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KamaAina

(78,249 posts)
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 03:38 PM Jul 2014

20 Books You Pretend to Have Read

http://bookriot.com/2013/07/17/top-20-books-you-pretend-to-have-read/

We’re nosy here at the Riot, and we like to talk about all the aspects of the reading life…even the ones we might be a little bit embarrassed to own up to. So last week, we asked you to confess the books you pretend you’ve read. It’s good to get these things out in the open!

828 readers completed the survey, listing 412 unique titles. We’ve got a lot of dead white guys on this list, and only 3 contemporary titles. Of them, two are massive commercial successes that penetrated mainstream culture (Harry Potter and Fifty Shades) and which many people have likely pretended to read in order to participate in conversations. The other (Infinite Jest) is regarded as a Great Work in literary circles, so its appearance on this list makes sense given Book Riot’s readership, even if it’s not as recognizable not-so-hardcore book nerds. At least, that’s my take.

Check out the list below and tell us what you make of it, won’t ya? (Click here to see the full set of responses.)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (85 mentions)
Ulysses by James Joyce
Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
The Bible
1984 by George Orwell
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Harry Potter (series) by J.K. Rowling
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens (21 mentions)


Why would anyone pretend to have read 50 Shades of Dreck?!
74 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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20 Books You Pretend to Have Read (Original Post) KamaAina Jul 2014 OP
Read them all except War and Peace (started it), Infinite Jest, and Fifty Shades of Grey. onehandle Jul 2014 #1
Breakfast At Tiffanys /George Costanza Initech Jul 2014 #2
Does watching half the movie at someone else's house count? arcane1 Jul 2014 #4
Did you both kind of like it? Art_from_Ark Aug 2014 #67
That's one thing we got. arcane1 Aug 2014 #68
Or did you wind up spilling grape juice on the couch? Initech Aug 2014 #69
I've got Moby Dick, most of the Bible (probably more than many fundies), KamaAina Jul 2014 #3
The last book ruined the entire series for me. Coventina Jul 2014 #15
Ha, I was skimming titles and thought you were talking about the last book of the Bible cemaphonic Jul 2014 #65
I've read about half of em. OffWithTheirHeads Jul 2014 #5
Read 7 of them and parts of others. n/t JimDandy Jul 2014 #6
Of that list I have only read Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #7
I read "My Pet Goat"... Tom_Foolery Jul 2014 #8
LOL! BlueJazz Jul 2014 #33
I pretended... CanSocDem Jul 2014 #9
I've only read 3 (and one wasn't the bible). nt valerief Jul 2014 #10
LOL!! ailsagirl Jul 2014 #26
I've read 10 and parts of others NV Whino Jul 2014 #11
Impossible to keep them straight. redwitch Jul 2014 #16
I would never claim to have read either Jenoch Jul 2014 #12
Nice post, Muggle! KamaAina Jul 2014 #13
I'm really a Mudblood. Jenoch Jul 2014 #19
I've read 18 of those. LWolf Jul 2014 #14
That's quite an interesting list! Coventina Jul 2014 #17
Do Cliff's Notes count? antiquie Jul 2014 #18
Who reads Cliff's notes? Now you can watch them progressoid Jul 2014 #24
This gen has it so easy, why in my day... antiquie Jul 2014 #29
I have read 6 of them. nt ohnoyoudidnt Jul 2014 #20
there were only two on that list I haven't read, nor will I. niyad Jul 2014 #21
Ok I'm fucking pissed at my laptop!!! raptor_rider Jul 2014 #22
I don't pretend raptor_rider Jul 2014 #23
Ah, there is no frigate like a book... ailsagirl Jul 2014 #25
Oh to translate Shakespeare!!! raptor_rider Jul 2014 #27
One could make Shakespeare his/her hobby for a lifetime ailsagirl Jul 2014 #36
A girl with the same heart raptor_rider Jul 2014 #41
.... ailsagirl Jul 2014 #55
..... raptor_rider Jul 2014 #59
In a surprise to nobody, I've read all 20. Chan790 Jul 2014 #28
You read 50 Shades Of Derp? KamaAina Jul 2014 #30
Uh oh... raptor_rider Jul 2014 #42
I've been asked that question twice lately... Chan790 Jul 2014 #43
Atlas Shrugged didn't make the list? Marie Marie Jul 2014 #31
DUzy! KamaAina Jul 2014 #32
It's damn hard to read when it's propping up a wobbly table. bluesbassman Jul 2014 #35
Good one. Marie Marie Jul 2014 #39
Another DUzy! KamaAina Jul 2014 #49
It was but was bumped off the list by 'Fifty Shades of Grey' LynneSin Aug 2014 #74
I read a decent amount of them when I was young (8-14) BlueJazz Jul 2014 #34
I've met a few people who've actually finished Ulysses but if you mackerel Jul 2014 #37
I've read everything by James Joyce. Chan790 Jul 2014 #45
Have you been to bloomsday? mackerel Jul 2014 #64
Not in Dublin, no. Chan790 Jul 2014 #66
I don't pretend to read any books. kentauros Jul 2014 #38
Read 8, parts or more of a dozen and a half. Fearless Jul 2014 #40
I have read most of the Bible. Of the others... Glorfindel Jul 2014 #44
I've read eight ... surrealAmerican Jul 2014 #46
You should. It's actually quite short. A bit dated, but a good read. Glorfindel Jul 2014 #47
I didn't read The Great Gatsby until I was inspired to read it by Chris Bohjalian's novel seaglass Aug 2014 #70
But I have read all those! joeybee12 Jul 2014 #48
I listened to the Harry Potter series on tape. Does that count? Still Blue in PDX Jul 2014 #50
Of course. KamaAina Jul 2014 #54
I thought I was the only person of my generation who has never read NewJeffCT Jul 2014 #51
Seven bikebloke Jul 2014 #52
Some I finished, some I started... MattSh Jul 2014 #53
I've read several of those sakabatou Jul 2014 #56
I've read The Bible, War and Peace and The Lord of the Rings. None of the others. Kaleva Jul 2014 #57
Read them all jrandom421 Jul 2014 #58
I've actually read all of those except Fifty Shades of Grey. Spider Jerusalem Jul 2014 #60
Read them all except for the wizard and spanking titles Tom Ripley Jul 2014 #61
1984 and The Lord Of The Rings. Iggo Jul 2014 #62
"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". Jamaal510 Jul 2014 #63
I've read all of them except Fifty Shades of Grey and Infinite Jest. Never even sinkingfeeling Aug 2014 #71
I've read a lot of those! Raffi Ella Aug 2014 #72
Read 12 of them, but some were decades ago Lydia Leftcoast Aug 2014 #73

onehandle

(51,122 posts)
1. Read them all except War and Peace (started it), Infinite Jest, and Fifty Shades of Grey.
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 03:44 PM
Jul 2014

At least that's what I claim...

 

KamaAina

(78,249 posts)
3. I've got Moby Dick, most of the Bible (probably more than many fundies),
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 03:47 PM
Jul 2014

1984, LotR, Catcher in the Rye, Catch-22, To Kill A Mockingbird, and most of Harry Potter (my boss in Hawai'i was my supplier; when she switched to audio books mid-series, I was cut off )

Coventina

(27,064 posts)
15. The last book ruined the entire series for me.
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:03 PM
Jul 2014

I was a HP fan, but no longer.

Terrible, terrible finale for the series.

So, in a way I envy you. You stopped while it was still fun.

cemaphonic

(4,138 posts)
65. Ha, I was skimming titles and thought you were talking about the last book of the Bible
Wed Jul 30, 2014, 02:08 AM
Jul 2014

"But that's the best one!"

And I agree - the Harry Potter series kept getting steadily better right up to the penultimate one, but the final book was terrible. With all of the stuff left to tie up, she added a whole other set of McGuffins to chase after (long past the point where such devices are even necessary) and then killed the pacing dead by having the main characters go camping for what seemed like half of the book.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
7. Of that list I have only read
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 03:59 PM
Jul 2014

Last edited Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:29 PM - Edit history (1)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
The Bible
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

I have tried to read David Foster Wallace ... dude is way too wordy for my taste. Hemingway is more my style.

 

CanSocDem

(3,286 posts)
9. I pretended...
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 05:00 PM
Jul 2014


...to have read Great Expectations for an English class. I also pretended to have read Beyond Freedom and Dignity by BF Skinner for an educ psychology class.

I still haven't read them but I have stopped saying 'I have...'.

This would be the first time I've announced it to the world.

.

NV Whino

(20,886 posts)
11. I've read 10 and parts of others
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 05:14 PM
Jul 2014

If I could have kept the characters straight, I would have finished War and Peace, but….

redwitch

(14,941 posts)
16. Impossible to keep them straight.
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:08 PM
Jul 2014

As each one has a dozen or so nicknames. Drove me crazy! I didn't finish it either.

 

Jenoch

(7,720 posts)
12. I would never claim to have read either
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 05:59 PM
Jul 2014

50 Shades of Grey or Harry Potter. In fact, if I had read them, I would lie and claim to have not read them.

LWolf

(46,179 posts)
14. I've read 18 of those.
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:43 PM
Jul 2014

No pretending. All but 50 shades and Infinite Jest.

I'm sure there's something out there I've pretended to have read, but I can't think of what it would be.

Coventina

(27,064 posts)
17. That's quite an interesting list!
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:08 PM
Jul 2014

Ones I have read:

Pride and Prejudice (I've read ALL of Austen's stuff, Emma is my favorite, non-fantasy novel)
The Bible
Lord of the Rings - many times, one of my all time favs.
The Great Gatsby - had to read it in high school. Thought it was a massive bore. It's not a young persons's novel. You have to be old enough to be cynical to get anything out of it, I think.
Anna Karenina - I thought some parts were fantastic, others seemed to really drag.
To Kill A Mockingbird - I think this is the great American Novel. This, and no other.
Crime and Punishment - I found it difficult, but super rewarding.
Harry Potter - loved books 1-5. book 6 was uneven. Book 7 ruined everything. Wish I had stopped at 5.

 

antiquie

(4,299 posts)
29. This gen has it so easy, why in my day...
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 11:09 PM
Jul 2014

we even used card catalogs at the library to complete our bibliographies.

raptor_rider

(1,014 posts)
22. Ok I'm fucking pissed at my laptop!!!
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 09:27 PM
Jul 2014

I had a good list going of books that I have read. I'm on my iPad right not, however I can tell you I've ready most of bothe Stephen King, and Dean Koontz. All of Harry Potter and Twilight. (Yes, I have a teen daughter, however has not touched the grey series.)

I grew up reading Mr. King and Mr. Koontz. Also Mary Clark. All great writers!!!

raptor_rider

(1,014 posts)
23. I don't pretend
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 09:30 PM
Jul 2014

I read!! I'd rather do that than watch tv, then it'll be taking away from my kids. Once I get reading, I'm in another world!!!

ailsagirl

(22,887 posts)
25. Ah, there is no frigate like a book...
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 10:02 PM
Jul 2014

But not those books. I just about died of boredom when we had to read Moby Dick in college. UGH!!!

(Well, some of them are OK (i.e., To Kill a Mockingbird)

Give me Shakespeare any day. I know he's a poet and a playwright (and hasn't written books, as such), but he's tops, in my book.

raptor_rider

(1,014 posts)
27. Oh to translate Shakespeare!!!
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 10:20 PM
Jul 2014

I'd spend as many hours that I could!!!

He was a sweetie, with a twist!!!

ailsagirl

(22,887 posts)
36. One could make Shakespeare his/her hobby for a lifetime
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 12:18 AM
Jul 2014

Never does it become dull and to be able to quote The Bard (when apropos) is heaven!

"sigh"

 

Chan790

(20,176 posts)
28. In a surprise to nobody, I've read all 20.
Mon Jul 28, 2014, 10:39 PM
Jul 2014

In a more civilized world where it would have represented a real career with decent pay and prestige I'd have become a Professor of Literature, Humanities or Art History.

Edit: In a quick scan of the longer list of all 412 "books" (some responses are actually authors and there's a few presumably non-serious responses like "car usage manual&quot there's about a total of 20 I haven't read.

 

Chan790

(20,176 posts)
43. I've been asked that question twice lately...
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 07:44 AM
Jul 2014

I'm going to link to the previous answer which spans two posts even though it seems a bit academic and pretentious.

Short answer: I think it's both disingenuous and sophistic to criticize works that one has not read/watched/experienced...so I read things I know going in that I am going to hate. I read E.L. James for the same reason I read Ayn Rand...so that I had a detailed and in-depth experience of what I was going to be critical of. As a further note, it was so bad that I abandoned it...but that in-itself is a valid experience of a creative work.

Part 1: http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5301209

In response to a response to Part 1
Part 2: http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5303469

 

BlueJazz

(25,348 posts)
34. I read a decent amount of them when I was young (8-14)
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 12:06 AM
Jul 2014

I got interested in Sci-fi after that & started reading Asimov, Farmer..etc.

mackerel

(4,412 posts)
37. I've met a few people who've actually finished Ulysses but if you
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 12:22 AM
Jul 2014

start saying you've finished Finnegan's Wake well ....

 

Chan790

(20,176 posts)
45. I've read everything by James Joyce.
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 07:58 AM
Jul 2014

If I ever win the lottery, I'm going back to school for an English Ph.D. My doctoral dissertation will probably be on James Joyce or Roberto Bolaño in some form. I really love difficult long slice-of-life novels.

 

Chan790

(20,176 posts)
66. Not in Dublin, no.
Wed Jul 30, 2014, 08:01 AM
Jul 2014

I've attended Bloomsday parties (Lit nerds tend to have lit nerd friends) but never any of the large celebrations like the one in Dublin or even the one in Wilmington, NC.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
38. I don't pretend to read any books.
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 12:43 AM
Jul 2014

And to be perfectly honest, I haven't read (or finished reading) any in that list. The "classics" never interested me much. Although I did like Homer's "The Odyssey" when I had to read it in university.

I prefer science fiction, especially that from the "Golden Age." Oh wait. I forgot. Classicists don't consider "sci-fi" to be literature

Glorfindel

(9,720 posts)
44. I have read most of the Bible. Of the others...
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 07:54 AM
Jul 2014

I started and discarded "Crime and Punishment" and "Anna Karenina." I read about four pages of "Ulysses" and decided it was verbal vomit. I have no interest in "Fifty Shades of Grey." I may read "Infinite Jest" one of these days. I have read all the rest, some several times (Tolkien, Lee). "A Tale of Two Cities" is my favorite novel ever.

surrealAmerican

(11,358 posts)
46. I've read eight ...
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 10:07 AM
Jul 2014

... and parts of two others. I never did make it through Moby Dick, and I've been "meaning to" read The Great Gatsby for many years - maybe this will be the year I do.

seaglass

(8,171 posts)
70. I didn't read The Great Gatsby until I was inspired to read it by Chris Bohjalian's novel
Fri Aug 1, 2014, 10:03 AM
Aug 2014

The Double Bind.

I liked The Great Gatsby but preferred The Double Bind.

http://www.chrisbohjalian.com/the-double-bind

 

joeybee12

(56,177 posts)
48. But I have read all those!
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 11:59 AM
Jul 2014

Actually, haven't read Infinte Jest
Refuse to read 50 Shades mainly because run-away hits are always crap
Read the first Harry Potter, started the second, thought I was reading the first again...JK had quite the scam going, don't you think?

Still Blue in PDX

(1,999 posts)
50. I listened to the Harry Potter series on tape. Does that count?
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 01:22 PM
Jul 2014

I read Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, and 1984.

I attempted to read The Lord of the Rings in high school but never got through the third book. Watched the first film and remembered why I never finished the books.

I read the Reader's Digest Condensed version of To Kill a Mockingbird.

I read the whole Bible and became a pagan. I was intrigued by those other gods that aren't supposed to come before the biblical one.

 

KamaAina

(78,249 posts)
54. Of course.
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 01:53 PM
Jul 2014

That's why I never finished the series; my boss would give me the books as she finished them, but she switched to audio books in mid-series. Some commenters have noted that the last two sucked, anyway.

NewJeffCT

(56,828 posts)
51. I thought I was the only person of my generation who has never read
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 01:25 PM
Jul 2014

Catcher in the Rye.

I know I've read 1984, Lord of the Rings, Anna Karenina, To Kill a Mockingbird and Harry Potter.

MattSh

(3,714 posts)
53. Some I finished, some I started...
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 01:38 PM
Jul 2014

Finished

War and Peace
1984

Started and might have finished - don't remember (it's been a long time)!

Moby-Dick
The Great Gatsby
Great Expectations
A Tale of Two Cities

 

Spider Jerusalem

(21,786 posts)
60. I've actually read all of those except Fifty Shades of Grey.
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 09:21 PM
Jul 2014

And the Bible (which I only read in parts).

Infinite Jest is great if a bit dense and discursive in its prose style, at times (and with odd bits that are straight ripoffs of other writers; there's a whole section that's basically plaigarised from Red Dragon, by Thomas Harris), and I had to read it with two bookmarks because it has c.100 or so pages of notes at the back.

Iggo

(47,537 posts)
62. 1984 and The Lord Of The Rings.
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 10:37 PM
Jul 2014

And to be fair, the bible's really a reference book nowadays, isn't it?

Jamaal510

(10,893 posts)
63. "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire".
Tue Jul 29, 2014, 11:51 PM
Jul 2014

That book was too long for me to read as an 11 year old. I couldn't even get through 1/4 of it.

Raffi Ella

(4,465 posts)
72. I've read a lot of those!
Fri Aug 1, 2014, 12:50 PM
Aug 2014

I tried to read Fifty Shades this week, omg. I cannot believe anyone read that book through. seriously!?

I haven't read Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or the Bible or War & Peace, those type of books don't interest me. But Anna Karenina, Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, Great Expectations, The Great Gatsby, Pride & Prejudice and books like those I have read.

Beyond the books on this list, I've also read a lot of European history books, and Foucault's pendulum. I love European history, I'm fascinated by the Knights Templar et al, and the Kings and Queens and Architecture and Castles of that region. I have a lot of gorgeous old leather bound books about those subjects that were passed down to me from my Grandfather.

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