Am I the only woman over 40 who wants to look her age?

[zanana1]

If you go by all the TV ads, magazine ads, etc., you'd think that it was immoral to look your age. I'm 62, I look it, and I like it.

[hedgehog]

1. I get a charge out of actors in their 40's and 50's playing grandmothers.

[orleans]

2. maybe you look great. i hate looking my age. (or, in my perception, looking older than

my age)

hate it hate it hate it!

[DFW]

3. My wife is 62 (so am I) and she has no problem with it.

Maybe I'm biased, but I think she still looks pretty f***ing good at 62:
[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

13 years ago, she stared cancer in the face, and told it to get lost. After a 10 month battle, it did.

[MicaelS]

10. Yes, your wife is still a beautiful woman.

And I really like her hair and eyes. Great color combination.

[DFW]

41. She blew me away when I first laid eyes on her, and that was 40 years ago.

My opinion hasn't changed any in all that time.

[ailsagirl]

43. That's really sweet

I like hearing such stories!

[DFW]

49. There aren't many setbacks.....

That life with her hasn't made up for.

In 1978, my immediate superior (still is!) told me to "marry that girl."
Always a wise man, I followed his advice. He was my best man at the
wedding, and two years later, I was his (he's still with her, too).

[ailsagirl]

62. You're a lucky man, DFW

[DFW]

85. I never forget that

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018643822

[Skittles]

38. you're looking darn good yourself, DFW

yes INDEED

[DFW]

42. Thanks! I don't always feel that way!

The miles do pile up after a while, though.

[ailsagirl]

44. I was going to say...

you both look great!!

[zanana1]

59. you both look great! nt

[valerief]

4. You mean you wouldn't want to look like this?

[Baitball Blogger]

7. She looks spunky.

[AngryOldDem]

14. Well, she''s had a lot of health issues.

Have to take that into account.

[valerief]

17. I remember her first facelifts. Plus, she's a raging Republican, meaning she could

give two shits about anyone else.

[AngryOldDem]

70. She's also had diabetes, and I think at one point she was almost blind.

With those issues, politics doesn't really figure into things, at least for me.

[valerief]

78. Lots of people have that and need help, but she doesn't care. She's Republican. nt

[kath]

21. GAH! Who IS that?

[Adsos Letter]

33. Mary Tyler Moore. n/t

[eShirl]

34. ..

?fit=crop&h=811&w=680

[Brigid]

29. Her plastic surgeon should be sued.

Yikes.

[ailsagirl]

46. Poor MTM-- but she's a brittle diabetic and has been since her adulthood

She was a knockout as Laura in the Dick Van Dyke Show, I remember



i am SHOCKED to learn she's a repuke!! Wow

[In_The_Wind]

5. I love the gray streaks in my hair.

40 is long gone for me.

[murielm99]

6. I am 66, and I suppose

I look my age. I have never had any plastic surgery. There are bags under my eyes, and laugh lines. My neck shows my age, as do my hands.

I work out, watch my diet, use makeup. I hide the gray streaks in my hair, but I may stop doing that. It is gray-blonde, and not a bad color at all.

I don't give much thought to doing anything drastic. Some of the results are horrible.

You probably look very nice.

Women fall into a terrible trap when we compare ourselves to others, whether they are our age or younger.

[zanana1]

57. Thanks for the compliment, but...

I don't look nice at all. I've had health issues for some time and it really shows on my face. But as along as the people I know still recognize me, I'm all set!

[surrealAmerican]

8. I have no problem with it.

I'm in my 50s, with a head full of gray hair that was once black.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

9. My solution to aging is good old H2O2.

Hate my gray hair. Don't have any wrinkles.

Of course when I bleach my hair, all the curl,body and life goes out of it.

[Runningdawg]

11. I'm 54

and really surprised I lived this long considering I am an adrenaline junkie. Classic style knows no age.
When in doubt, wear red. Bill Blass

[femmocrat]

12. I hate the way I look.

I just compare the way I look now to my younger self, not to models who have professional help.

I look old.

[seaglass]

50. I hear you. My daughter emailed me a pic she had taken of me 2 weeks ago at a wedding. When I

looked at the pic I thought, who the hell is that? I look in the mirror every day and that person in the pic is not the person I see. I have a little Scarlett O'Hara in me and just deleted the pic, I'll worry about it another day.

[femmocrat]

66. :rofl:

One time I was using the computer and the camera was on and this old woman appeared on my monitor! OMG.... I didn't recognize myself!

[sammytko]

52. Can you do anything about it?

Change hairstyle? Wardrobe? Makeup?

I let my hair go gray and I love it. Much better condition then when I colored it. Strangers stop and tell me how good it looks.

You are going to get old, but at least try to feel good about yourself. You won't look the same as you did when you were 20. Be happy for those young beautiful people. Be happy that you got to experience that and move on to your new phase in life.

[femmocrat]

68. You are so kind. I mean that.

But sooner or later we all have to throw in the towel. Genetics are to blame!

As the old joke goes, it's better than the alternative!

[AngryOldDem]

13. No.

Whenever I see all those commercials, I cringe. There is no such thing as eternal youth, although somehow the Boomers think they're the exception. (I'm 54 and look every bit of it.) Besides, all these "fixes" aren't permanent -- I have better things to do than go running to a doctor to get more botox injections.

[antiquie]

16. Which boomers are those?

Pardon my snark, but lumping those born between the years 1946 and 1964 together has gotten old, as has applying an attitude (think they're the exception) to all of us. Gee, you're a baby boomer, too!

I'm mid-sixities, tiny, wrinkled, gray and happy.

[AngryOldDem]

71. You're right.

I was just going off all the print and TV ads telling older women to get this and that procedure done; take this pill and that pill; etc.

Did not mean to offend.

[antiquie]

74. I'm overly sensitive, maybe due to those ads.

Trying to look younger will not turn me into a hot babe nor will it increase my value as a person.

[AngryOldDem]

79. My attitude is, I am who I am.

I do the best with what I have.

[BlueJazz]

15. I look pretty good for 33

[Kaleva]

36. It's the drugs, cigarettes, booze and wild sex that keeps you looking young!

[ailsagirl]

47. Yes... no one would ever guess you were 33...

not is a million years!!!!!

[hopemountain]

75. it's not the age

it's the mileage.

[livetohike]

18. I'm 62 and I earned the crow's feet and every laugh line on my face. I don't try to

hide any of it. Few gray hairs so far, but I won't mind it when it happens .

[nolabear]

19. I like BEING my age (59) and looking it is a part of it, so sure.

The best thing about being a woman of "a certain age" is that the line of people who can kiss my ass is reeeeeaaaallllllyyy long.

[Brigid]

30. I'm 56. Should I start my list now?

[JimDandy]

39. Ha! Love your attitude! n/t

[nolabear]

58. It's like an oyster forming a pearl. Slow process, lots of irritation.

And the end result is pretty satisfying!

[PasadenaTrudy]

20. I want to look my age..

I'm 50, just getting some grey. I'm an aging hippie; no make-up, no hair coloring. Long straight 1970s style hair still. I love not having to hassle with looking a certain age or way. Fuck that

[zanana1]

60. I love your attitude...

From one aging hippie to another.

[fizzgig]

22. part of me would like to not get carded for smokes or at the bars

i'm only 33 (yeah, a y oungun) and i still get carded more often than not. on the other hand, i feel no compulsion to look my age. most days at work i'm wearing jeans, some off-the-wall t-shirt (my employees love the bob ross shirt) and a pair of chuck taylors. my hoodie is a star trek next generation command uniform top and i wear a grover hat. my hair is buzzed down (no grey), i wear no makeup and my glasses have small rhinestones on them.


i stopped giving a shit about what society thought i should look like when i turned 30.

[bamademo]

23. I'm almost 62. Had cosmetic surgery and have my hair colored.

I look my age but good. I had a forehead lift 10 year ago. No wrinkles there.

[DamnYankeeInHouston]

24. I'm 59 and can't wait to turn 60.

I always considered 60 the start of old age. I'm going to have fun being a bat shit, crazy, cranky old lady.

[Jenoch]

25. What I find interesting is when I see

photos of people in the news and they look old and then I discover they are younger than me. That's not to say I have a youthfull appearance for my age, I guess it's more of a self-perception thing.

I recently got a haircut in which most of the gray was snipped away and I have been told I lost ten years. I suppose I'll keep my hair short. I should also get rid of the gray chin whiskers.

[Skittles]

26. you're a guy, right?

[Jenoch]

27. When I referenced seeing people in the news

that I thought were older than me, I was only referring to men. In additition the the haircut (I still have mostly a full head of hair) I have recently lost 30+ lbs., so maybe it's because my self-image has improved.

[Skittles]

35. I was just making a crack about the whiskers

[shenmue]

28. Good for you

[Adsos Letter]

31. My wife is 57

Certainly, she looks different than when she was 17 (when we started dating).

She still looks beautiful to me, but I know she doesn't like some aspects of getting older, including a few wrinkles and gray hairs.

[Le Taz Hot]

32. One of the nice things about growing old naturally

is that men don't ogle me anymore. I can't tell you what a relief that's been. Besides, I never believed that aging is a negative thing -- it's part of life and, hopefully, in all that time you've learned something.

[Kaleva]

37. I'm 55 and I feel that my best years are yet to come.

[raccoon]

51. I heartily second that emotion! nt

[HeiressofBickworth]

40. I never thought about it before, but

I now see looking my age as a positive thing: I ALWAYS get a seat on the bus! Some young thing (male or female) stands in order to give me a seat. I always thank them politely. They feel good about doing a good deed and I get the seat. Yup. This never happened when I was in my 50's!

[DFW]

45. The best one liner on aging--EVER--came from my grandfather at age 99

When he was 99 years old, he sent out a Christmas card with a photo of himself,
looking very much his age, encaptioned: "Compliments of the seasoned."

[ailsagirl]

48. Audrey Hepburn never had any cosmetic surgery

...and she was beautiful, inside and out. During her last years she worked tirelessly for UNICEF.
What a thoroughbred!!

[pitohui]

65. if you believe she didn't get cosmetic surgery

you don't have eyes in your head

in her generation it was expected to lie about getting it but i can see in the photo that she's had it

[ailsagirl]

73. News to me

[pitohui]

82. research a little

there are certain markers of age that are the same for everyone of a given race and if they have been altered it was done surgically

it is very cruel that women lied about this in the past & caused everyone who was actually natural to hate themselves

i think dolly parton was the first to step forward and be out & proud about cosmetic surgery but alas every woman before that was a liar & forced to be by their contract, their agent, etc

i don't blame her for lying but she quite clearly did lie, no thin white woman over 40 gets that result without botox/surgery

and in her case it does appear to be surgery because of the way the skin was pulled

[betsuni]

53. I will be 54 in 15 minutes.

My birthday is the 19th and that will happen soon where I live. Thanks to staying out of the sun like a vampire most of my life, trying to remain horizontal as much as possible because I seem to feel gravity more than usual, and being extremely immature, I look younger than I am. Whenever my mother-in-law is reminded of my age she bursts out laughing. Yet things are falling apart, like an old car. I run out of gas quickly, the bumper is falling off and has to be fixed with duct tape, the steering wheel is wobbly, the glove compartment won't open. I feel like an archeological site, a once thriving civilization covered in ash. Oh well, at least I'm not dead. But what is the deal with my eyelashes growing in odd directions? I can't wear mascara any more. My husband has to pluck out-of-control nose hairs, but weird eyelashes are more public, dammit.

[Coventina]

54. Just as women are shamed for being fat, they are also shamed for being old.

I try not to judge, because it sucks to be deemed worthless for being beyond child-bearing years.
It's another form of misogyny, and women fight it by trying to appear younger than they actually are.

But, at a certain point the face-lifts become a bit too obvious and effect becomes sad rather than increasing physical attractiveness.

[pipi_k]

55. Well, I wouldn't say

I want to look my age (62 in a couple more days), but it doesn't bother me that I have streaks of white in my hair.

In fact, what's there now naturally I used to pay for in the past...the frosting part I mean. Against my natural hair color it looks rather nice, and I like it.

Everything else, well...I'm overweight, so the face wrinkles don't show. Plus I never spent a whole lot of time in the sun, and I do get a lot of compliments on my complexion.

My body...eh. That's a whole 'nother story. I'm 62 but feel 82 with aches and pains and bad knees. What can ya do...

[alarimer]

56. I'm deeply upset by what is happening to me.

So much that I pretty sure that I never want to get as old as my grandparents did (90s) I'm also worried financially. I can't even afford co-payments to use my (pretty good) health insurance right now, so how will I be able to live when I retire?

I've always hated the way I look, now I can't bear to even look in the mirror. I avert my eyes even when I'm brushing my teeth.

[zanana1]

61. I'm so sorry you feel that way.

You need somebody to take you aside every day and say "You look great". You especially need to say it to yourself. Life is too short.

[alarimer]

72. I agree and I do have someone who says that.

The problem is that I can't quite convince myself to believe it.

But really, it's not so much how I look or feel (which is pretty good overall). It's that I am now the oldest person in my office. Even my boss is younger than me, by a couple of years. It's not like there is this huge gap; it's just kind of demoralizing to know that I haven't gotten further in life.

[pitohui]

67. you're not alone, i walk out of the bathroom whilst brushing my teeth

looking at my older relatives i see no advantage to out-living my eyesight and my mind, that's for sure

aging is a nightmare where you watch your body being transformed into a stranger's body that's always full of pain

it's awful, i hate it when people try to dismiss the pain and pretend it doesn't exist or if you took some bullshit vitamin your pain wouldn't exist, i'm just sick of the bullshit

aging is bad, women fear it because it's really actually bad not because they're stupid or weak

[frogmarch]

63. I don't.

But then I'm almost 71, so there ya go.

[pitohui]

64. there is no possible advantage to looking my age if i'm over 40

why would you like it? it's fucking terrible & i don't mind admitting it's terrible because it is, there's not one good thing to be said about it except you don't get harassed as much when walking the streets

the lack of harassment hardly makes up for the fact that once you're over 40 you will also not be considered for sex, for friendship, or even for 999 out of 1,000 jobs

it isn't immoral to look your age over 40 but it certainly takes you out of the running for a lot of good times

if you're barbara bush or equally wealthy, then i can see why it's OK to give up & look your age but if you're in the real world & want to continue eating and maybe get some affection once in awhile...there is just nothing good about looking your age

i am sorry this is true but it is true, and advertisers know it as well as we do, it isn't like it's some secret we can keep to protect our pride

[Arugula Latte]

69. I just want to look "good for my age."

You can do some things -- exercise, eat well, moisturize, etc. -- but a lot of it is just genetics, I think. Not fair.

[hopemountain]

76. 62 - too, zanana

have some gray and a 1 inch wide white streak at the top of my from a hornet sting several years ago. according to the rheumatologist my bones are those of an 80 year old farmer & more wrinkles than i care to own - mine. hundreds of miles backpacking and working in the sun have a price that i gladly paid. have definitely had a full catastrophe life - and do not regret one bit of it. glad to still be here. too many of my childhood and young adult friends and loves have already journeyed on and some day i will be among the stars in the heavens - but until then, i fully accept my looks and my body - they have been good to me.

[Reter]

77. Unless the person is 20 or less, who wouldn't want to look younger?

I know I try my best to look younger. Unfortunately my best isn't good enough.

[ariesgem]

80. I don't care to look younger

and I'll keep the wisdom that comes with the years. But at 51, I wouldn't mind getting that 20 something energy back.

[PasadenaTrudy]

81. No kidding

The energy, even half the energy. I remember staying up all night running around town. Not a chance now!

[pitohui]

83. trust me, you dont want the energy without the looking younger

some of us get that hormone surge and the energy is no problem

it's the problem that you are not welcome to do anything with energy such as hold a real job worthy of your efforts or get sexy with someone who can actually get it up

it's the fortunate ones who lose their appetites with their looks

[lunatica]

84. I'm 66 and look like everyone's grandma or mom

It's surprising but younger people - 40's and younger treat me with a great deal of respect. People come to me for answers and most find it wonderful that I have a sense of humor that makes them laugh and that I pepper my speech with colorful cuss words and occasionally I give the 'mom look' that invariably gets results.

Of course it helps a great deal that I love people of all ages and colors. I find younger people are getting smarter than ever, and certainly smarter (perhaps the word I want to use is they're getting more worldly). But then I work in UC Berkeley so the people around me are among the smartest and most engaged people in the world. Professors my age and older are venerated here and it rubs off on the staff also. I love my job and never want to retire.

[LynneSin]

86. I'm nearing 50 and honestly here's my two cents

I don't want to look 21 again but I sure as hell don't want to look 50.

I don't feel 50. I have eclectic tastes in music, trendy artisan beers and I skipped having children because it wasn't something I saw in my future. I don't want to shop at Forever 21 or Limited Express looking like I'm still 21 years old because that's just not my child but I don't want to dress 50 either. I like to think of my look and style as ageless. Yesterday I met my new neighbors and we talked music for about 30 minutes or so, nice kids probably just out of school in their mid-20s. They were shocked to hear I was almost 50. I mean I know I do not look in my 20s and don't act it, I think I can pass for 30s but I won't lie about my age. I just like to wear clothes that I like and fit well and do the fun things that I enjoy doing regardless if it's 'age appropriate'.