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Related: Culture Forums, Support Forumsomg. so early.
my day shift supervisor hasn't asked for a day off all year and we're slow enough that i offered to cover him today and tomorrow so he can have a long weekend. i'm regretting it just a bit because getting up at 7 is a lot different than getting up at 11. he's lucky i like him.
Xyzse
(8,217 posts)fizzgig
(24,146 posts)Xyzse
(8,217 posts)And have a hard time sleeping, most times I fall asleep after 3.
Which really sucks.
Hope you have a great day though.
Take frequent stand-up/walk breaks. It really helps.
fizzgig
(24,146 posts)but I'm lucky to lead a life where going in at noon is an early day.
Xyzse
(8,217 posts)chknltl
(10,558 posts)I suppose 'stole' is a bit harsh a word but I certainly got it from you. "What is the opposite of irony?" I saw it on a photo you posted a while back. I tell a lot of clean jokes to the young ladies at the latte stand I stop in at regularly and they tell 'em back at me. I like making people smile and that particular joke was quite popular for a while, thank you. Here is one back at you from one of those baristas: How does one make water holey? ans: Boil the hell out of it of course!
Thanks again
c
fizzgig
(24,146 posts)How do you know the ocean is a friendly place? It's always waving.
chknltl
(10,558 posts)Thanks fizzgig, the latte makers are gonna love that one!
fizzgig
(24,146 posts)i always need clean jokes for work.
chknltl
(10,558 posts)Some I got from the young ladies at the Latte stand, others I snatched from the DU Lounge and one I got long ago from an elderly lady who I suspect has passed on by now. I'll start with hers as it was one of her favorites and one of my favorites too.
"What do you get when you kiss a sick bird?" Ans.: Chirpies!...it's a Canarial disease...it's Untweetable. (pause between each for best effect btw which is exactly how the elderly lady told it to me some thirty plus years ago. She was a bartender for much of her life, had a coarse sense of humor so she followed up the Chirpies joke with: "Wanna know how to get gator-aids?"
This one I stole from the DU Lounge recently: What is the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup?
Ans: Most folks know how to roast....beef. (This one sometimes gets a blank stare before the lightbulb goes on and giggles happen).
I generally think blonde jokes are misogynistic but this one is just too cute and has gotten the best giggles out of the girls at the Latte stand: A Russian, an American and a blonde were having a discussion. The Russian bragged; "You know, we Russians were the first ones to venture into space". The American, not to be outdone replied; "Yeah but we Americans were the first ones on the moon". The Blonde wasn't about to be left out of the one-upmanship so she said; "Yeah well we blondes will be the first ones on the sun!" The American burst out laughing but the Russian looked a bit puzzled when he asked the blonde: "...But you DO KNOW that you will burn up if you get anywhere near the sun?" The blonde replied to him: "Shows what you know....we ain't THAT stupid, we'll go at NIGHT!"
I have an even lengthier 'The Blonde gets Even' joke that I follow up with but I'll save it for now.
Some more I got from the gals at the Latte stand:
What kind of bear has no teeth? ans: A Gummy Bear!
What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? ans: A receding hare-line. What do you call ten rabbits marching backward on top of a blimp? Rush Limbaughs receding hareline.
What do you get from a pampered cow? ans: Spoiled Milk!
nuff for now cause I can't recall the ones we told each other earlier... I will ask them for a refresher. They truly did like your irony joke and I still get a lot of miles out of it. I recently told it to a Republican over at the Discussionist who goes by the name 'Irony'-he laughed at it but sadly that was the only laugh we shared.
fizzgig
(24,146 posts)it's a hit!
I am told that this is from a nine year old:
"What do you call a chicken that plays in the mud then crosses the road then crosses the road again? "
"A dirty double-crosser!"
Chickens are not so tall so i think one can modify the answer to: "A lowdown dirty double-crosser!"
Either way, everyone seems to like the joke pretty well.
c