World's worst chat-up lines named and shamed in new study

[dipsydoodle]

If your usual dating technique is to sidle up to the nearest girl and whisper: 'I like your dress but it would look better on my bedroom floor,' then it might be time for a rethink.

That line has - perhaps unsurprisingly - been named the worst chat-up line of all time, followed by another corny classic: 'I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?'

Almost 95 per cent of girls surveyed by new dating app Flirt Planet said they would be unlikely to fall for the charms of a man using such cheesy banter.

And two out of three women were left unmoved by: 'Your eyes are like spanners - everytime I look at them my nuts tighten.'

Less graphic but no less frowned upon was the romantic line: 'If I could rewrite the alphabet I would put 'U' and 'I' together.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2550844/I-like-dress-look-better-bedroom-floor-Worst-chat-lines-named-shamed.html#ixzz2sH8gakzo

[Systematic Chaos]

1. As a number of not-so-consummate not-so-experts have said way too many times before:

[pipi_k]

2. Another stinker...

"If I said you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?"




I kind of feel a little sorry for guys who use cheesy pickup/chat up lines. Most of them are probably nice guys who just say stupid things when they're nervous or don't know what else to say.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

5. Use of pickup lines is a sign of a boring, unimaginative guy

probably not very bright.

A REAL nice guy (since a REAL nice guy is kind and thoughtful to everyone) would just walk up to me, say "hi," and ask a normal question, such as (if, for example, I were sitting sipping a glass of wine) "What kind of wine is that? Do you like it?" Or, if I were reading a book on the bus, he might say, "I've heard of that book. What do you think of it?"

You know, as if he were talking to a real person.

The one liners can come later, IF they are spontaneous quips, not rehearsed lines picked up from Mystery. If he's good at spontaneous quips, that's a plus. If he's not, he's better off not trying to be funny.

[Scuba]

3. Yes, but what about that other five percent?

[Tom Ripley]

4. But "What's your sign...and signifier?" still works pretty well with Semiotics majors at Brown

[geardaddy]

6. "Almost 95 per cent of girls..."

Girls? What about women?

[dipsydoodle]

10. UK terminology.

Don't try to relate : won't work.

[KurtNYC]

7. any line is bad if she isn't into to you

and conversely, if you are Matthew McConaughey then anything short of puking on her shoes will probably "work"

[Wait Wut]

8. Not necessarily true.

Granted, there are as many shallow women as there are shallow men, but I'm an expert on the female side.

I am what many people refer to as 'very attractive'. I've heard damn near every pick up line uttered. The worst is when a guy thinks he's so damned hawt that he could spew random words and I'd fall on my knees and beg for his dick.

The best? The geeks and nerds that I can see from across the room stealing quick glances. The ones that I can tell are working up the courage to talk to me. The ones that stutter, drop things, trip on their way over to talk to me. The ones that, once they find out that there's a brain behind the face and hair...talk to me like a human being. Smart is sexy, darlin'.

Matthew can suck an egg. Josh Marshall (TPM)...I'd melt into a puddle of redheaded mush if he spoke my damned name.

So, there's the big hint to you guys that think you can't talk to the 'pretty' girls. She could be really sick of hearing those stupid lines and is waiting for someone to stroke her mind instead of her thighs...to start with, at least.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

16. Exactly, WaitWut

Most smart women know that looks don't last. There's a difference between lusting from afar and actually wanting to get into a relationship.

True story: I was a junior in high school, when a new boy was introduced to our class, a transfer student from out of town. He was physically gorgeous, one of the most handsome males I have ever seen in real life. You could almost hear the girls give out a collective sigh.

That first-hour class was a speech class, and we were assigned into groups of six to put on a fake radio play. Mr. Gorgeous was in another group, but I (and a lot of the other girls) kept glancing his way.

In the next class (Englsh) I ended up sitting next to one of the girls who had been in his group, and she was telling someone else about this new boy in the speech class. "When he walked into the room, I was, like, 'Oh my God, hold me back!' but then he was in our speech group, and I was ready to belt him by the time the class was over. He thinks he is so hot, but he's really an asshole."

I later learned that her assessment was true. Mr. Gorgeous was both stupid and exceptionally conceited. After I realized that, his looks didn't matter a bit.

On the other hand, I have learned over the years that I don't have a set physical type. I fall in love with a mind and a personality, and whatever that person happens to look like (within reason--I don't like greasy or smelly), that's "my type."

It's like that old song (written from a male point of view, but still valid) "She's got eyes of blue/I never cared for eyes of blue/But she's got eyes of blue/ And that's my weakness now."

[UncleMuscles]

9. "You remind me of my wife who died of cancer"

[loli phabay]

11. lol, now that is a doozy

[loli phabay]

12. i think it depends on who is saying it, ive fallen for corny lines before it depends on the context

i hate the opposite when someone tries to hard or to be too clever.

[Demoiselle]

13. I like "Hello." And a smile. (nt)

[dipsydoodle]

14. Best avoid anyone saying 'ello, 'ello, 'ello - what 'ave we 'ere.

It will be a UK policeman.

[Demoiselle]

15. This is true.

(I married an Englishman.)

[trof]

17. "Will you marry me?" - The Texan in Blue. This one worked on me.

It was written in lipstick on a cocktail napkin and delivered to me by a waiter at a Dixieland jazz joint in Oklahoma City in 1964.

I looked across the room and spotted the cute blonde in the blue dress.
I sent back my reply:
"Are you independently wealthy? If so, "Yes."


A mutually enjoyable 'relationship' ensued.