood of spirited debate. Please stubbornly stand by your own positions, long after any positive or intelligent discourse has left the exchange.
You're free to make straw man arguments and other lapses in logical rhetoric. Please nit-pick on minor issues, such as typos and grammatical errors. It's all game.
Try not to be abusive, though. But if you are, it's completely understandable. If you feel it necessary to rehash old grievances, this is the perfect opportunity to present them.
Make sure to bring your A Game…
If you're in the mood to increase your level of adrenaline and general excitement, relieve boredom and waste valuable time in pointless debate, this is your time. Waste it well.