Woman A Leading Authority On What Shouldn’t Be In Poor People’s Grocery Carts
http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-a-leading-authority-on-what-shouldnt-be-in-p,35922/NORTHAMPTON, MA—With her remarkable ability to determine exactly how others should be allocating their limited resources for food, local woman Carol Gaither is considered to be one of the foremost authorities on what poor people should and should not have in their grocery carts, sources said Thursday.
As verified by multiple eyewitness reports from supermarkets across the Northampton area, the real estate agent and mother of three is capable of scanning the contents of any low-income person’s basket and rapidly identifying those items which people like that don’t need to be buying, based on the products’ nutrition and cost. Additionally, Gaither, 48, is widely regarded as a leading expert in determining which groceries they would purchase instead if they had any common sense or restraint.
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A classic caller to the Stephanie Miller Show. The woman got her start complaining about people who use food stamps. Every time she calls, it's weirder and weirder. Her voice sounds like she smokes road flares, hence the nickname. If you get a chance, do listen, her calls are a trip. 
I read through this entire article getting angrier by the minute... then saw The Onion.
The problem is... these kind of sanctimonious women exist... and I thought this was just another one.
Likely there is a food cart surveyor out there somewhere...
it's "these kinds of sanctimonious people" exist. Just sayin'. 
It's a problem with our society that these satirical articles are so believable. Hell Faux Noise gets a lot of air time complaining about what people buy with food stamps. We get a bit of it around here.