Now it's official. The last of my dad's siblings is gone. We're next.

[DFW]

It's a weird feeling. There was always someone from his generation out there to talk about the old times to. My last uncle passed away this past weekend. He was 85, the only one of the siblings to make it to 80. Their parents never even made it to 70.

So, now it's my generation that's next in line. Our daughters consider us "old." I can see why. At our wedding, the parents' table was composed of people all younger than we are now, and we didn't get married until we were 30.

But my wife and I have both put the Reaper on hold already, me at the very last second before checking out permanently almost exactly 10 years ago (April 29, 2004, to be exact).

So, while we don't feel it acutely just yet (my wife's mom is still around, and in good shape for 87), that guy in the hoodie and the scythe is probably starting to pencil us in again.

We'll put off the appointment as long as we can.

[mnhtnbb]

1. I know how you feel.

The last of my parent's siblings--my mother's only brother and youngest sibling-died last December at age 94.

I do have pretty good genes, though, as both my parents lived to be 91 and they've been gone for 14 and 12 years.

Our kids grew up with really old parents--hubby was 42 and I was 34 when we married--and I was 39 when our youngest
was born.

I think about that guy in the hoodie, too.

[Solly Mack]

2. The last of my (many) aunts died several years ago.

She outlived several of her nieces and nephews.

Still, I remember feeling that it was now our turn when the first of my first cousins passed. I'm the youngest of the first cousins by 3 decades. I'm even younger than some of my second cousins. I'm 50.

Large, large family. Huge.

[orleans]

3. "The Idea Is To Die Young As Late As Possible"

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GSln=schimmel&GSfn=florence&GSbyrel=all&GSdyrel=all&GSob=n&GRid=104548473&df=all&

i'm sorry to hear about your loss.

[DFW]

4. That's actually what we're trying to do.

Not easy with our schedule. I don't know if it's better to stay as crazily active as we are or to slow down.

Still, I know a LOT of people that are a LOT older at 62 than we are. Here's last night in NYC:

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By tomorrow, my wife will be back in Düsseldorf and I'll be in Dallas.

[countryjake]

15. Nice!

Very nice!

[raccoon]

5. The last of my mother's siblings is 86 now. When he's gone, my generation will be the oldest on

both sides of the family.

[Skittles]

6. do people really think like this?

I must be lucky

[countryjake]

7. I know just how you feel.

My sympathies to your family on losing your uncle.

I only have one blood aunt left and one aunt by marriage. My mother died last year at 95 and her baby sister and I often talk now about who's next. With many of my cousins already gone, she is strangely confident that she might outlive our second generation, including me. She is a real card, at 88 years young.

My other auntie will turn 98 in one week.

Thanks for reminding me that I must call both of them.

[Jenoch]

8. My dad is the last of his generation.

He lost his oldest brother in 1957. That brother was a WWII veteran that died in a construction accident. My grandfather never got over that and died 11 years later. My dad is the youngest and his last brother died at 67 in 1997. My dad said he didn't want to be the last, well he is. His last SIL died last June and his BIL (my mother's brother) a little over a year ago. He's 82 now and in pretty good shape.

My brother's MIL is in a nursing home and does not recognize any of her children or grandchildren.

[lululu]

9. first weirdness is when both parents have died

next is when their generation is gone

God, I hope my brothers outlive me, being without them would be awful.

[DFW]

10. I went through that part 12 years ago.

Putting my mom next to my dad at Arlington did put a feeling of being on the "front lines" in us.

[pinboy3niner]

11. Often, people don't die in order of seniority

Some people lose parents, siblings, even their children unexpectedly soon. We like to think there's a natural order to things, but death often defies the natural order.

I lost my dad when I was in HS (he was 49), though my mom lived into her mid-70s.

In the Army I knew a lot of guys who died young in Vietnam--leaving me thinking, even afterward, that I wouldn't live to see 30. Psychologists have a term for that--"sense of a foreshortened future." I'm still amazed that I'm here after all this time.

When my little brother died a couple of years ago, it was a shock. I guess I (and my older brother) still thought the three of us would go in order of seniority.

I'm sorry about the loss of your uncle, and I'm glad the two of you are putting the Reaper on hold. A lot of us here are on the downhill side, hanging in there as long as we can...

[DFW]

12. At 30, we all think we're immortal

At 62, with my wife having beat cancer and me giving the Reaper the finger despite what he has thrown at my heart, we try to hold our own and keep our heads above water as much as we can. We were relieved when new neighbors moved in across the street and introduced themselves as relieved to find neighbors the same age as they were--only we are ten years older.

I think the main thing is to treat everyone, to the extent that circumstances allow, as your intellectual equal, regardless of age. I think of people I have been with in the last two days, both very public personalities, one almost 65, one in her early thirties, and we were all on the same wavelength. It won't keep my arteries unclogged, but it keeps our outlook just a little fresher.

[Jenoch]

13. My sister died 20 years ago.

My oldest brother took in her 10 year old boy because he was an orphan.

My mom's sister died six weeks after being the valedictorian of her high school class in 1945. It was a kidney infection, but there were no antibiotics available. My grandparents apparently went for days without saying a word to one another. That really affected my mother who was 15 at the time.

[countryjake]

14. That's what happened in my daddy's family...backwards seniority, almost...

His little brother died fairly young (late fifties) and then his sister, too (both of them younger than I am now); my grandma lived to be 98, almost 99, but my dad eventually had to bury her, leaving him for several years as the only one left in his entire family, cousins, aunts, uncles, and all. The paternal side of my people have been gone now for quite some time.

My sympathies to you for losing your father so young and also your little brother. I didn't know...

[pinboy3niner]

16. I've known too many people who've died--more than 60 in Vietnam alone

But losing my little brother was tough. I almost blew off going to his memorial service for fear that I couldn't handle it.

But I reached out, posting about that struggle here, and it was only the overwhelmingly supportive response of fellow and sister members here that gave me the courage to go. It turned out to be a beautiful and wonderful experience that I will always treasure.

Thanks for your post, countryjake. We all have to deal with loss and grief, and it's the support of others that helps us get through it--even retrospectively.

[countryjake]

17. You might appreciate this...

and I'm still pretty ashamed of myself after all these years, for not heeding its words. Tennyson's elegy, Crossing the Bar, has been sort of traditionally spoken at funerals in my family, since my great-grandparents time; many of us have always known it by heart, so when my daddy passed, I was singled out as the one to do the recitation.

Pinboy, I just couldn't do it. I was such a wreck the day we buried him, I knew that I'd fall apart if I tried. My big sister and brother adamantly insisted that it had to be the youngest one's job (another tradition) and guilt-tripped me something fierce for not having the strength. I finally begged my niece to take my place and she did, just fine. But every time the words to that poem now run thru my mind, I rue the day that I stood afar, outside, wailing and keening.

I imagine that I was probably back in Ohio (for a funeral, we're dropping like flies, now) when you were in need of solace. The ability of this community to draw together when needed is probably what I've always most loved about it.

[pinboy3niner]

18. I understand completely

Even when I mustered the courage to go, I knew I could never speak at the service.

But guess what? I wound up taking the mike and sharing some funny stories about my brother. I even joked about how I didn't know you could find a brogue-speaking Irish priest on craigslist. And about how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree--as we all remembered my brother's clumsiness and constant injuries, I called attention to his son, sitting there with his front teeth missing from a recent skateboarding accident.

That may give you the flavor of what a wonderful memorial service it was.

My brother had served with me in the 101st Airborne Division in Vietnam, so I placed a Screaming Eagle pin by the photo displayed at the ceremony. Later his son came to me and asked if he could have it...

The reception following also was special in a lot of ways as I had a chance to meet and talk and joke with a lot of my brother's friends.

To think I almost didn't go. Looking back, I wouldn't have missed that for the world!

[countryjake]

19. See, you made beautiful memories of something so very hard!

I, on the other hand, can only hang my head and long for a do-over. I never even went back in for the luncheon that was held afterward...ended up sitting down (so dressed up, skirt and all) in the graveyard grass, taking cover behind my four-greats grandpa's ancient headstone. Everyone assumed that I'd took off walking the ten miles home.

Your Screaming Eagle story is so poignant! Whenever I run into you on here again, your moniker will forever mean so much more.