finding out who your real friends are.

[mopinko]

been doing a lot of this during this truly tough year.
nothing like a little trouble in your life to have the fair weather folks peel off.

anybody got an inspirational story to convince me this thing has a silver lining?

[irisblue]

1. I lost a couple of jerk friends this year

not being judged all the time by them is a silver lining....sorta..... This last year has sucked for me too.

[mopinko]

3. well, i def feel that way about the stbex.

not crying about that one AT ALL.
now i have to laugh at myself when that little internalized voice pipes up. nope, dont have to worry about what he thinks.

[NYC_SKP]

2. I think you revealed a silver lining in your OP.

You've lost some baggage, "friends" like that, you don't need.

[mopinko]

4. trouble is i do need them.

up to my ass in alligators because they werent there for me.
got a lot to lose here.
there were there, until they werent. then the shit hit the fan.

[shenmue]

5. There are kittehs

Here is a sleeping cat.

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[mopinko]

7. yeah, at least i have my dogs.

and birds.
chickens are great pets. and since they give me eggs, they are a lot more useful than a lot of people.

[UglyGreed]

9. Yes pets are

awesome. I have had many types of pets in my life but my doves were special to me. I had to help many of them raise their babies. It was a great feeling to see them become adults after a rough start. I had to give them away as my health got worse but I enjoyed the time I had with them.

[mopinko]

10. i was surprised by how much i like my chickens.

they are far more cuddly than the parrot. even tho i know it is all about who feeds them, they are more grateful for that than the kids!

[UglyGreed]

12. And they give

you something back, mmmm nice fresh eggs. I envy you.

[mopinko]

14. plus the manure.

they compost up copious amounts of shredded paper into beautiful soil.

yeah, chickens are da bomb.

[shenmue]

11. {{{Hugs}}}

[mopinko]

13. thanks

glad there are still a few here who are there to pick me up.

[MrMickeysMom]

6. Here's my philosophy...

You run into situations (people) and after brief, or even decades of time, they leave you thinking, "why did I even bother with them?", or "how destructive was this for me?"

Only in retrospect do I realize that I needed to have such experiences, and those people entered my life, usually to make me stronger (at least mentally) and more sure of myself.

I returned to a class reunion and was able to forgive some person for having been part of an early time in my life that had physical repercussions. It relieved me of that past shadow. I am over it, and there is one less doubt about myself, and that IS powerful.

I think you WILL draw more positive strength in yourself from having experienced what you might have this last year. That WILL draw more positive relationships that are lasting and more mature.

[mopinko]

8. i do tell myself that what doesnt kill me makes me stronger, but

i also battle falling into cynicism. this is pushing me that way.
but hopeful is a kind of stupid that i am stuck with, i think.

[hunter]

15. My mom says that, "what doesnt kill me makes me stronger."

But I don't believe.

She and my dad fled the crap that was making her "stronger" for a house in the rain forest where they drink and bathe in water that falls on their roof, entirely invisible.

I live in a place of semi-anarchy. The police and building inspectors are spread so thin they can't be troubled by the small shit.

[mopinko]

16. honestly, i am with you.

tho i admit to some fondness for cronehood.
i tell people you dont get to be 60 without weathering some shit. you never know what an old crone had to learn along the way.

i confess to daydreams of costa rica.
i could retire on my alimony, drink umbra drinks all day and have monkeys bring me mangoes. and a du'er for a neighbor.

it is closing in on fuck this shit o'clock.
ticking ticking

[Lady Freedom Returns]

17. Well what about me?

Tornado took all I knew.

Me and my... going to be nice here... Significant Other, went to hell and back.

Finally got to Tucson thanks to a group called Moccasin Outreach.

Things were, I thought, going o.k.

He decided he could do better I guess, I ended up in hell again with nothing.

Thanks to some friends here on DU and Wishadoo helping me and keeping me from giving up, I am now employed, have my own apartment and HAPPY!

[Wounded Bear]

18. As the old saying goes: A friend in need...

is a pain in the ass.

Anybody who thinks like that, though, is unworthy of your friendship.

The hard part is that after a situation like that goes down you have to learn to trust people again. Learning to trust the right people is not as easy as it sounds.