The Here and Now

[Tobin S.]

It seems like my mind has been preoccupied with worry for the past five years. Much of it has had to do with money. I'm not worried about hoarding it. I just want to have enough of it to pay our bills and put something back for retirement. I'm just trying to get by, not get rich. I just want to keep what I have, not add to it. It doesn't seem like that should be all that hard to do in this country. But it's been a real struggle these past five years.

So if you're running around with your head always somewhere other than the present, you'll probably miss some things. You'll never be fully rested because your mind will still be worrying while you are sleeping. Things in your life that need attention will be neglected. You won't be able to relax. Your health will probably suffer from the stress.

I can't help but wonder if this is all somehow by design. I'm not usually one to get into conspiracy theories, but our society as whole is moving way too fast and not really making substantial progress where we desperately need progress. It's like someone is winding us all up to keep us running around and worrying about stuff so we don't look too closely at the moment. If you can step back and see clearly for a moment, it might seem like we are preoccupied with stuff that shouldn't really matter much. The tragedy is that while we are spending most of the time semi-conscious we have real problems and real issues that go by unaddressed. An example is that we are currently turning our world into a furnace. Drastic changes need to be made right now if we are going to have a chance at turning it around, but all we're doing is shoveling more coal into the fire. Most people seem to be so disconnected from this issue that they don't even think it's a problem. Is that by design?

The trustee at the local bankruptcy court has killed my credit, but he's also taken a huge burden from me. I was cussing him yesterday for giving me a hard time, but he has actually given me a gift. About 80% of the shit I was worrying about is now gone, and the pressure to find a better paying job is now off. I don't have to be so wrapped up in myself now, and I'm free to do something good for other people.

[liberal N proud]

1. Just enough for retirement

I hear you. My plan is most likely to get derailed when I get laid off. Too old to get a similarly paying job, too young or to short on funds to retire early.


Just give me enough to enjoy retirement, that's all!