Movies so bad, they're good!

[chrisa]

Noah (2012) - Serving as further proof why throwing money at a movie doesn't work, Noah (2012) takes a straight forward story like Noah's Ark and turns it into an incomprehensible mess. Noah was not visually appealing or at all interesting, no, it was actually unintentionally hilarious.

I was dying when Crowe was ready to stab his own grandchild, not because the subject matter was funny, but because the acting and situation were corny beyond belief. Other scenes include Super Nintendo-quality giant CGI boulder people who are actually angels, Noah's arch-nemesis who dies in the most cliche way possible, and an unintentionally side-splitting disaster sequence of people being washed away by the flood's waves.

Grab a bowl of popcorn and prepare for a gem. This movie is brilliant in how terrible it is.

Rampage (2009) - We all know that Uwe Boll's movies are terrible, but this one at least provides many cheap laughs. Not much to say about this one, except that it involves a guy in his young 20's blowing up a police station, and then walking about town blowing people away with infinite ammo akimbo machine guns.

There is no plot with this one. The whole crime spree is preposterous. As bad as this film was, it was a blast to watch. It brings all of the action cheese and campiness not seen since 80's murder flicks. If you liked cinematic crap like "Silent Night, Deadly Night 2," this is your kind of film.


What are some others?

[orleans]

1. maybe i'll check out noah -- i could always use a laugh

as for the other one, i'm not a fan of violent crap so i'll take a pass on that one.

on edit: my library has over 10 copies of this noah movie! and the lending system has nearly 150 copies. most of them are checked out.

i guess a lot of people want a good laugh.

(lol.

[Xyzse]

2. Trying to think:

Probably anything by Steven Seagal. Barely watchable, but unintentionally funny more often than not.

[Populist_Prole]

3. The Jerky Boys Movie

One of my guilty pleasures.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

4. Battlefield Earth, anyone? nt

[LynneSin]

6. Sorry that was just down right awful. I think I lasted 10 minutes and I had to turn it off

I haven't been able to try it again.

[sharp_stick]

9. I was in grad school when that came out

and took an afternoon off to see it in the theater simply because it was supposed to suck, really really suck, and because I enjoyed the book when I was a teenager. Nobody wanted to come with me, keep that in mind.

In grad school it's easy to get someone with you to take bottles back for the deposit because it gets you out of the lab for a while, nobody wanted to go see this movie with me.

Anyway, I show up for the matinee in the middle of the afternoon, get my ticket. When I hand it to the guy on the way in to the theaters I mention that I heard it's one of the worst movies ever made, he smiled and said "Then I don't think you'll be disappointed."

The theater wasn't one of the biggest ones but it was a good size, held a few hundred people. I was the only one in there from beginning to end. I sat through that entire stinker right to the end of the credits, after about 20 minutes it became a battle of wills me versus John Travolta and his cult. About an hour and a half into it the ticket taker sticks his head in and looks up to see me still in the center of the big empty room.

When it ended he said. I looked in because I wouldn't believe you'd still be sitting there unless you were unconscious. Congratulations on making it through.

I've never watched it again, I don't think my sanity could take it.

[First Speaker]

18. Thanks for a good laugh--

--it's such a crappy day, any laughs are appreciated..."a battle of wills me versus John Travolta"...now there's an image I'll take with me to bed tonight. Actually, I kind of like the book, too...Hubbard was an able pulp writer. Hmmm...do you realize that if it wasn't for *Pulp Fiction*, there almost certainly wouldn't have been a *Battlefield Earth*? Now there's an interesting question in aesthetics--was one worth the other...?

[sharp_stick]

19. Good

I'm glad I could bring a smile. Especially if your day was otherwise crappy. I hope tomorrow is better.

[UglyGreed]

5. Enemy Mine

You ugly head..........

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089092/
Enemy Mine (1985)

108 min - Action | Adventure | Drama - 20 December 1985 (USA)
6.9

Your rating:
-/10

Ratings: 6.9/10 from 29,743 users
Reviews: 112 user | 53 critic



A soldier from Earth crash-lands on an alien world after sustaining battle damage. Eventually he encounters another survivor, but from the enemy species he was fighting; they band together ... See full summary »



Director:
Wolfgang Petersen

Writers:
Barry Longyear (story), Edward Khmara (screenplay)

Stars:
Dennis Quaid, Louis Gossett Jr., Brion James

[LynneSin]

7. Best two - "Showgirls" and "Roadhouse Blues"

Those movies are just downright awful but if I would see them on cable TV (back when I had it) I would just have to watch it. Such awful overacting, such preposterious plots, such wretched writing but so over the top campy you had to watch it.

I always thought there was an 'Alien vs. Predator' type movie you could make out of it where it was a "Showgirls Roadhouse Blues" where Dalton takes over a failing Las Vegas Strip Club run by former Showgirl Nomi Malone.

I think I'd have box office gold with a movie like that

[CrawlingChaos]

14. Nothing really prepares you for the pool scene in "Showgirls"

I finally watched "Showgirls" a few months ago. I had heard about the pool scene but the real thing was so much more jaw-droppingly spastic than my imagination could grasp.

My other catty comment about the film: that actress from behind, um... NOT a dancer. The dance numbers themselves were hilarious though!

Road House is known to me only through MST3K. It was a rich source of joke material for them. I'll have to watch the actual movie sometime. I do love camp!

[dawg]

8. Troll 2 is the greatest bad movie of all time.

It even beats The Room.

[chrisa]

11. I have to agree. Troll 2 is gold.

If you liked the Troll movies, I would also recommend the Leprechaun movies, especially "Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood." If the name didn't give it away, this movie is so corny and stupid that it's entertaining to watch. This is one of those movies that the director and writers knew would be abysmal, so it's more of a comedy than a horror flick.

[NightWatcher]

10. Iron Eagle

Growing up it was always on HBO. It's completely implausible and predictable, but I've seen it a few dozen times probably.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

12. One of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

13. The film co-written by Paris Hilton ... The Hillz

It's about some rich, bored, stoned Beverly Hills spoiled kids who form a ruthless gang. That already tips you off that this is a film best viewed while completely high. If you take the film seriously it makes absolutely no sense. But if you look at nearly every scene as an impossibly incongruous and unreal fantasy, it works very well as a laugh-out-loud comedy. I was warned and nearly thrown our of the theater for laughing uproariously all the way through. Some of the scenes of gratuitous killings by Beverly Hills gang members are so off the wall, with the killers acting so nonchalant about it that you can't keep a straight face. Paris Hilton pretty much plays herself as a Beverly Hills airhead skank.

Everyone in this film was stoned and got further and further stoned as things progressed. The fact that people were shooting each other in the face in broad daylight on the streets of Beverly Hills or at parties and murdering at the slightest whim and then acting as though nothing had happened was wildly funny. The scenes where a groupie of the Beverly Hills gang sleeps with one of them to try to get him to murder her rival cheerleader in high school (with her mother's complete approval) is so over the top funny that you cannot take this seriously and makes me think this ultra low budget film (budget of $34K) co-written by Paris Hilton is secretly an intentional comedy. The film SEEMED to take itself seriously but if it was a very well-disguised comedy it would be absolute comedic genius.


ttps://

[hibbing]

15. Roadhouse

Surprised it hasn't been mentioned yet.

Peace

[First Speaker]

16. Inchon...

...Laurence Olivier, doing a MacArthur imitation that looks like nothing so much as Kate Hepburn in drag, doing an imitation of Olivier impersonating MacArthur. The rest of the movie is terrible, as well...a real stinker. A few others--Monsignor, Starship Troopers--I love Heinlein, but he doesn't translate well to the screen--and maybe my favorite "so bad it's good" film, The Fountainhead...Gary Cooper with a whip in his hand is beyond good and evil...

[Archae]

24. The funniest part about "Inchon," is that it was created and financed by the Moonies.

[LeftInTX]

17. Disco Godfather

[Tom Ripley]

20. Mandingo, Caligula, Valley of the Dolls, Imitation of Life

[Art_from_Ark]

22. I remember when Valley of the Dolls was considered "scandalous"

[Ron Obvious]

21. Hawk the Slayer

Dreadful sword & sorcery thing from the late seventies with Jack Palance chewing the scenery, an unshaven elf, a giant that's all of 6'2" and a funky, disco soundtrack that is a guilty pleasure of mine. I watched it several times on Showtime.

It also starred the recently departed Warren Clarke I just realised. RIP Warren.

[clarice]

23. The quick and the Dead. nt

[Archae]

25. Battle Beyond the Stars...

AKA John-Boy gets spaced out.

Roger Corman takes the plot from "The Magnificent Seven," puts it in space, and a whole bunch of good actors have a ball hamming it up.

[SomethingFishy]

26. I have a classic for ya.. Dead Heat... 80's buddy cop movie

starring Joe Piscopoe and Treat Williams(who is actually a good actor)

15 minutes into the movie Treat Williams is killed and brought back to life with a machine the bad guy is using to make Zombie Criminals. Then it's a standard Buddy Cop movie only one of them is dead.

You have to see it to believe it.

[LanternWaste]

27. Def-Con 4 (1985)

"Two months after the exchange of nuclear weapons on earth the spacecraft's guidance system is mysteriously reprogrammed, forcing the crew's return to earth. In order to survive, the crew must escape to the radiation free zones while avoiding cannibal 'terminals' and a military school student turned evil despotic ruler."

Caught it on a Sunday afternoon super-station a few years back and couldn't turn my eyes away from its horrible-ness.