Need some good vibes, please.

[IdaBriggs]

I have somehow managed to talk my way into a challenging deadline:

November 15, 2014.

I have to have a reasonable paper summary of the "Preemie Growth Project" put together for review by a prestigious researcher by November 15, 2014.

If I do it in a way that makes LOGICAL SENSE, complete with my sources/references/data, we can talk about "next steps."

If I don't do a good job, the opportunity to present to this prestigious researcher and his colleagues will be (gulp) gone.

I know this stuff like the back of my hand. I have the data. I have even started putting it together.

I am NOT going to freak out. (I have now known about the deadline since last Friday. I have done NOTHING since then except warn my husband and a couple of close family members. I have some excellent excuses - I am very busy. Kid activities keep me running, plus full time job. And I super scrubbed my toilets, and did a bunch of errands I had been putting off.)

Urk. What was I thinking? Did I learn NOTHING from the epic "don't bully a department head into giving you an independent study in his field of specialization" debacle of 1996?

I am an idiot.

And I can do this, right?

[LiberalEsto]

1. Good vibrations to you!

Good, good, good,
good vibrations!

[IdaBriggs]

3. Thank you!

[In_The_Wind]

2. You've cleared your schedule of distractions. Now, get busy on what really matters.

Good vibes ~~~~~~~~~

[IdaBriggs]

4. I *love* your interpretation!

I wasn't really procrastinating - I was clearing my schedule of distractions.

That makes me feel like I am actually accomplishing something.

THANK YOU!!!

[In_The_Wind]

6. That's because I do the same darned thing.

You are very welcome.


I believe in you.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. November 15th? You can do it! You do have time.

You have started putting it together..........now, keep going.

YOU CAN DO IT.

Bunches of good vibes for you, my dear IdaBriggs!

[IdaBriggs]

7. Thank you, CaliforniaPeggy!

"I think I can, I think I can" keeps going through my head.

I am mulling over the approach. In the videos I spoke "as a mom" to other parents. It is a different audience. I am a little intimidated....but NOT enough to sit down and shut up, because I really believe this will dramatically reduce infant mortality and morbidity rates, and DEFINITELY needs more investigation.

I am determined. And STUBBORN.

And a little bit scared to death....

[bigwillq]

8. You can do it!

Sending out my best vibes!

[IdaBriggs]

17. Thank you!!!

[rurallib]

9. full steam ahead and good luck

[IdaBriggs]

18. Thank you!!!

[redwitch]

10. With one hand tied behind your back!

But you have to get started....

[IdaBriggs]

19. Truth!

I can procrastinate forever -- the deadline is a GOOD thing.

Where is the OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I AGREED TO smiley?

[Jenoch]

11. I have to say,

Your writing for this paper due on November 15th needs to be much better than the writing you have done on this thread. Your OP is almost incoherent.

[irisblue]

12. Jenoch, did you really want to be mean and nasty to a DUer asking for support?

You do not want to be supportive, fine, but being mean is not needed, don't reply to posts that fail your standards.

[vanlassie]

15. Agree +1000000. Sheesh.

[IdaBriggs]

23. Well, your version of support and good vibes is a unique one.

I decided to run my original post through the "Microsoft Word" readability test.

I had typed 216 words, in 18 sentences in 10 paragraphs.

I had ZERO "passive sentences."

The "Flesch Reading Ease" score was 69.2 and the "Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level" was 6.4 which means it really should not have been incoherent to anyone who can read at a minimum sixth grade level.

Now, to be fair, this is the "Microsoft Word" readability thing-y, so those results need to be taken with an appropriate grain (bucket?) of salt. And the paper I am working on is going to have to be written in a manner that acknowledges the education level of my intended audience (which is part of what has me in a dither - am I writing for the parents, or the professionals?) so I will be doing my best NOT to be incoherent and to organize my information in a reasonable way.

So, I have to wonder about the purpose of your criticism. Was it intended to truly warn me that my writing style causes my intended audience to question the validity of my information? Or was it simply meant as a passing act of random, internet insult? Or (and this is me being optimistic) are you in real life someone who can help write the type of paper I am working on who cares about this particular cause, and wants to help?

If your comment is truly intended as a positive one (even if it contains a pretty cold insult of "incoherent writing&quot , I thank you for it. If it is just a "having a bad mood/thought I would share/did not mean to be insulting" moment, peace between us.

But if you were trying to be a jerk for the joy of being a jerk, then I still thank you, because even if people are mean to me (and some will be), I still have to do this, and your comment has reinforced that even someone being "mean to me on the internet" is not a good reason to screw up this opportunity.

Even if I want to hide under the bed because I am freaked out about it.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

13. Remember:

[IdaBriggs]

20. Thank you - that is an awesome graphic!

[appalachiablue]

14. You can do it, house in order and plenty of time.

Already know the stuff, do the best you can and all will be well.
Never let the Perfect be the Enemy of the Good
(from a sometime procrastinator!)
All the best and great vibes! How relieved you'll be when it's done.

(Disregard the crank's irrelevant criticism of your writing, geeze).

[IdaBriggs]

21. Thank you!

(I am trying to focus on the positive folks, while I come up with a reasonable response to that poster.)

And your comments about "perfectionism" really fit into my "procrastination" problems!

[appalachiablue]

24. All the best, believe in yourself, you can do it! Courage, calm, confidence, strength!

I sense pressure over big projects too, ugh. Saw that great comment about the *good, perfect a couple yrs. ago. Wow, wished I'd known decades ago to save much grief.

A great friend from grad. school and I later discovered we did the same distracted routine, cleaning closets, doing laundry, anything!, almost unconsciously, just before starting our huge final papers that were due. (fear, dread, insecurity, scary older profs.). Some kind of self-protecting ritual & common I'm sure. Now we can chuckle cuz we survived, but not back then, all so serious.

All will be well; let us know when you are through it if you like. Hugs! Many good vibes. Take care.

Poster made another odd, blunt remark recently, no worry.
P.S. Strange as it sounds, sometimes for me a determination, touch of anger or smthg. finally kicks in, esp. after much fretting. Dangit! I've gotta start, not the end of the world.

[vanlassie]

16. Ida, we have unspoken mind talk that "tries" to protect us

from pain and discomfort. What us your worst case fear? Say it and then get that it is just unhelpful and likely untrue.

And so what if something bad could happen. If you do this, something GOOD might happen! Which do you choose??

[IdaBriggs]

22. My biggest fear is that I will not be listened to because I screw up the explanation/presentation.

My hypothesis - that certain forms of cerebral palsy and neuromuscular issues, including sensory processing disorders, are caused by CORRECTABLE micronutrient deficiency issues which means we can decrease mortality and morbidity rates with minimal intervention in easily identifiable high risk populations - is a new way of looking at a very old problem. After years of working on this (and a whole bunch of "good heavens - EUREKA!" moments), it all makes total sense to me, but because the human data is self-selected individual case studies, my background does not include medical training, and investigation into veterinary/animal husbandry issues validates what I am proposing, there is a near knee-jerk reaction of "well, if it is THAT simple, why didn't someone else figure it out?"

Which is where I have to explain how I was able to put the pieces together, and show them where they missed the forest for the trees while not offending them because I did not spend a decade studying medicine and make my living playing with computers.

And as a computer professional, I couldn't ever get to 100% - the best I ever got was having 4 out of 5 children see improvement, (and only 74% of my long term failure-to-thrive children left that category within 90 days, and I have no idea why the other 26% did not!), which means a) I am still missing pieces of data because I could not get to 100%; b) 40 children saw ZERO improvement which breaks my heart at a level I can't even explain; and c) while I feel like a failure, the medical community thinks I am cooking the numbers because the level of improvement is too high.

And I *know* that in some cases it is a combination of factors, and it is like untangling the Gordian Knot to get the children better, but this is SUPER IMPORTANT, yet until it gets STRICT INVESTIGATION there are going to be parents who don't correct their children's deficiencies because their pediatricians are Super Conservative (as they should be), which means ....

I think I may just throw up. No pressure here....

[vanlassie]

25. Right. You are afraid you won't be taken seriously.

And you believe the fate of many children rests on your shoulders right now. This pressure you are putting on yourself makes you feel ill.

It us not really about YOU though, is it? It is about the data. The hypothesis. The work you can show so far.

If what you believe is true can be demonstrated with facts, others will want on board. If not, it's too soon to go "public" yet. Are you prepared? Take YOU out if the equation and explain what you think is true, and why.

[Hoyt]

26. Getting hyped up and getting your thoughts in order are part of the process.

If you still have done nothing by this time next week, you'll still have plenty of time. At least that's what I've always told myself.

Good luck.