Most demanding 1st birthday invite ever

[Capt. Obvious]

[blogslut]

1. That poor child.

SMH

[Jenoch]

2. ...

I wonder how long letters to Santa were for that parent? (I'm guessing Mom.)

[Tom_Foolery]

3. It took less planning to land on the moon...

[NV Whino]

4. I can see the logic behind this, but wow.

Maybe they should just ask for gift certificates. Then they can spend it on the $80 a week formula.

Seriously? $80 a week for formula? Not a child producer here, so maybe that is not unreasonable, but it seems a little outlandish to me.

[blogslut]

7. These days a 23oz can costs upwards of $25.00

My baby went through about a can a week. That was almost 30 years ago when I could get a big can of powdered formula for less than ten bucks. It's possible these parents buy the liquid kind which is priced even more insanely.

About ten years back I saw can of powdered formula going for $16.00 and I literally cried. Not every mother can do the breast.

[Trillo]

33. Homemade Infant Formula

https://www.google.com/search?&q=homemade+infant+formula

[dr.strangelove]

10. ten years ago, we paid $25 for a can

We used about 2 cans per week, so it was $50+ a week. Depending on the type of formula and the age of the kids, it could easily be $80 per week today. just guessing because I have no idea of the current price. I know some specialty formulas are more expensive and only coem int eh liquid form, which is higher priced.

[LynneSin]

14. based on that email I'm assuming the parents are probably using some high-end organic vegan formula

Probably first time parents who are going off the deep end with the first kid.

Second kid will get a cake from their local Shop-rite with the best gifts found from the local wal-mart.

[dr.strangelove]

17. maybe not

my sister's kid sadly had some health issues and had to get a special formula which was not not yet available in powdered form. Nursing was not even an option. It was $40 per day for a large bottle the formula (which made 6 bottles). Her health insurance covered the costs and she only pays 10% of it, otherwise she would be totally in debt for this. $80 a week could be for a kid with a dairy allergy or something like that. Some of these formulas are expensive. I feel badly for the cost of formula for parents. If you can do it, I have friends who choose to nurse with the cost savings a big factor for the decision. Sadly, its not always an option.

[surrealAmerican]

12. The child might have allergies or some other health issue ...

... that limits their choices.

[Telcontar]

16. My daughter needs special formula

She's six months, but only in the 5% bracket for weight. Have been trying different formulas with consult from pediatrician and finally found one she doesn't throw up. Some soy-based hypoallergenic something something mumbo jumbo. Costs us $56 a can.

I can sympathize with the cost of formula.

[susanr516]

29. My youngest had problems digesting protein as an infant

Even breast milk caused intestinal bleeding. We had to use Nutramigen, which now costs almost $40 for a can of powdered formula. By the time he was 9 months old, we were spending about $40 per week on formula--and that was at $16 a can.

[kentauros]

5. Hopefully, they have at least one "weird uncle"

that doesn't play by the rules

[mulsh]

8. I'd be that weird uncle & I'd send them a letter thanking them for

the thorough explanation of gifts needed and by providing this excusing me from buying little *** any gifts going forward since he's obviously got other relations providing them. A little later I'd start sending the kid little plastic 100 piece farm & Noah's Ark sets and of course lots and lots of Legos.

Weird uncle helpful hint: savvy parents will hide the above sets and legos fairly quickly, normally early on a weekend morning after they've stepped on a piece or two. When this happens do not despair. Find and send the kid a set of metal jax and a ball. Many parents have fond memories of playing jax and will gleefully show their kid how to do it.

[DebJ]

9. You forgot to mention playdoh. Real fun on carpeted floors. n/t

[kentauros]

11. Weird Uncle Supply Store:

Archie McPhee

[Laffy Kat]

34. Love the "handerpants"!

[kentauros]

35. Just the thing to wear

when getting cash for the kids out of your underpants wallet

[3catwoman3]

37. I like the crazy cat lady action figure.

We have 5, so I'm not quite there yet.

[justamama83]

15. I'd have to go with something a bit more disruptive

you know- like a drum set or keyboard.

[kentauros]

26. How about

an espresso-formula maker?

And a drum.

[Paper Roses]

6. Wow, this is tacky! Emily Post would shudder in her grave. n/t

[LynneSin]

13. If I had to go to the party the gift would be a card with $20 in it

If the instructions are that complicated the kid is getting cash. I don't mind if there was a simple registry somewhere to ensure the kid was not getting duplicates but that is just WHACK.

BTW I stress the word IF. I might just send the card and skip the party if the parents are being that anal retentive over organizing something the child probably won't remember. The kid is one years old. Give him/her a cake and watch baby have fun with his/her first sugar high. That's a party right there. All this craziness isn't for the kid but for the parents because you know the kid isn't going to remember what kid of asshole douchebags the parents were like on his/her first birthday.

[Telcontar]

18. Parents must be lawyers

[Capt. Obvious]

19. Cordial invitation to Little Timmy's birthday party

WHEREAS the named parties (hereinafter referred to as "the Invitees&quot are hereby ordered to appear at the son Timothy's (hereinafter referred to as "the Baby&quot party (hereinafter referred to as "the Event&quot , accompanied by any dependents ("the Dependents&quot of suitable age, at 12:43:00 CDT at the aforementioned address.
Invitees are expected to make all reasonable efforts to arrive at the time stated. Failure to comply with the stated time may result in forfeiture of other contractual rights herein contained.
Each party of Invitees shall bring with them on their person a minimum of 1 (one) gift ("the Gift/s&quot , suitably wrapped, selected with strict reference to the explicit instructions given in Appendix II (despatched by e-mail at 17:09:22 CDT on 12th April 2015). Said Gift/s shall be rendered immediately to the possession of the Baby's parents ("the Parents&quot acting in parentis to the Baby per the custom and federal statutes pertaining to Parental Responsibility.
Any property thus imparted by receipt of said Gift is thus the absolute possession of the Parents, who will render the Gift or a monetary value thus recuperated from the property in the best interests of family and Baby. Invitees must therefore provide invoices and receipts to facilitate the recuperation of monetary value from the originating retailer.
Dependents of Invitees are at all times expected to behave with the decorum fitting such an occasion. Any unreasonable behaviour of said Dependents including, but not limited to, spitting up, gurgling, crying, soiling of diapers, throwing of comestibles and/or beverages shall result in immediate forfeiture of this contractual agreement.
A parking fee may be applied at the discretion of the Parents.
Any deviation from the terms of the contract heretofore stated shall render the terms null and void. The Invitees will thus be ineligible for receipt of relevant soda, Jell-O, cake, balloons, nor further invitations to subsequent Events.
I agree to the Terms and Conditions thus stated:
Signed _____________________________ Date _________

Source

[Telcontar]

24. Just so you know, Im using this as invites for my daughters 1st bday

That was inspiring!

[elleng]

21. No, WE're lawyers,

and would NEVER have sent such an invitation. The parents at issue here have PROBLEMS!

[elleng]

20. DAMN!

'At this point he HATES it when we try reading to him!'

POOR KID!

[Capt. Obvious]

22. A kidnapping may actually help him.

[elleng]

23. Something like that!

My 2 grandsons, just under 1 year and just over 1 year, ASK their parents (my daughters + sons in law) to read to them, thank goodness!!!

[OrwellwasRight]

28. LMAO!

[alphafemale]

39. I can only imagine their dearth of engaging reading skills.

Or their choice of reading material.

[Enrique]

25. email is inappropriate for this

i think a series of conference calls is in order.

[avebury]

27. Oh my!

I think that I would just send a card with some cash and skip the party. That is just too much drama.

[3catwoman3]

30. Control...

freaks, much? Materialistic, much? Sheesh! That is disgusting.

[NJCher]

31. if...

This appeared on social media somewhere, said parent now realizes she is the laughingstock of the world.



Cher

[azurnoir]

32. Back in the day I had a favorite gift for this sort encouraged the little tykes creativity

fisher-price marching band set

[jmowreader]

36. What Junior over there needs most is a pound of weed for his mommy

I can imagine his Second Birthday gift demand list: "We are asking that you bring Black Square an empty box, the larger the better."