You know you live in a small town when...

[Kaleva]

a concerned citizen posts on Facebook asking if anyone knows whose pig is that running loose in town. In responses to the post, it is made known that the pig has been caught and was brought to the local animal shelter.

You know you live in a small town when the village employee drives the town's Ford tractor thru your yard and the neighbors yards as he stops at the homes to read the water meters. His excuse was that his ATV four wheeler, which is what he usually drove on our yards with, had a flat.

[edgineered]

1. The headline in block letters

of the local paper (before Facebook) read: POT FOUND IN KITCHEN FIRE

We knew we were in BFE and laughed, until learning that Charlie got busted for it!

[mackerel]

2. When you know at least half the people your sister is talking about

when she tells you about her AA meetings and she doesn't even use their last names. LOL

[Skittles]

4. you climb the local water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor

oh wait, that's Foxworthy

[Skittles]

3. you decline a hooker's proposition

and she responds, "Say hi to Linda for me."


stolen from a comic

[alarimer]

5. When the front page of the paper highlights the hiring of a new librarian.

It wasn't in the town I live in, but in a community nearby, whose paper only comes out once a week.

[Kaleva]

6. When the front page of the paper highlights the death of the oldest cow in the county

When I was in the Navy, I subscribed to the local weekly paper to keep up with the news.

I should have kept that copy. My shipmates got a big kick out of that one.

[Baitball Blogger]

9. Small towns have the best obituaries.

Creative writing along with a real understanding of the person they're writing about.

[mackerel]

16. LOL! Just last week our front page lead was about a Wild Turkey who has

taken residence just on the outskirts of town.

[pipi_k]

7. My town is so small

that the Police Department, electric department, (only) voting venue, Senior center, mini-theater, and town offices are in the same building.

For real.

[Baitball Blogger]

8. You know you live in a small town when...

...a government employee is found on the side of the road in a ditch and his government car is rolled with empties tossed in the backseat and he gets off because he wasn't found drunk behind the wheel of the car.

...a woman gets repeatedly harassed by a public servant and instead of getting rid of the public servant, she is offered a relocation outside of the county.

Anecdotal, of course.

[tk2kewl]

10. Small Town

[Brother Buzz]

11. You know you live in a small town when...

You borrow YOUR ladder from your neighbor.....and return it when you're done.

[Jamaal510]

12. You know you stay in a small town (Arcata, CA) when...

-some of the streets aren't even lit as you walk home at night.
-there is only one stoplight in the entire town.
-there is only 1 local TV news station.
-the only major fast food chains it has available are a McDonald's and a Round Table.
-it is quiet enough at night to hear the frogs and crickets.
-there are no nightclubs (just a few bars on the plaza).
-the Greyhound bus comes there just once daily.
-there are no longer any functioning railroad tracks.
-the nearest airport is a regional airport.

[rurallib]

13. When your 1st grade daughter doesn't stop at the sitter's after school

and by the time she walks the 5 more blocks home, you have a neighbor in your house to watch her til she comes home.

I never understood why she thought she was supposed to come home that day, but the sitter called and said she kept on walking while the others stopped. She called me, I called the neighbor, an 8th grader, who was in our home when our daughter got home. The 8th grader stayed until I got home about an hour later.

[pinboy3niner]

14. My town was so small we didn't even have a Motel 6

All we had was a Motel 5.

(Stolen from folk/rock singer/songwriter Pete Kennedy of The Kennedys.)

[LeftofObama]

15. My town is so small that when a store got robbed the policeman asked

if the clerk had a description of the robber the clerk said, "It was Dave!"

My town is so boring that our high school colors are brown and beige.

[Kaleva]

18. Lol!

There was a guy who robbed a local bank. Even though the bank robber wore a ski mask, everyone at the scene recognized the get away car so all the police had to do was drive straight to the car owners home and arrest one of the world's dumbest criminals.

[politicat]

17. When the obituaries are on page 2.

Nt

[trof]

19. When you run into the mayor at the Winn-Dixie and say

"Hi, John."
Has happened more than once.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

20. We stayed at a motel in a small town recently.

While we were en route the owner called to tell us she'd be away for the evening but the room keys would be on a hook by the front desk. Sure enough, when we got there the place was unlocked and unattended and the room keys were on the hook. We just let ourselves in.

[Kaleva]

21. From my home in a small town, it's a 90 mile round trip to the nearest fast food joint

[Mr.Bill]

22. When your favorite restaurant

is at the bowling alley. This was actually true for awhile where I live.

Now it's at the lumber yard.

[Arugula Latte]

23. If your name is John Cougar Mellencamp, you might live in a small town.