Simpsons fans: What are your top 10 favorite episodes?
Here's mine in no particular order, with quotes:
- The Cartridge Family (season 9)
"What started as a traditional soccer riot has since escalated into a city-wide orgy of destruction. Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby declared mob rule, meaning for the next several years it's every family for themselves."
- The Joy Of Sect (season 9)
"This strange and almost certainly evil sect, the Movementarians, is nothing more than a pack of rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say The Lord's Prayer 40 times but first let's pass the collection plate!"
- Marge On The Lam (season 5)
"At the risk of editorializing, these women are guilty and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise their behavior will incite others leading to anarchy of Biblical proportions. It's in Revelations, people!!!!!"
- Treehouse Of Horror IV (Season 5)
"Oh Lisa you and your stories. Bart is a vampire. Beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that building thingy where our beds and TV is."
- Homer Simpson Vs. The 18th Amendment (Season 8)
"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!"
- Homer: Bad Man (Season 6)
"Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on [splice] her sweet [splice] can. [splice] -- so I grab her -- [splice] sweet can. [splice] Oh, just thinking about [splice] her [splice] can [splice] I just wish I had he -- [splice] sweet [splice] sweet [splice] s-s-sweet [splice] can."
- Bart Sells His Soul (season 7)
"And now it's time to recite our new hymn "In The Garden Of Eden" by I. Ron Butterfly!"
- King Size Homer (season 7)
Lisa: Mom, are you going to step in and put a stop to this?
Marge: Lisa, normally your father's hair brained schemes fizzle out once he finds something good on TV. But this season... 
- Cape Feare (season 5)
Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am but I'm pretty sure there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: I'm pretty sure there is.
Wiggum: Ha! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle...
Lou: She's right chief.
Wiggum: Shut my mouth, it's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
- Homer The Vigilante (season 5)
Jimbo: Hey man you let me down! I don't believe in nothing no more! I'm going to law school!
Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
= new reply since forum marked as read
... and a hijack. 
Once a Simpsons fan, I'm now a Family Guy fan and too old to remember my favorite Simpsons episodes. (Please forgive my poor hijacking manners and accept this k+r as a peace offering.)
I would like to share with you, one of my favorite Family Guy episodes... the Fat Guy Strangler episode. Here's my favorite scene about Lois's brother's girlfriend, Marian (who, just happens to be invisible because Patrick is schizophrenic):
Stewie: Hey, Brian. Marian just called you an alcoholic.
Brian: Oh, yeah? Marian just called you a homo.
Stewie: Wait a second. I'll be right back. (leaves, then returns with a cucumber) Hey, Brian, Brian. What if I put this cucumber right here? Put the cucumber right there. (puts the cucumber on the couch approximately where Marian might be sitting) Do you think Patrick would be angry? (both laugh)
Brian: I don't know, man. It's his wife.
Stewie: You don't think he'd be ticked off if I put this... Just put that right there? Just right in that spot, right there on the couch?
Brian: (laughing) Hey, Marian's giving you a thumb's up. (laughs)
Stewie: You know what we should do? We should let it sit here for a couple of weeks and see if it pickles.
(both laugh)
Stewie: If after three weeks, it pickles, then she's real, and we both have to buy Patrick a steak.
(both laugh, harder)
________
Actually, my favorite Family Guy episode is 'Brian's Got a Brand New Bag;' about Brian's 50 y.o. girlfriend, Rita...
Here's some of the script:
Brian: The only reason I haven't brought her around is that you guys don't always make the best impression with girls I date. Especially Peter.
(Cutaway to the living room, with Peter, Brian, and a real-life, life-sized version of the girl on the Ladies Bathroom door)
Peter: Hey aren't you that chick from the bathroom door?
Brian: C'mon, Peter she doesn't wanna talk about work.
Peter: What's it like in there?
Ladies Bathroom Girl: I uh-assume its like how it is in the Men's room.
Peter: Oh, there's a long trough with a big poo in it?
(Brian is sitting on the dining room table, drinking coffee and reading the paper, when Stewie walks in and sits on the chair beside him)
Stewie: Hey its 4:30. Isn't there an early bird special you should be running off to?
Brian: She's 50, Stewie she's not an old woman (His phone rings and he takes it out and answers it) Hello?...Hey Rita...(His smile turns to a frown and he talks with a hushed voice)...uh, no I'm not hungry yet...well, if we get there by 5:30 I'm sure they'll honor it...
Stewie: Brian, is she calling dinner, supper?
Brian: (Still on the phone) So, uh - what're ya doing this afternoon?
Stewie: (Imitating an elderly woman's voice) Oh I'm just sorting out my pills for the week, sweetie.
Brian: (Still on the phone) Well you do that, and I'll be over a little later (He hangs up the phone)
Stewie: (Condescending noise) Did I get it? Was she sorting out her pills for the week? That little plastic thing with the 7 boxes? (Excited noise)
Brian: Actually, she just got back from the gym and she's jumping in the shower.
Stewie: ...she got a chair in that shower?
Brian: Shut up! (He leaves)
Stewie: (Calling out to Brian) Have archaeologists ever discovered Ancient Egyptian pottery in her vagina... you know what, uh...that one was too wordy. That one was too wordy... that... that was... that was flawed from the ground up, it wasn't funny, and we'll work on it...and get back to you.
<snip>
(Brian is tending to a bedridden Rita, when he looks at the pillow beside her which has Peter's facial features on it, recalling Peter's earlier offer of smothering her with a pillow to kill her)
Peter as a Pillow: Do it Brian. Do it. (Giggles) It's me as a pillow.
(Rita is lying in bed, and in the process of breaking up with Brian)
Rita: I'm sorry Brian, but you screwed up. Now please go.
Brian: But Rita...
Rita: Go! You can leave my apartment key on the davenport.
(Brian walks away and holds the key out in front of her dressing table)
Brian: Here?
Rita: No, the davenport- the chesterfield.
(Brian walks towards the ottoman and holds the key in front of it)
Brian: On this?
Rita: No- does that look like a divan to you?
(Brian slowly walks to the windowsill and places the keys on it, still holding on to it)
Brian: Here?
Rita: (Exasperated sigh) Leave 'em on the chifferobe.
Brian: You know what- (He chucks the keys on the bed) just take your fucking keys, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
TYY
Peter and Homer giving the strip tease car wash while Wiggum and the Springfield PD crew kick back and watch - I seriously thought I was going to die laughing. And all the talk at the beginning between Brian and Lois about how low brow crossover episodes are - 
"High voltage??? Why I don't need gloves, because I'm Homer Sim-----...."
"That's good because I got a hot date tonight. "
*buzz*
"A date. "
*buzz*
"Dinner with friends. "
*buzz*
"Dinner alone. "
*buzz*
"Watching TV alone. "
*buzz*
"All right!!! I'm gonna sit at home and oogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog
"
*buzz*
"Sears catalog. "
*ding*
"Now will you take this thing off? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! "
*buzz*