Department of Fuck This Disgraceful Bullshit Research

[struggle4progress]

Red wine, chocolate not linked to longevity
ANI | May 13, 2014, 01.18 PM IST
Researchers have found that the antioxidant resveratrol found in red wine, chocolate and grapes is not linked with longevity or the incidence of cardiovascular disease, cancer and inflammation ...

What the hell has gotten into scientists nowadays?

It's been well-known since forever that there's just nothing better, for whatever ails, than red wine and chocolate

You know who's behind this bogus research? The insurance companies, that's who! The bastards just don't want to pay for my red wine and chocolate -- cuz I'm pretty sure my doc was about to cave and write me an actual prescription for red wine and chocolate, if only so he wouldn't have listen to my constant whining Pleeeeeze! O, pleeeeeeeeze!

Fuck this disgraceful bullshit research!

[sarge43]

1. May not extend life, but does make it worth living -- same difference n/t

[hobbit709]

2. White chocolate isn't really chocolate.

I get my chocolate in the big bar size

[Chan790]

3. ...and the only chocolate that was thought to have any net-positive benefit...

was unsweet dark.

So dark, with no milkfat or sugar...it's bitter as f**k. (I love it...but lets not confuse it with chocolate most people want to eat.)

Edit: I just looked at the picture, clearly you love it too.

[Xyzse]

4. Well, I wish I could get in to this research.

Getting paid to drink wine and eat chocolate just sounds an awesome deal to me.

[Jim Lane]

9. The catch is that you might be randomly assigned to the control group.

You'd have to agree that, for the duration of the experiment, you'll abstain from wine and chocolate, so that they can do a valid comparison.

[Xyzse]

14. Nooooo...

As long as there is choc'late in the end, it's fine.

[NV Whino]

5. Just for the record...

Don't eat milk chocolate with red wine.

[elleng]

6. Well I don't care what they say,

Dad ate chocolate OFTEN and lived to be 98, and I'm working on it!!!

[Prophet 451]

7. As a psychologist

I'll write a memo that red wine and chocolate are essential to your mental health.

[struggle4progress]

11. You are a true man of medicine!

[Archae]

8. Eat healthy! Die anyway.

[pinboy3niner]

10. Next they'll try to tell us bacon isn't good for you

Like we're gonna believe that!

[struggle4progress]

12. The Illuminati are behind it

[In_The_Wind]

13. They tried to tell us that butter is a no-no.

http://www.brogayoga.com/2013/10/does-fat-make-you-fat/

http://bacontoday.com/top-10-reasons-bacon-is-actually-healthy-for-you/