Don't you hate it when people make suggestions to you, but ignore yours to them?

[Populist_Prole]

I've see it in a few people throughout life, but the worst is someone I work with. An otherwise good person, if a not a bit "wired", who shares many common interests we always like to talk about: History, music, books, politics.

The thing that drives me nuts is that he'll strongly recommend a book, movie, or website that I "just gotta see!". I'll read the books he lends me, go to the website read and usually bookmark, watch the DVD he lent me or put a movie at the top of my Netflix queue and watch it. He'll ask me enthusiastically what I thought. The vast majority of the time I'm glad I did and thank him. If I do the same ( though I do much less often than he does ) he just blows off my suggestions 9 times out of 10. I'll ask him sometime later what he thought and he responds in a slightly sheepish deadpan that he didn't have a chance yet blah blah blah, but simply seemed uninterested. He's returned DVDs or books I've lent after several weeks and never watched or read them. The few times he actually acted on my suggestions ( only after explicitly stating- out of character for me - he'll really really enjoy them ) he was brimming with enthusiasm and wanted to purchase his own.

Jeez.... Do I come across as THAT much of a "type B"?

Eh. Just wanted to get that off my chest and also compare notes.

[geardaddy]

1. That does suck.

Sorry he treats you that way.

[KurtNYC]

2. Some people are just on "output"

I bought a tape deck once and got it home before I realized it had no microphone jacks. Some people remind me of that but your co-worker doesn't sound like one of them.

I would try not to take it personally; he sounds like a nice guy.

[HopeHoops]

3. Simple solution - "No, didn't watch/read/listen/look at that - I was too busy getting laid."

THAT will shut him up.

[gratuitous]

4. Maybe your recommendation needs a little oomph

It's apparently enough for you that your friend recommends something, and the two of your share enough of an interest and his recommendations pan out so that it's worth it to you to follow up. Try adding something to your recommendation, such as "I know you really liked 'X', so I think you'll like 'Y.' I watched/read/checked it out and thought it was really good." Maybe relating it to something else you know he likes is necessary for him to get off the schneid.

[Populist_Prole]

5. I do but it doesn't help.

I guess the dynamic that pisses me off is that I will try the unknown book/movie, unsure of whether it will appeal to me, I do so because I trust someone's judgement, and partly to be a good sport. I would like the same courtesy of having my recommendations considered the same way.

I've stopped short of being an "I told ya so!" smartass when my recommendations are acted on enjoyed, and I query as to why the reluctance? He just sheepishly laughs and says "yeah, I know...." but keeps doing the same thing. Next time he recommends anything to me I'll take either the suggestion posted above or just flatly say If you don't trust my judgement, why should I trust yours.

Some friends expect an immediate reply to every email they send me, but it's like pulling teeth to get them to answer one of mine.

I think it's just self-centered rudeness, or as Kurt said, just stuck on output.

[siligut]

6. How about people who deal out advice but never take yours?

I have taken classes at the advice of a friend, but when I warned her about a bullshit business deal, she ignored me and got taken. Another friend, always ready to tell me how to handle things, but again, ignoring my repeated warning, she lost her job. I did tell her I told her so, I just couldn't help myself.

It is a sort of arrogance I think and I agree, it is rude.

[gratuitous]

7. I got nothin' then

Except to say the only thing that you can change is how you relate to the situation.

[pipi_k]

8. I stopped

suggesting things to one particular friend because every time I did, she would find something wrong with whatever it was I had told her about.

And if she didn't find something wrong with it initially and decided to, for example, buy something from a place I liked, something weird would always happen and she would end up cancelling the order and I would feel like a fool.

I very seldom offer suggestions anymore unless I'm asked, because mostly it's a waste of my time and energy.