A FOX Soccer Channel fantasy...
Eric Wynalda: "And with us in the studio today is former Newcastle and England player Warren Barton. What did you think of Barcelona's performance in the first half today, Warren?"
Warren Barton: "I thought them was excellent today, Eric"
EW: "No, you didn't."
WB: "Eh?"
EW: "You thought THEY. WERE. excellent, you stupid motherfucker!"
WB: "I've no idea what you mean. I'm a footballing legend, whereas you stupidly got red carded against the Czechs in your only World Cup appearance in 1990. Who are you to correct me like this?"
EW: "I'm the voice of sanity, arsehole. Say it: THEY. WERE. Say it!" *PUNCH!* "POW!* *SMACK!* *CHOKE!"
WB: "Aaargh! Help, help, help me!"
EW: Say it, motherfucker! "THEY." WERE."
WB: "OK, OK, OK. THEY. WERE. excellent today. Happy now?"
EW: OK, but don't forget. If you make that mistake again, I'm going to cut your balls off."
WB (Wiping blood off his forehead, looking terrified): "Alright, alright, alright! I'll never make that mistake again, I swear!"
EW: "See that you don't. OK. Former Newcastle and England defender Warren Barton thinks Barcelona were excellent today. Back over to you in the studio, Rob".