I Am 24 Year Old, I Am Doing Nothing With My Life? Where Did I Go Wrong?Seriously?

[Corey_Baker08]

You my not know me but ive been a DU member since I was 14 in 2004 Working My Ass Off For The Kerry Campaign Because I Believed, Still believe & probably always will believe that John F Kerry would have been a damn good President. So while I love all the mature political adulthood, I mean really digging into it, dedicating my life after 2004 to going to every political gathering on a Friday night while all my friends were out living their lives through the years I mean next thing ya know Im 16 and there in the anti war effort and then time flies when your having fun I, or so I guess.

I just don't wanna be another statistic ya know, Im a guy and im single and i cannot even find anyone to be with, ya know whly?

[NYC_SKP]

1. While your friends were out living their lives, you were out living yours...

And, I'll bet, it was a more fulfilling life for you.

I hope you find happiness, I'd say you deserve it.

Take care!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Dude, you're only 24! You're still just a kid and you have lots and lots of time

to "do something" with your life. Keep doing whatever excites you.

[Chan790]

3. Dude, you're 24.

Stop sweating it. Really. Relax. Kick up your feet.

Two days hence, on Thursday, go to the bar nearest the local college. Strike up a conversation with a person of the gender and orientation that appeals to you. Have a drink or two. Ask them if you can buy them a drink. Maybe they say yes. Maybe they say no. If they say yes, buy them a drink and have a conversation. Maybe they invite you back to their place. Maybe you have sex. Maybe not. Maybe you say "I'd really like to take you out some time." Maybe they say yes. Dating is about taking risks, falling on your face, and repeating the process until it works. I believe in the radical success of perseverance and honesty.

What doesn't work is dwelling on it and posting about your lack of success on the internet. It comes across badly.

(Why should you listen to me? Well, I'm 35, overweight, balding, myopic, have a minor disability (I'm extremely hard-of-hearing.) I have more success with women than any MRA or PUA asshole I've ever met, my female friends call me a "good guy" and actively work to get me laid by their friends that deserve "a good guy". They do that despite everybody involved knowing that I'm not-monogamous or interested in relationships. I take both "Yes" and "No" gracefully. It's not about perfecting your game...I have better game than anybody because I have no game...I'm charming, intelligent, witty, entertaining, fun, honest, upfront about what I want, genuine and decent. That's all most anybody wants...that and high-quality lovemaking. (I can't brag...it's immodest. I get no complaints though.) My one fault is that I tend to get very tongue-tied around women I really like.)


Edit: I'd say I can teach this, but there's nothing to learn. Just be genuinely you. If it's meant to be, they'll be hooked by circumstance. If they don't find you attractive or your interests interesting...other potential yes abound.

[Gravitycollapse]

4. I'm 24 as well and had an existential crisis after college graduation last fall.

I left my ex, my academic career was over (or so I thought). I was another statistic for useless college degrees (political science). I was stuck at a dead end job that paid shit (still am actually).

I'm still in the netherworld of uncertainty. But at least now I have hope again since I've decided to apply for graduate school. I think academia will likely turn out to be my destiny. And I didn't have a destiny 7 months ago.

My love life is still in shambles but I'm okay with that. It almost feels like I know I'll find love in the future and, again, that optimism is something I did not have 7 months ago. I felt like I would never be with someone ever again.

The question you have to ask yourself is why don't you think you can find anyone to be with?

[Phentex]

11. I don't know you but

based on your posts here I think you have a lot going for you.

[Chan790]

12. The dreaded Political Science degree.

It's actually valuable to employers looking for people in analytical or non-scientific research jobs (banking, paralegal, municipal clerk/office-of-records, even land-developers) but they don't tell you that's where you should be looking for a job...they just send you out into the world and let you flounder. Most political science jobs never have anything to do with politics ever again.

Likewise, combined with a practical skill, it makes you a more appealing candidate. Someone has to be the _______ that deals with regulation, bureaucracy...that was one of my first jobs. I worked for a foundry as the person that dealt with neighbor and municipal concerns, met with environmentalists to discuss their concerns and how we could be better stewards--more often to reassure them that we weren't dumping wastewater and cast-off into the nearby brook (The fish were dying and it honestly had nothing to do with us. We use captive-water systems...they actually save us money because we can reuse the sand & water and sift out a few tons on FeO/year to recycle into iron. We have no environmental impact...we're the model the state of CT points to that it can be done.), managed compliance with CT DEP, CT DoL, OSHA. I actually pretty much ended up doing everything that was in any way a pain in the butt.

See, they send you to school and let you think you're majoring in politics...you're actually majoring in "interpreting impacts from data" (How can this benefit/screw us?), "how to conduct textual research" (Lookin' sh*t up!) and "conveying social agenda" (Bullsh*tting!)

It took me 4 years to figure out that my Political Theory education was really an education in how to manipulate outcomes of bureaucracy to help people. That makes it sound awful but the first time you manage to keep something awful from being built or passed or happening for some utterly bullshit reason...it's the best day of your week. I once managed to get a rec. center built that had been lodged in bureaucratic hell for so long that most everybody involved had forgotten that the money had already been allotted and was sitting in market accounts gaining interest and had in-fact doubled in the 11 years it had been sitting there...so now the city wanted the land back to sell to developers and the money back to build more luxury boxes at Nationals Park. Bullshitting saved the day. It's a beautiful rec. center...if you're even in DC, you can go see it, it's in Brookland next to Brookland Elementary.

[hollysmom]

5. I wikll be 69 in 2 weeks - Probably wsted a lot more of my life than you have yours

Ha ha ,

But I wasted it earning a living which I am now benefiting from in retirement (having money does not hurt). or being in a marriage with someone who just could not care about anything other than himself. When I would go to a political rally, it was alone, when I went to concerts of music, it was alone - instead he got to snicker and make fun of me for doing these things like it was weird or something- What was I thinking? What did he do - not much. Of course eventually he had an affair and had kids with his new wife - got to pass on his useless opinions to them I guess, don't know.

In the meanwhile, I look around and find a lot of older people are just... old. I volunteer for charities and make new friends all the time, I still support and work for candidates. My only regret in life was not getting divorced much much earlier - so don't get saddled to a do nothing, enjoy your life, you will meet someone with the same interests some day. And get a dog.

[DFW]

6. Sometimes, luck jumps out at you when you don't even recognize it

After I graduated from college, I basically vegetated for a year, and occupying my time was often a supreme effort. Then, suddenly, I ran into someone who said, let's have a talk, you have some skills we might be able to use.

That was in 1975, a year after my college graduation. It involved a move, and a risk. Today, I'm station chief for Europe of that same outfit, and at 62, I figure infirmity or the Grim Reaper will retire me, because I can't see doing anything else. I lucked into meeting a fabulous woman from Europe, and we're celebrating having met exactly 40 years ago this month.

In June 1974 after graduating? Except for knowing I had had enough of school for a while, I didn't know where the hell my life was going. It took a full year for me to find a direction. Even then, if you had told me I had found something to occupy me for the next 40 years, I'd have said you're nuts.

There's always SOMEthing out there. There's always someONE out there. Just don't let your chance(s) pass you by. They won't always slap you in the face when you're confronted with them, so look for them, recognize them and take them.

[nomorenomore08]

23. "There's always SOMEthing out there. There's always someONE out there. Just don't let your chance(s)

pass you by."

This. So much.

[JI7]

7. Are you worried about finding a job ?

[GOLGO 13]

8. Shotgun approach...

Even before & after I got out of college I took every state/city/federal job test that I was over/qualified for. By the time I graduated I was getting responses back. I was extremely lucky enough to pick/choose whom should I work for.
Now I'm already 19+ years into my state job with 6 yrs to go till retirement and I'm still getting letters from govt. agencies/employers that I applied to years ago. I would have had no problem jumping onto a lawn mower to cut grass on the highway if it meant a job with a union/pension.

Don't know what the ration of men/women are in your area, but if your not in the game you'll never "score". Excuse the sport euphemism.

[Iggo]

9. Wow! If I was 24 again I'd be up to sooo much nothin' it'd maker your head spin.

Eat good food. Listen to good music. Screw anything that moves.

You'll never be that young again.

[nomorenomore08]

24. ...

I don't know about the third, but I've certainly done plenty of the first two. Still lots of time though.

[MrMickeysMom]

10. Corey, I think most of this advice is worth taking...

Just don't over-think it too much. You've already become aware of a world much soon than most humanoids. You are special. So… you shouldn't settle to keep up with the Jones's, as they say. There are no Jones's.

You are in charge of your own destiny. You are part of a generation who are geared to a much "bigger" world than the one surrounding one night stands or the lure of a relationship (at any cost!)

Like Chevy Chase said in Caddyshack, "Be the BALL".



MMM

[femmocrat]

13. You are still young enough to continue your education!*

If you can't afford it, look into every possible path to get there.

*Heck... you are never "too old" to resume your education! I went back at age 40 and then landed a very good career.

[IronLionZion]

14. Do you want a job or a girlfriend or what exactly?

I share your frustrations. I strongly recommend going after a job you want first, and then going after a girlfriend second.

My biggest mistake was I had a girlfriend who was controlling my life and that caused me to make some very dumbass decisions that I regret just to please her. And she would never be pleased. I would be in a stronger position to meet women if I had a normal stable job first and a strong backbone. Decent women like that. Be wary of women who are interested in you when you're in a vulnerable state.

The other advice is NEVER stop training. There's a ton of free training courses and materials online for all sorts of stuff, including complete college classes. I've taken stuff recently that I wish I had taken in college. It's a good thing to bring up in interviews.

And exercise. Be healthy.

And my biggest weakness is networking. I don't have much people skills or much of a job network. plus I hate people. It's a problem for me. If you're social and good at meeting people then you can leverage that into job interviews and dates.

It's not for everyone but have you considered consulting? We take people from all sorts of backgrounds to do all sorts of things. It's deliberately ambiguous. In the management/strategy field nobody knows for sure what we want to do, or what we are going to do. It's more of having the mindset to be capable of going anywhere at a moment's notice and doing anything and do it well. My colleagues have successfully leveraged this type of experience into getting more clarity on what they want and are capable of doing, and then get a normal job down the road.

[dawg]

15. Where did you go wrong????

You haven't even *gone* yet at all.

Seriously, the whole world is spread out for you like a smorgasbord. It's all up to you.


Edited to add: I know things can be frustrating. I remember what it was like to be younger. But at 24, there is no reason at all to be in a hurry. Having a partner is great, and I had one when I was 24. She was incredibly sexy and we had lots in common. But now I'm alone. So I'm in the same boat as you, except I'm not 24 anymore. But don't worry, because it's all good. There are so many different things that can fill your life and make it worthwhile. Careers and romantic relationships are only part of the story. Don't make any one aspect of life out to be more important than it really is.

[KamaAina]

16. I am 49 years old

and mine isn't going anywhere, either.

[wyldwolf]

17. Your best years are ahead of you, man!

I think you're aching to make a difference. You have a calling. But a calling can come in many ways.

[Tobin S.]

18. I agree with the higher education scenario. Chicks dig smart dudes.

And you would not believe the amount of fine looking women in college. There are more women going to college now days than men, so you might find yourself in demand on campus.

So, go to school and get that higher education and get experienced in the ways of women. That's what you need to be doing right now. There will be plenty of time to settle down in a good relationship and get a steady gig later on. At your age, most people now days just aren't ready for that stuff anyway. After you graduate school you'll be 28, and by that time you'll be ready for a career and a wife. Don't stress about that stuff right now.

[Generic Brad]

19. I felt the same way at 24

I wanted to make a difference in the world, but my efforts seemed unneeded and unappreciated. I longed for love, but no female seemed interested in me.

Fast forward to my 50's and I have been married to an awesome lady for the past 29 years. I am at the top of my career and I have very fulfilling and demanding volunteer work. It eventually all comes together. You will eventually make a difference. You will eventually find love. Keep putting yourself out there and your current rough patch will be over before you realize it.

[steve2470]

20. I think you've been given a lot of good advice

You're only 6 years older than my son, and he JUST started enjoying the fruits and responsibilities of adulthood. Pursue your career, improve yourself as people have suggested, and have a reasonable social life. Don't get desperate to meet someone and get married. I made that mistake. It WILL happen (the meeting someone part), but it's all in the statistics/probability. The more you socialize, the more likely you are to meet compatible people. Just don't OVERDO the socializing or come across as desperate.

Make friends, have fun. Relax, you are very young and have tons of time to meet people.

Good luck and hugs from all of us at DU.

[Onlooker]

21. Maybe you're just a late bloomer

I was caught up in politics too until my mid 20s, after which I fell into a relationship, and politics took a back seat after that. I mean, I am so glad for all I did in politics, still am somewhat involved, still enjoy it more than any sport, and know a heck of a lot about politics, history, and culture. Now, since you're 24, maybe if you do anything political, pay more attention to the relationships and less attention to the cause, and sooner or later you'll meet someone. If you don't know how to approach people that way, talk with your friends about it. They can probably give you some pointers. So, you didn't go wrong, you're just starting a little later than a lot of people. Nothin' wrong with that.

[Corey_Baker08]

22. First Of All I Would Like To Say Thank-You For All The Support...

I do wanna apologize for this thread about my life's problems. As I look at the support and the great advice and expertise given, I do not, however regret posting this because the response has been very real & I take all of your advice personally.

So last night, after realizing I could put my DU screen-name into the DU Search bar and up comes everything I've ever posted, all the way to my very first post as a 14 year old, reading on and on, mostly about the struggles I was facing & the challenges that were sure to lay ahead.

I mean I can literally see & read a timeline of my life for the past 10 years here on DU about everything from introducing myself & always having so many here on DU read my posts, whether the context was political or personal, I always got such an enormous amount of support from so many here on DU, and believe me, that meant, and still means a hell of alot to me, and I mean that very much.

I happened to come across the post that I remember I was so eager & honored to have been able to write to all those here on DU about Election Fraud here in Ohio. Obviously what brought me to Democratic-Underground was what probably brought many of you here for, to have the opportunity to listen & learn from so many of DU'ers.

In late 2003 at the young age of 13, I can remembering vividly the day I stumbled across Democratic-Underround finding this website, that was at first glance just a website to me, but the longer I read DU my mind was just amazed. You see Ive lived in a very Conservative place in Ohio, which happens to be that my district is reprsented by John Boehner.

So to me finding a

[orleans]

27. what happened to the rest of the post? "so to me finding a..." what?

i wanted to keep reading but it just stops
(did you fall asleep? are you okay?)

my advice to you was going to be/is:
go out with some friends and have a good time. don't be so serious, don't talk politics. go out with a light heart and a happy mindset.
smile
listen
be charming
dance!

and then do it all again in the daytime--at a park

be open, make small talk, and smile

and don't talk about religion. or politics.

see what happens. be open for wonderful, new experiences and people.

end of 2 cents

[nomorenomore08]

25. I'm 5-6 years older than you (30 in October) and I ask myself the same thing.

I graduated college in 2007 at age 22, and if not for the (nearly) four books I've written since then, I really would have nothing to show. I'm a pretty slow, methodical writer even when I don't have writer's block - and those times are precious nowadays - but somehow I managed to finish two (going on three) novels and a number of short stories. Relationship-wise, I wouldn't say I'm a failure so much as I've barely gotten started, with nothing to show there either aside from a few brief flings.

On the positive side, though, I'm living a much healthier, "cleaner" lifestyle than a couple of years ago, and even if I'm basically just as socially awkward and borderline misanthropic as I've always been, I at least still have a number of solid friendships with people who've been in my life for many years. Now I'm back living with my folks in an inner East Bay suburb, which, believe me, is a lot better than where I was before. For a while I was about two degrees from living in the gutter.

So yeah, sorry there's no real advice in this post, but I guess that's because I'm in more or less the same boat you are. Our whole generation is pretty screwed, when you get down to it. Even more so than Gen X, we're living in the aftermath of the Baby Boomers' colossal screw-ups - not every Boomer individually (duh!) but their collective turn towards self-centeredness and conservatism. In a way, Clinton's rightward drift during his time in office isn't a bad analogy for what happened to much of his generation, and by extension the country as a whole.

I want to wrap this up before it turns into a lengthy political rant, but good luck, keep your head up, and (*insert cliche here*). Like they say, we Millennials just might save the world, if it's not too late to save already.

[davidpdx]

26. You still have plenty of time to find out what you want to do

There are a lot of ways to go about figuring it out. Sit down and brainstorm the things you like to do and look up what jobs are associated with them. Politics is a limited road as you really have to start at the bottom and work your way up in a campaign to get a position (and of course there is no guarantee the person you are working for will win). On the other hand, non-profits often do some of the same work.

[PasadenaTrudy]

28. I'm still trying to figure it out at 50

Oh to be 24 again....